Always enjoy listening to @thenewsagents.co.uk especially when discussing the misleader of the free world and his #EmperorsNewClothes. Tonight was sublime as they interviewed the emperor’s tailor. Made me consider buying tena for men.

I’ve just read #WesStreeting‘s resignation letter, and realise what a distinctive choice of words Peter Mandelson has.

If Wes Streeting does resign tomorrow, who do we think will replace Peter Thiel as head of the NHS?

The genius* of Donald Trump’s resolution of the Iran War is that it will save millions of dollars at federal, state, and even citizen level. Producing the Stars and Stripes flags is much more expensive than the white flag they can now proudly fly after his capitulation. *delusion Saigon2.0

Acceptable names for storms: - Damocles - Wilhelm - Troy - Gawain - Siobhan - Hammerhead Not acceptable: - Dave - Trish - Petunia - Blowy McBlowface - Daniels

Long shot here regarding the Epstein war in #Iran, but have the Europeans and other non-psychopath nations considered getting a middle-aged Lancastrian grandmother to shout “Will you not!”

Could someone explain* to the Donald that asking NATO to help with his invasion of Iran is like asking your local Fire Department to help you burn down your neighbour’s house. *This would call for the use of a very weighty explaining bat.

Trump is about to find out what happens when the yapping dog catches the motorcycle. Meanwhile, China, assimilating Africa’s untapped resources and the gulf states’ vast reserves, now covered in Trump’s shite, is poised to dominate a post-fossil fuelled planet.

For the driver cameos at the beginning of each F1 race, they’re obviously coached to do a different dramatic pose: turn to camera, unfold arms, signal “number one” etc. They should be more imaginative: Armpit fart, remove spinach from teeth, bollock scratch, earwax delve. #F1 #ShanghaiGP

Having a clear out of first lines for poems I shall never write. Please help yourself to any of these.

Oh dear I see BBC online news has dropped another clog: “that 5% increase in levies is paid either by the exporters or their customers in the US.” Exporters? Really? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... “”

What a well-considered, finely crafted thread!

Bad News / Good News: 😔 Trump will never serve a single day in custody. 😃 The many people desperately trying to keep him from prosecution will soon desperately hope for a cushy job in the kitchens and spend a lot of nervous time in the showers. Karma

MAGA must be relieved to have rejected monarchy. Imagine the ruling class having control of who can investigate and prosecute the ruling class!

Anybody know when @skynewsrss.bsky.social are publishing the salary details of their presenters for subscribers? #WePayTheirSalaries

Trump is at the point of ordering copies of the US Constitution on softer paper.

Channeling the OIC for the #TrumpParade Khaki-wank: Shouldeeeders.. wait for it… Down! Arms, by the right (or left; whatever) Dangle! By the leeeeeeft (or right)… in your own time… Amble! Anyone remember drill?

Something something Steve Bannon/Piers Gaveston, blah blah blah Elon Musk/Hugh deSpenser, something something Trump/Edward II. Historians care to expand? @davidolusoga.bsky.social

Slight correction if I may: Trump thinks they’re doing this with Ukraine, while Putin is doing this with Europe.

To be fair Trish, quite a few Uber drivers are already qualified GPs.

Not sure whether my uppermost sentiment is disappointment or disgust that Elon Musk is still a Fellow of @royalsociety.bsky.social Surely his anti-science rants and support for rapists and tinfoil hatters reflect poorly on such a previously august body?

While everyone is wobbling on about eggs and left jabs, I’m genuinely moved by the extent of devolution that was championed by Prezza. In my opinion, a genuine legacy of achievement and a real challenge to the privilege of the south east. #RIPJohnPrescott

(To the tune of Eleanor Rigby) Jeremy Clarkson Seeing his arse as his tax dodge stops being legit Tough fucking shit

Huzzah for our Conservative and Reform politicians standing up for workers and their union, and for protestors’ right to protest (even if it disrupts traffic). What sort of woke libtard would expect owners of a multi million pound business to pay tax at the same rate as the rest of us? Shocking

Today’s poem is called ‘Please Bear in Mind’.

This unspeakable, insufferable cunt. Musk won't ever be able to demonstrate a microgram of the bravery and dignity Zelenskyy has demonstrated.

Dear Laura Have you not suggested Starmer simply implements Boris Johnson’s 2019 “Ready to go”™ plan for Social Care? Seems remiss of you not to mention it. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Will the tangerine comb-over rescue the citizens of Clacton from ‘the Honourable Member for Mar-a-Lago’ by appointing him deputy bleach taster to RFK? A win/win I’d have thought.