Friendly reminder that I block people who post some variant of "it won't matter because nothing matters" on sight. Not even because they're wrong, but because I find this habit of saying the most tedious and predictable thing as if that makes you an edgy truth teller incredibly grating.

the big pro big box store move came around COVID when Shop Local shifted to mean Do a Pickup Order from Target instead of Amazon

i sleep in a big bed with my wife

Senator: (after spending 8 hours crafting the perfect tweet) Instead of acting illegally, the president should consider the price of turnips at the grocery

I think Trader Joe's makes their white bread at the special Goes Bad Extra Fast factory

There's an episode of Melrose Place called "Peanut Butter and Jealousy"

There's really no shutdown compromise I'm cool with short of the president resigning and his underlings all going to jail

I'm not looking for Posters to lead the Democratic Party, I promise. I am just looking for people who understand the gravity of the goddamn situation. There is just nothing here. It's air. You're better off saying nothing at all.

This reads like one of Paul Rust's New No-No's on Comedy Bang Bang

Yankees reliever Mark Leiter looks like a human sized LEGO minifig

We all hung out in a coffee shop called Poopies up on the the strip

Everyone’s posting classic vids I hope I’m the first one to do Poopie’s up on the strip but I understand if I’m not

New sleep paralysis demon just dropped

I cannot find the clip of Jack Nicholson being interviewed and saying he used to go to a coffee shop called Poopies down on the strip

Morale sounds great

Brett Cecil Pitcher Debut: 2009 - Retired: 2018 STL - TOR

These people simply need to be challenged, up and down the board.

NEWS: Sinclair says its ending its pre-emption of "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"

One of the best sumo wrestlers in the world right now is a Ukrainian dude. Absolutely thrilling to watch every single match.

Disappointed to see who is at the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

Concrete masons should be called gravel agents

I was back at 26 Federal Plaza today, where an ICE agent violently threw this bereft woman to the ground in front of her kids. She had not touched him. She did not pose any threat. She had to be taken to the hospital. (🎥: Elias Eliahu)

probably the one constant in baseball from little league to the pros is that when a kinda big guy gets up to bat the other team is like "oh shit here he comes"

the remote is one of those big red YES buttons but it only turns on Fox News

Cal Raleigh is the front runner for Fattest Ass in baseball

The fall preview in the end of August was pretty cool, but now it's gonna be in the 80s straight through early October. C'mon man

Sperm whales are the most unsettling looking creatures. Living things shouldn't be vaguely rectangular in form

I am so tired of Michael Kay's home run calls. They are just terrible.

Judge getting all the homers out of his system before the postseason

Wonder if the cat is gonna try to throw up on my face again tonight or if she'll let me sleep

Hey man I need these kids to not be sick for one full week

Did it again after James said he didn't leave an old banana peel in his drawer

This is the funniest thing I've ever read. This is the softest man in the world

Turner Vlasic Pickles

Got up at 3am unable to sleep because I can't breathe out of my nose. Went downstairs, finally started dozing again close to 5, then the cat on the back of the couch started making throw up sounds directly above my head so I shoved her off so she can do it on the floor and not directly on my face.

Dude looks like a character from Doug

The City of Aspen is undertaking a three-week project to enhance pedestrian safety and accessibility at Glory Hole Park.

That's right

A @chicago.suntimes.com scoop so important it’s being cited by The NY Times and other national media. Bodycam video obtained by the newspaper from police shows a gap between what the feds said and what actually happened in fatal incident in Franklin Park, IL chicago.suntimes.com/the-watchdog...

the MLB ABS Challenge sounds like a Men's Health cover

good timing guys www.theverge.com/news/783489/...

Chicagohenge, Manhattanhenge, and other similar phenomena are defined as when the sun shines between some buildings or something

three weeks into the school year, second illness transferred from children to parents

now that i have been Left Behind, I am forming the Tribulation Force

I do the Tim Robinson "you sure about that" thing multiple times a day with my kids and they absolutely hate it. It's the best

I just remembered Book of Boba Fett.

People can't get enough of the character we all know as Grogu, from that TV show from a few years ago