Well, this would be a nice bonus

It may sound weird but the one thing I miss about ye olde bird app is being able to take some of the IT vendors I deal with to task. It generated FAST responses even with my small account, because they didn’t like how quickly anything could grow out of control.

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father! The Warrior: You have my sword! The Elf: And my bow! The Dwarf: And my ax! The Necromancer: And your father!

Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Watching him speak so painfully inarticulately, you can absolutely picture how this is a guy who imagines he would absolutely kill if he had a phone that gave him funny insults to read to everyone. It would be tragic if he weren’t such a destructive evil fuck.

It's Thursday night, and please enjoy this short video of Madden Novogratz on vocals (remember that name) and my son on guitar doing a cover that you will probably recognize.

He’s comparing healthcare to home insurance. Saying the “healthy” should be rewarded. It’s eugenics. Disability can happen to anyone. You know how a hurricane can destroy your home no matter how many “safeguards” you had? That’s chronic illness. It’s the hurricane. $2k won’t cut it.

I’m “Black Rojo.” Just… just Black Red. I don’t have the first clue what my powers should be based on that. Something about having been able to prevent the French Revolution before it got bloody but I was simply born too late?

“Your honor, I defer to my counsel to speak on my behalf regarding this matter.” *a small crow wearing a tie hops up on the table and begins curiously pecking at a pen* Prosecutor: “objection, your honor!” Judge, utterly delighted and amused: “Oh i’m gonna allow the HELL out of this!”

That man said we can't have the Sunday scaries meanwhile it's Wednesday and the scaries aint stop scarying 🫠

it could be in the faces of smiling children, or the first warm breeze of summer

DOGSHIT FIT. DUNGEON 1 MILLION YEARS

THE GRIM REAPER GOT THAT STORM TROOPER AIM

I can’t wait till I can play my dead grandma as an avatar in Fortnite

for example: we just watched Joyce Carol Oates break Elon Musk’s psyche into 20,000 wriggling maggot-like pieces, and she said nothing anyone could ever construe as a bannable threat in the process

it's on miro. it's literally on figma. you have to log into okta. it's in jira. it's on zoom. it's on pureref. it's on flow. it's on perforce. it's on slack. you can find it on slack. you can go to slack and find it. log onto slack right now. you can slack it. slack has it for you. it's on slack.

Watch Pluribus on Apple TV. From Vince Gilligan, starring Rhea Seehorn. No, I can’t tell you what it’s about. No, you shouldn’t try to find out. Just trust me. You trust me, right? Go in blind. (Also ignore the stupid ad campaign.) The only bad part so far is they’ve only released two episodes.

Maybe if people think the Democratic Party is "weak" it is not because they think that Democrats "care about other people" but that they "fold every single time."

…the real Left Rogan was Teen Vogue wasn’t it. Shit.

Remember when they said they need a Left Rogan for the “youth” Which youth?

New awareness campaign

Oh man, if you’re a fan of Terry Pratchett the writing in this reminds me a lot of his and it’s just incredibly fun. I cannot recommend this game enough.

I have the ability to eat bread and cheese and stare into a fire for basically an unlimited amount of time and for this I think I would have made a good peasant

Phew managed to make it another day without getting a nazi tattoo. It’s hard out here. Just nazi tattoos roaming the streets attaching themselves to people. Stay woke

Anytime I get sad or bummed out I think there’s people blissfully going about their day not knowing any of what’s going on around them, and then I also get jealous.

"it's women's fault that we're losing, and if we lose harder it will be Jewish people's fault" wow okay! "how do you expect to win back men if they can't be Nazis??" in the year of our Mamdani 2025 is a bonkers thing to say. give them male candidates to get excited about that don't suck??? maybe??

Every call is fake. Every text is spam. Every post is bait. Every email’s a scam. Every video is ai. Every site is broken. Not a truth to be found just dollars to be stolen. Having a fun time in the griftocolypse.

"AI companion" just get a tamagotchi like a normal person

Well well well

You guys, last night we had a new precedent. While both the kids are lovers, they do not snuggle together… OR DO THEY?!

“Kids”

"The AI Revolution has started" declares a lady on LinkedIn. "Welcome to the AI Age. How does that make you feel?" It makes me feel that people who have invested an awful lot of money in a very dodgy and unethical technology are starting worry that 'Fetch' simply won't happen.

UNTIL IT’S DONE, Ep. 4: Sylvia Rivera In the 1970s, queer New Yorkers had been pushed to the margins of NYC. Our trans neighbors faced immense cruelty. But in Sylvia Rivera, they found a champion. As we combat Trump’s politics of darkness, her legacy can light the path forward.

Be right back, gotta go become a powerful warlock to hex this dumb timeline into being that cool one

She was unforgettable, like the jingle in a commercial for a drug that can kill you in several ghastly ways.

As the administration goes all in on an alternate reality about portland that bears no resemblance to fact and rule of law, continuing radical (and just plain funny, ridiculing) acts of the imagination along with other ways of getting out the reality on the ground may help curb their momentum.

Higgledy piggledy Timothée Chalamet Has a name meriting Endless design Much like his forerunner Benedict Cumberbatch: Hexasyllabically, Easy to rhyme

ME: Now Mom, just remember, there's a lot of disinformation and AI in your social feed and your friends' Facebook. MOM: I know! My friend sent me this crazy post where someone used AI to make an image of a giant frog fighting Army troops! ME: ... okay, no, that one's ... goddamit, Portland.

writing a 2025 version of "We Didn't Start the Fire" that is just four minutes of indistinguishable frustrated yelling that ends with an evacuation alert for an actual wildfire

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

I look forward to the shutdown in which the only ongoing federal projects are ICE and his stupid ballroom, but ICE keeps kidnapping all of the construction workers so the ballroom never gets built.

i have seen exactly zero evidence to suggest that peter thiel is anything other than a dumbass who got lucky once