Some people pour soy sauce on their vanquished opponent, but not me. I would never Kikkoman when he's down.

Trump's White House & fawning hacks here don't really care about the 0.001% that the BBC gets wrong. They care about all the stuff it gets right.

A good day to resurrect this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaEA...

On the one hand it’s useful to have a reasoned and measured debate on the perceived bias inherent in BBC news, on the other hand Donald Trump is a cunt.

As a TV licence payer I would like to give the BBC my permission to say fuck off to Trump.

I’ve written to Keir Starmer, Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage urging them to condemn Donald Trump’s attack on the BBC. The BBC belongs to Britain, not Trump. We must defend it together.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone. And you don't know it's gone till you can't find it. And then you can't remember why you wanted it in the first place. And now you’ve forgotten what you came in here for.

Fesshole Live is coming to Liverpool, Leicester and Leeds - get your tickets now! We’re also taking the show to Sweden (Malmö, Göteborg, Stockholm) and doing Anon Opin in London and Leicester. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole

I've just invented a new product that's like bubble wrap but each bubble contains a tiny portion of french onion soup. There is no market for this product and it's very difficult to manufacture. My business model is "buy it or I'll attack you"

It’s ironic to resign over editing a bunch of lies to reflect the truth.

At midnight, order a pizza to the address of a cemetery. Stand at the gate dressed in muddy old clothes. When the pizza arrives, try to pay with a ten shilling note.

Sometimes I miss the old classic black & white silent fireworks.

Wella shampoo is great but when my hair is full of Grease, I use Wella Wella Wella Huh shampoo.

Favorite comment I read earlier: "Trump is laser-focused like a small kitten is laser-focused."

This could be an Irish woman

Coworkers act like they don't want you to fill their car with stick insects, but secretly they do

I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig 🐖 🐷 🐽

You know, I've been thinking. I'll try to put my thoughts into words here: Bimble dance a go go go ooh I wonder if the words casual and casualty are related hey biscuits are nice aren't they I wonder what a biscuit tree would look like especially in autumn if they were deciduous biscuit trees boobs.

the former prince will now go by his new name, Andrew Saxe-Offender

Elon Musk’s latest tweets inciting violence in the UK should serve as the final evidence needed for the government to take action against the billionaire www.thelondoneconomic.com/opinion/elon...

🧵I've posted them before, but here's my thread of horror/kids' TV double-bill cinema posters. Happy Halloween... #halloween #cinema #graphicdesign #poster

Following Prince Andrew’s titles being removed, Prince Edward becomes the Duke Of York. Basically, it all shifts up one. For instance, I’m now my next door neighbour, Pauline Cathcart.

The Satsuma is the king of citrus fruits because unlike those other lying little bastards, he is actually easy to peel.

On Halloween, unsettle the trick-or-treat kids at your door by congratulating one of them on their highly realistic ghost outfit, while talking to an empty space behind the others.

Makes his own kimchi and likes the warm sound you only get with vinyl.

In 2018 a Polish environmental charity put a SIM card in a GPS tracker to follow the migratory pattern of a white stork. They lost track with the stork and later received a phone bill for $2,700: someone in Sudan had taken the SIM from the tracker and made over 20 hours of calls.

Chatbots — LLMs — do not know facts and are not designed to be able to accurately answer factual questions. They are designed to find and mimic patterns of words, probabilistically. When they’re “right” it’s because correct things are often written down, so those patterns are frequent. That’s all.

Oh it’s much funnier when you know that the animals on the Montreal Cognitive Test are actually lion, rhino, camel, not tiger, elephant, giraffe

RIP Prunella Scales. Inimitable, except silently in a dark room with a wig and sunglasses.

Advertising is a scourge upon society that provides jobs for otherwise useless people who are only good at lying. Marketing scum hate this fact, because they know it's true.

Love means never having to say you're sorry for hiding a lobster in your wife's purse

Testing out my theory that 1 in 100 garden gnomes will, when thrown, explode on impact like a hand grenade

Yeah I stole your ape pics. What are you gonna do, draw some police

So they didn’t like the ad. Let’s just post Reagan’s 5 min speech against tariffs as it appears on YouTube. Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X). *1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.” youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc

It's almost like putting a narcissistic psychopath with the intelligence and emotions of a 5 year old who has shit his pants in charge was a bad idea.

You should eat a kiwi fruit fuzzy skin and all. None of this chopping the top off and eating it like a boiled egg nonsense.

Absolutely obsessed with framing your employees sleeping on the floor as a humble brag “Look how hard my team works” no dude you’re just bad at project management. Competent companies ship products without cosplaying being homeless

Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!

Sorry I'm late, I got startled by a weird-looking duck and threw my car keys at it

Happy World Wombat Day! Sound on to listen to the very soothing munching noises of this chonky wombat...

Trump ordered Treasury employees not to share any more images of his demolition of The White House.

@greenleejw.bsky.social ☹️ www.theguardian.com/environment/...

the year is 2030. the white house remains half demolished because president trump refused to pay construction workers and musk gutted government spending. two thieves sneak into the white house using a truck mounted ladder and steal the constitution

president macron giving a press conference "The robbery at the Louvre is an attack on the french people, an attack on history, but most of all an NOT NOW CATO"

She's furrier than I would have expected.

Mc Donalds prioritising the delivery drivers is ridiculous. Prioritise those who got off their arses to get their shit food, not the lazy fuckers who can barely get up off the sofa.