The psycho pedophile regime who kidnaps and kills us is polling unfavorably

The John Wick series is so effective because it fully embodies the three major tenets of dumb guy fantasy: 1. being able to kick anyone’s ass, 2. living by a code of honor, and 3. paying for things with gold coins

KINDLY FARMER: Come on inside, Dick. Martha has a hot plate for you. DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition. [later] BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass FARMER: what the hell

the predator using his little targeting beam to try and light his way down the hall to take a leak at 2am and tripping over a bunch of skulls

This is definitely going to kill one CEO so thank you Nike

This looks like a photo of Bradley Cooper playing a role as a coked-out Al Pacino

Hearing a Phil Collins song today brought to mind the strange moment last year when I realized the various posters for the Halloween sequel trilogy translate beautifully into album covers from Collins' discography.

turing test didnt account for if the judges have a billion dollar financial incentive to believe the computer's alive

doctor doctor gimme the news ive got an unworn pair of baby shoes

if you played sonic the hedgehog and put down the controller, sonic would look at you and tap his foot impatiently. this was proof that sega genesis cartridges had souls. the decision was made to make the storage cases a lot larger than the cartridges so they would have room to move around in there

sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young

It's so cool how a bunch of kids realized there was a genocide in the middle east in 2023 and now suddenly every major company and government is tripping over their own dicks to turn the world into an Orwllian surveillance state so that never happens again.

please give us more personal data please please please please c’mon you’re being so mean dude. we only got breached like three times. we’re NOT going to sell it man please please please plus its for like safety? so you’re the one who looks stupid right now come on pleaaaaaase just one data point bro

I hate these assholes so much. They ruined Cassian Andor’s life.

so far tonight bad bunny has sung more reggaeton songs than the patriots and seahawks combined

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,

TECMO SUPER BOWL TECMO 1991 NES

We put on an all-Yiddish community production of fiddler on the roof in Philadelphia and cast member and local artist Sofie Rose Seymour created the most amazing show poster that ever was

I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent

Tom Hardy

The Three Ages Of Man

It’s really weird for some corners of the media to do a whole “the Epstein files are a moral panic that has gone too far” thing when no one has faced any sort of punishment and doesn’t sound like they’re going to.

I’ve watched this about 20 times already

Old friends, together again. @mst3kofficial.bsky.social rifftraxmakesmst3k.com

oh that’s why she lost

im building machines that i keep saying will both throw you out of work and allow masked special police forces in service to a lunatic i bought and paid for to recognize your face and check if i agree with your beliefs. im part of a pedophile ring that put this into motion. why are you rude to me

Every day I ask myself

All the stars are here: Brantley Gilbert, Brice Bradley, Gabby Babby, Bibb Glibsy, Slab Gabbert, Brice Bryce,

A secret safe huh? WAIT THATS GERALDO's Music?!?!

you know how in Buffy there was an episode where she was clinically dead for a few seconds and that meant another slayer appeared? That happened to post Malone and that’s how we got jelly roll

It’s actually pretty easy to beat Isaac Chotiner if you know what to do (wait until he completes his third attack sequence, roll behind him, use Flame Dart until you’re out of mana, hide under the gargoyle head until his Rage Wing Spin finishes, stun him with a Sylvan Dagger, equip the Thallslayer w

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

Elon Musk for the last 24 hours:

Producer: so the Russian pilots, we thinking some pretty nondescript Soviet-type proletariat hero guys or— GUILLERMO DEL TORO, SWEATING AND PANTING A LITTLE: techno bi swinger dream couple

ELON MUSK: your island is so freaking like, based. it's seriously like effing amazeballs. i'm going to basically be making like all of mars totally just like the same as how epic this is STEPHEN HAWKING: jeff rey why, did you in vite, this lame, ass nerd

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Darren Aronofsky’s the Civil War