All right, that does it! If I hear ONE MORE PERSON say I am “kicked out of this mall” for “walking around with a pair of size 56 clown shoes” and “going up to strangers” and “singing ‘Sir I want to buy these shoes For yo mama please’”—

A Merry Christmas Husband (1992): Can Snoopy dress up as a pony? Find out in this capitalistic musical!

A Teddy Bear To Grow Closer To (1964): Can the Little Drummer Boy blow up Christmas? Find out in this fake prequel!

My Dad Is Charlie Brown (1935): Two nutcrackers make up with the punches at a wedding and learn the meaning of Christmas.

POV: you’ve had too much eggnog

IT DIRECTOR: Somebody here clicked on a spam link that went to a honeypot! WINNIE THE POOH: oh bother

I want to do an adaptation of A Christmas Carol where everything is exactly the same except at the end, just before the credits roll, a guy carrying a pile of gift bags shows up and announces he’s the Ghost Of Christmas Procrastinated

You can tell that LotR was written by an academic because Gandalf disappears for like 20 years doing research to answer a single question.

still one of the funniest redactions I’ve ever seen in the Titan investigation interviews MYSTERIOUS SUBMERSIBLE EXPERT: “well I’m sure you’re familiar with my film Titanic”

A few excerpts from Darmok's Christmas Story: Ralphie and Flick, at the flagpole. Randy, his arms down. The Old Man, when the lamp broke. Santa and Ralphie, on the mountain.

Wherever you may be today, wherever your path may lead you, I hope you always find a reason to remember that in 1995, the Muppets made a Christmas TV special starring a singing and dancing Robert Downey Jr. with Leslie Nielsen as his butler.

make a Bond movie casual Live And Let Live

IT DIRECTOR: Somebody here clicked on a spam link that went to a honeypot! WINNIE THE POOH: oh bother

Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans

He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.

Did you hear about the guy who always tells jokes wrong? He shot an elephant for wearing his pajamas

Oh I really like this 🧵— what would you even call it? As OP correctly notes the story as such has meager basis in the Bible itself nor in history— Midrash, maybe? Anyway very neat way of doing theology here, us Christians can learn a thing or two.

Pumpkin Spice Curmudgeon

A very perplexed bird got into our church office after morning services today! So here is a song of him: music.youtube.com/watch?v=MyA1...

The Advertising Executive Before Ebenezer Scrooge (1996): On Christmas, the Elf on the Shelf brings a photographer and a neighbor together. But can love overcome a handmade doll?

And to all who celebrate, very best wishes and warmest tidings of the begga dumdum degga doe dum sandy klore ug hnrrrrggh www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_jR...

Ringing the hand bell down the roads at the break of dawn and bellowing MERRY CHRISTMAS IN HELL TO THE GHOST OF OLIVER CROMWELL

POP QUIZ! Fill in the blank: “____ wish you a Merry Christmas?”

Uhhh, maybe it went for a bite to eat!

Serial Killer In The Family (1982): A talking snowman ruins New Years Eve for everyone.... everyone except an enchanted pastor.

Meet The Piano Teachers (1995): A candy-coated boss is sent to a resort to visit the magical world of carols. But when she starts falling in love with Jesus, a young couple and their baby might search for her first!

Dreaming Of A Secret Christmas (2001): It's love at first sight when a mother and a defense lawyer meet one day in Christmas Town. But at Christmas, love can be rich.

You can get away with a lot of *really, really clunky* plot exposition if you are lucky enough to get a narrator as charming as Burl Ives

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh

Fascinating thread, many people may not be aware of this

He's making a list, Checking it twice, Going to find out you kept them on ice, Santa Claus has eaten your plums. He knows you wanted breakfast, He thinks it's a mistake, He knows they were delicious, sweet, And so cold, for goodness sake!

No fair that I wasn’t made aware of this reaction image until the day before Christmas

“Let’s make this the second-best Christmas ever!” “Second-best? What do you mean second-best?” “I just think it’s probably hard to top the first one.”

Mary did you know That C. S. Lewis and Aldous Huxley both died the same day as JFK

🎶 SHE: “I really can’t stay…” HE: “But baby, there’s zombies outside!” SHE: “I’ve got to—what?” ZOMBIES: “Braaaaaains” SHE: “Ok, fair point.” 🎶

Priest In The Family (1996): Christmas will be canceled unless an emergency christmas tree can live up to a magical VHS tape.

i don’t know what we did to deserve dril but thank you cosmos

Yes I’m sure *somebody* must have done it, I’m just saying it’s kind of presumptuous for you to assume it was *me* you saw wearing the Grinch mask careening frantically through the library on roller skates yelling “Who was the most educated man in the Bible? The man with a thousand DMins!”

He's making a list, Checking it twice, Going to find out you kept them on ice, Santa Claus has eaten your plums. He knows you wanted breakfast, He thinks it's a mistake, He knows they were delicious, sweet, And so cold, for goodness sake!

You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is kissing Your mom

Pumpkin Spice Case Law

Pumpkin Spice Council Of Chalcedon

it's Christmas Eve but it's also the 16 year anniversary of the time an art historian for the Hungarian National Gallery spotted a long lost painting while watching Stuart Little with his 3-year-old daughter, recognizing it in the movie set

Pumpkin Spice Theory

Pumpkin Spice Dictatorship

Pumpkin Spice Flatulence