Pumpkin Spice Lutfisk

Death AND taxes? In this economy?

You’re so vain, you probably think this earth-scorching demolition is about you, don’t you?

Mario's mind is where it always is. On pasta!

Dress for the job you want

Telling my kids this is The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) youtu.be/nM4okRvCg2g?...

*holding up a 1,042 page document* Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??

inflatable corn maze

A E I O U Who What When Where How 🤝 and sometimes Y

This whole discourse is a whole lot of people showing just how gullible they are, and getting mad at people who know how things work for explaining why exactly the tiktoker in question was setting off red flags.

A Very Young Christmas (1965): Mary and Joseph meets the ghost of Christmas Past in Los Angeles. They destroy business executives.

“Why does this church partner with another organisation to support unhoused ppl instead of opening their own doors?” because that church has century old plumbing and half a working toilet, the community space has a boiler and showers, next question

"Lots of small churches are good stewards of their resources and partner with established charities to handle the logistics of food distribution, instead of wasting thousands on expanding their own buildings to do work that's already being done in the community! Gotcha, Christians!"

A E I O U Who What When Where How 🤝 and sometimes Y

Toad, in all my life, I've never seen anyone express the true spirit of Christmas better than you!

Are we sunk now?

I love this show! Is it on?

i don’t think the main problem with the american church is “too many of them refuse to be scammed by a lady who is obviously lying.”

What if there was a game show called Survival of the Godliest, except there’s no real way to measure godliness so they just choose whoever is the cleanest, since that’s the next best thing

Do you suppose Santa Claus has to personally approve each piece of merch that licenses his image, or does his agent take care of that? Do you think he keeps one of each design for a memento? He seems like he would have a display room to show it all somewhere. That’d be a really big room. Do you thi

My 8yo niece after I was talking about how Chicagoans are protecting our neighbors because the president wants to hurt them "this makes sense because Donald Trump is a (*whispers*) B. I. T. C. H."

Hillel: put your right foot in Gentile: done Hillel: now take it out Gentile: ...ok Hillel: put your other foot in, shake it all about Gentile: wait what? Hillel: what is hateful to you do not do to another Hillel: that's what it's all about

Is that a jingling sound I hear in the attic? Could it be me trying to add new jokes to this bot for the holidays?

If they ever make an award winning drama about the one moral person in the Trump administration they have to call it “A Man For All Seasons Total Landscaping”

HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

No, sir, mementos are not Mentos for men, but I can see where you would be confused.

We’ve done it, folks. Scientists have discovered the next evolution of “is a hotdog a sandwich”

BBC really burying the lede there

🃏

Pumpkin Spice Bassist

famous artwork but with a twist: thread

Brilliant @andreyevsky.bsky.social

The rules of cause and effect were in fact designed by dolphins! You may have heard that everything happens for a porpoise.

[A loud squealing noise rends the heavens as a biplane piloted by a pig shrieks across the sky pulling a banner that says “SEASON 3 DVD BOX SET”] ME: I confess I didn’t see that coming PRIEST (popping up from behind the organ): Did somebody say confess? ME: Not now, Father

ASMR - Sandwiches Landing On Cops (Subway) | Male voice | Salami, Turkey, Bologna | 3 hr compilation SATISFYING 🥪 - YouTube

Know your rights! If someone knocks at your door claiming to be the Beatles, ask them to sing Love Me Do. The cops are allowed to falsely claim to be the Beatles to gain entry to your apartment, but they will not be very good at singing Love Me Do.

I have not heard this take before but I think I dig it

that’s a wrap on sandwich guy

06 Nov 2025

Women in the Bible often don't get enough credit As one example: The Proverbs 31 woman's entire full-time support staff (no, for real. verse 15.)

That is the most disgusting, revolting, hideous inanity I've ever seen!

Somebody’s sense of humor has good taste

The jury in the Sandwich Guy trial — aka 12 Hangry Men — is in deliberations.

ask your doctor if committing to the bit is right for you

Forget it, Jake: it’s Funkytown

Who drives sheep to the hospital A van

now watch, see this whistle looks exactly the same, but only dogs can hear it!