Incredible photo from ChiDrone on Instagram. Chicago rules

I know less than anyone on the planet about hoops, but seeing how the Bulls are about to rebuild, this seems like a good deal to me. A bargain. I would charge more. I would charge $83. If I knew shit about hoops.

"The Rhodes floated me through my latch key/TV childhood... the sonorous enchantress within the soundtrack of my life."

lingering substackers: it costs me $81 a month to not be on substack, not much to overcome

as the only person (to my knowledge) to ever be given a sports beat at Cracked, it is my right to once a year turn the Shipwrecked Sailor Blog into a @kdonhoops.com impression. It’s the Annual Shipwrecked Sailor NBA column! www.lazyandentitled.org?p=162657949

push to rename accent aigu as "accent Jackée"

It's a dumb freaking thing the league invented so they could accept a boatload of Emirati money

NBA announcers say "the Cup" and I'm like what is that

Don't be afraid of its plenty. Don't Hesitate by Mary Oliver #Voice by me.

The NFL is pouring untold sums of money into flag football and successfully had it added as an Olympic sport. It's playing games in Australia, Rio, Madrid, etc. A big plank of the NBA's long-term growth strategy is embracing influencer culture.

it's 3:35, play a tasty lick

One Battle After Austin Rivers (George Hill watched this religiously in the 2017 playoffs)

Dr. T and the Women and Austin Rivers

2 Austin 2 Rivers

Things to do in Denver when you’re Austin Rivers

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Austin Rivers

Irriversible

Austin Rivers: The Bone Temple

The fine folks over at 800LBS Gorilla are releasing my special, '20 Years In Comedy and All I Got Was This Lousy Special," on their YouTube today! Premiere is at 6 p.m. MST and I'll be live in the comments. Join us! www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qJV...

the classic almodovar vehicle, ¿Qué he hecho yo para merecer a Austin Rivers!

Abolition is the only option and only the first step. Every person who votes to give this operation a single dime is guilty of crimes against humanity.

A*U*S*T*I*N

Austin Rivers Everywhere All At Once

We Bought a Austin Rivers

Mystic Austin Rivers Alt txt bonus:

Slacker, but instead of being about Austin, Texas locals, it’s just about Austin Rivers.

Austin Rivers with Wolves

Austin Rivers got Fingered

Faster, Austin Rivers! Kill! Kill!

Austin Rivers as Tom in Cast Away. Just a whole hour of Austin by himself.

Austin Rivers is Afraid

Me and You and Everyone We Know and Austin Rivers

To Austin Rivers: Thanks For Everything, James Harden

Ordinary Austin Rivers

It behooves us to assume that Schumer is not just cowardly or incompetent, he simply does not want to abolish lCE because he thinks they're good and necessary

Thurston Moore would be a beautiful name for a philanderer

Austin Rivers: Endgame

We need to talk about Austin Rivers

Austin Rivers and Carol and Ted and Alice

ruin a movie with Austin Rivers

"yeah ... she's alright"

This is the closest thing I've seen to real consequences for any American in the Epstein files

"John Goodman on Hume Cronyn's back could outrun this guy!"

i would use Greg Kelser to narrate any documentary.

It's gonna be ironic if Isaiah Stewart gets a longer suspension for going after Miles Bridges than Miles Bridges got when he did the thing that made everyone root for Stewart in this confrontation.

Chess, not checkers.

That was the most hockey player behavior the NBA has ever seen.

Genuinely can Isaiah Stewart skate because the Blackhawks could really use an enforcer