when you talk shit about juan posadas

cannoli after dark

just lost a bet and now i have to suck my own penis and fuck my own ass

i have anger problems and hallucinations of clowns from smoking weed off of aluminium soda cans from ages 11 to 26

{weakly} the darkness .. it's closing in... *abruptly gets up and brushes the dirt off my jeans* Yeah and who fucking cares. let's get it

iffy ube

bro quit being epic and based ur scaring the hoes

hold on i haven’t done my nightly bedtime routine yet. i’ve gotta get in 50 ig story hearts, 5 story replies, 10 funny and/or suggestive reel shares, 3 horny meme close friends story shares, 4 risky texts, then swipe on dating apps til exhaustion

bingus political take of the day: if every few weeks u have to call ur reps to remind them not to vote for the "kill everyone who voted for me" bill, maybe they aren't actually representing u and the system is a sham

didn’t he already do this bit last year

Backspace is for cowards, we post all gas no brakes here.

your dj friends on a tuesday night will be like “come over we’re gonna hang out in a room where the big light is on and it’s red and someone is playing a drum machine set to 220bpm”

Instant all-timer here:

Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.

damn @whstancil.bsky.social you a freak i was wrong about you man

some important data here

best part of my ex dumping me a third and final time is i don’t have to pretend daft punk is good anymore

I remember a really good quote that said "both America and the soviet union needed bread lines, but only one had them."

once again left with $40 to my name to survive on for a week

jimmy fallon has a knack for embracing scams

mpreg actually stands for Marxism-Pregn-

she’s right, guys. Juliet’s incitement of violence may seem harsh but complaining never gets us anywhere

don’t kill yourself thursday doesn’t apply to people who use ai

don’t kill yourself thursday doesn’t apply to people who own a cybertruck

your reply guys on instagram are the 54% of adult americans that are functionally illiterate above a 6th grade level

What did you think would happen when you restricted access to care?

ive been collecting static electricity in a rubber ball filled with steel wool. it’s beginning to sing for me

they should make a prescription pill version of a sexually tense night out with your homegirls

i opened the app and almost instantly read three disgusting memes that made me want to kill myself in a row so i am going to close the app for a while now

Remembering when this defamatory hate group called me an antisemite, using a photo of me getting arrested for protesting Nazi terrorists after the Tree of Life massacre.

no idea

ok i’ll bite why is everyone talking about paul dano

i am genuinely a little concerned about reactionary leftism and neo-medievalism

weed leaf tattoo on the clitellum

i’ve memorized many human behaviors and idiosyncrasies for public use

all music creation is either parkour or menus,

they should make a gloryhole for kissing

Forever jealous of the folks in that chat who got to personally hurt Elon Musk’s feelings.

I think if I lost my company more than $77 billion I'd probably get fired.

toxic lesbian call that a womenace

quoting Lenin on my ig story. bad bitches hitting the heart

chewing sounds in the uber share should be punishable by death

tf are these qrts, don't believe it until you see it

they could have paid me $1 billion to say “this is a bad idea that will lose money” and be $70 billion richer than they are now

don't care what the haters say legs were still worth it

such a classic scene