The energy I’m bringing to America’s 250th birthday:

No cops, no cops, no cops, no cops Just They Might Be Giants No cops, no cops, no cops, no cops Just They Might Be Giants

Don't be afraid of things that go bump in the night. It's usually just the Night Bumpers, and they're mostly harmless if you can avoid their tentacles.

Shakespeare wrote the works of Francis Bacon

imagining a grizzled hardboiled detective saying this while gripping some guy's lapels at a shady bar

Happy Friday! #TGIF

Time's up! Has the jury reached the decision in this case?

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

someone teach this guy how to snap his fingers!

Morning

Let’s take a look at how Apple’s auto captioning is working on Elmo

Othello Othello Oh you’re a funny fellow You’re just like Pulcinello We’ll dress you all in yellow And cover you in jello No matter how you bellow Or try to play the cello Othello So far my broadway musical has a great book, I just need more songs

You’re watching the BBC: Batman’s Birthday Cake. Yeah, we thought it was a weird name for a TV station too, but what can you do

Wallpaper

This is no post, it’s a space station

There is ONE thing I am looking forward to this heatwave: Pictures of paschal candles that have melted in churches. Here's an example from a few years ago. It's my favourite phenomenon. Because, well... Look at it.

I seem to be back in my etymology nerd era

🎶My brain is a place full of wonders, I say, Won’t you join me again in my brain? My brain is a place full of wonders, I say, Won’t you join me again in my brain?🎶

Heavens to Betsy! Heavens to Betsy! Come in, Betsy, do you copy? Over.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Is Mexico gonna pay for it

The Most Tacky Time Of The Year (1964): A beautiful scientist is transported in time to 1996, and meets a poet who helps her fall in love with Santa's nice list for Solstice.

every stupid screwup in this admin is either 30 Rock-coded, Veep-coded, Curb Your Enthusiasm-coded or Always Sunny-coded. Algaegate is all four at once. Very powerful.

Are you as bored as I am, Toad?

He campaigned on “Drain the swamp.” Then for no apparent reason but greed and vanity he decided to retool a beloved national symbol that didn’t need fixing, and now he’s made it a *literal* swamp in the heart of DC. Could the metaphor possibly be any more on the nose?

REWARD: 10,000 GOLD PIECES.

If they could make a girl out of tigers, she would be indistinguishable. But they must make the best of a bad job.

Pumpkin Spice Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin

(hissing in his ear) JD Vance vandalized the reflecting pool, sire! He means to usurp you!

23 Jun 2026

Son Of Elmo (1958): A divorced, murdered bride-to-be gets a second chance in life when a religious puppy magically transports them back to a high-rise. There, they can try to move in with a punch.

Your last saved meme is who you are at your core

[yoga class] *hiding my lightsaber* misinformed I was

rabbi: I'm sorry, my friend, but I must try to dissuade you from this path you have set yourself upon. tamarian: when the river Welk rose, we could not cross. rabbi: ... what?

This deserves a signal boost

Man is the only animal that plays harmonica professionally

Pumpkin Spice Equipment Failure

Isaac Chotiner: can you list some examples of systemic oppression green creatures face? Kermit the Frog: I’m sorry? Isaac Chotiner: well you do mention the difficulty quite a lot

Dang that’s some good police work, how did they guess

LANDLORD: You said you had a hole in your wall? Which wall? ME: The… the fourth wall. LANDLORD: What do you mean? ME: Hey, all you folks here love it when a joke goes postmodern? STUDIO AUDIENCE: (cheers) LANDLORD: Oof, yeah, definitely, that’s a bad one.

It will never stop being funny to me that the street fighter subreddit has a much better, well reasoned ai policy vis a vis literally all universities.

Aries: Do you know the difference between a buffalo and a bison? Either way, one of them is going to wreak havoc on your car this week.

My neighbor told me the cat keeps eating his Prime Ministers so I asked how many PMs he’s had and he said he just goes to Parliament and gets a new PM afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding Prime Ministers to the cat and then his daughter started crying.

Or is it a fiddler?

Check out this sword stuck in a stone!!

But, that's--then he's a nut, right? Do you see--do you see any sense to that? "There May Be Giants?" That reco--that recording I have on. The new one. Did you hear it? I changed it. I took off the intellectuals. I put on There May Be Giants.

Never judge people by their outward appearance. It’s what inside that truly counts! I guess what I’m saying is, you have a very pretty skeleton.

At least he died doing what he loved best: crying “Help, help, this time there’s really a wolf!”

Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way. Or maybe it was the box of gold coins my friend grabbed before he ran off and left me in this snake pit