I need something easier to eat than something I have to microwave for 2 minutes

Dogged By Controversy, Planter Covers Up Totenkopf Tattoo With Zeon Insignia. Nerds Call It "Kind Of A Lateral Move At Best"

I want more people to care that SNAP benefits are being cut off on November 1. 40% of SNAP beneficiaries are children. This is callous and vile.

Guy who actually everyone hates: what up, Bluesky???

Mitch McConnell:

Weirdly fun to block the White House

[through gritted teeth] Block and move on. Block and move on.

Bluesky already has a president named Pixelated Boat, so you can block this imposter.

I suspect the MAGA government decided to launch all these Bluesky accounts tonight to try to bait people in advance of No Kings. These people have incurable 4chan brain and this is how they operate. Block them. Do not engage. Do not give them what they want.

The blue unicorn in animal crossing asked if i knew how to make french fries. He said he makes them julian style. And I'm like, yeah. That's basic french fries.

unhinged litarature is unreadable, the hinge holds all the pages in order

Books are sandwiches made of words

I hate straight Halloween, what do you mean you’re the lead singer of Imagine Dragons?

free printable halloween mask

It's not my job to rain on anyone's parade, and I don't work for free, so. I'll just be over here, sitting with all this rain I have, twiddling my fingers, watching your stupid parade.

Seeing Ms. Rachel say exactly what needs to be said to Obama is so damn refreshing

To all the Hot Michael's out there 😉

He was a dumb man who manned dumbly

Welcome to America

"The guy who wore the Charlie Brown ghost costume?" in response to someone mentioning the Watchmen's Rorshach

Which Riyadh Comedy Festival performer do you think is the most likely to get themselves into deep shit

Doing evil looks exhausting. I would be so tired.

Okatsuka posted the censorship rules for the controversial comedy festival, noting how many "You can’t say anything anymore!" comedians have signed on. www.avclub.com/riyadh-comed...

like, not even the LUTHERANS believe that shit

the rapture is a hilarious idea that the american protestants made up in the mid 19th century as a way for chickenshit losers to spare themselves the miserable horrors they liked imagining for other people skipping suffering??? NOT VERY CATHOLIC TBH

Condiment King was in the Lego Batman movie! But so were 41 other Batman villains?? Who is even left?

TV shows used to be 10,000 white people. If you couldn't tell them apart, them's were the breaks

I have a name you know

watching this trump news conference and it is just a nonstop stream of absolute nonsense and actual lies although, it is not clear whatsoever whether or not trump can distinguish between the truth and his own fantasies

This guy is such a loser

[To the tune of Diana Ross's "I'm coming out"] 🎶 I'm 🎶 crashing 🎶 ... out. 🎶 I'm crashing! 🎶

Well, Fallon's been licking boot since 2016, so I guess he's not going anywhere so. that's too bad.

hard to really take a lot of this kimmel shit that seriously, especially from people who were lockstep behind bringing militarized cops and paid goons down on college kids for calling a genocide a genocide. the horse has been walking very slowly out the barn for a while now

This government is run by turds

I remember someone making the joke about how all those apocalypse movies and shows happen only in the US, and, like, in the rest of the world things are probably fine and normal? Anyway...

I have a theory about the identity of the perpetrator here

I’m getting Biblically Accurate Angel (threatening, complimentary)

Being banned for life from the internet you say?

charlie kirk can't read your posts celebrating his death. but a bunch of the worst people on the planet might. so, before you post, make sure you're doing the maximum amount of psychological harm

people forget that on this solemn day Ted Cruz liked step-mom cuck porn on his twitter account

So, funny story

Now was that so hard

I’m sorry but if you ask me to vote for this man I will walk to Canada.

The whole thread is good, but when tetris isn't available, here's how to run the same pattern. Visualize pong. At speed. focus on the ball. Keep your eyes open. Watch the ball. The world blurs. Sing anything with disjointed lyrics too. Beck, rem, Billy Joel are ones my generation knows. Idk yours.

Aww. It seems like just yesterday he was in the headlines being awful.