I've done the calculations, and a second job will absolutely help me get out of debt by the end of the year, as long as I start no later than March of 2004.

Intimacy? You mean yoked up together and hauling a wicked load of firewood across the snow? Hellyeah

More views #ও☉❢☉✑ #poetry #writing #micropoetry #blueskywriters #writingcommunity

I’ve decided to win the Oscar™️ for best actor this year.

TV series idea: "The Queen's Gambit," but Uno

Last minute holiday gift ideas: - lint from dryer - oddly shaped ice cube - cocaine

Imaginary friend

Wraithing about

If you marry a mail order bride, how much is the postage for all the bridesmaids?

Okay that was three posts in a short time of people wishing they were dogs, what’s up

THERAPIST: Perhaps it's time to become... Doctor "Why?" DOCTOR WHO: *starts sobbing*

i was told that when it’s the end of the world as we know it that i would feel fine liars

Mixed signals except it's just my cat finding me to say hello but biting me instead

Video evidence of me being a big old softie, protecting even the smallest one.

Everyone, I ouija boarded Lincoln's ghost and he said the new White House bathroom is "too gross to piss in"

The Waffle House at midnight. A drunk concert goers best friend.

How amazing if both World Series teams stopped everything and agreed to be co-champions.

Pitchers and catchers 105 days

Toronto, you will not taste victory until you sacrifice Drake

Best super bowl ever.

Not all who wander into the woods to scream are lost.

I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.

This weekend in Poland, it's time to change CEST to CET. In my opinion, it's high time to stop changing time.

🎼Tell me lies. Tell me sweet, little lies🎶

Anybody wanna come watch me squeeze these life lemons?

If they’re still mad at you, melt cheese on something and present it to them as your peace offering.

There’s no power up quite like that perfect cup of coffee.

Some days I try too hard. Some days I don’t try hard enough. Either way, I’d rather still be in bed.

The best skeets? Random answers;) E.g.: Never gym, always gin;D

Just saw my reflection and apologized.

If you ever want a joke ruined with facts, post it on social media.

Detroit Zoo!!🎃

Happy Fall!

🖤

I can’t believe the roses are still blooming! 🌹 I love it though.

"Love your creepy Halloween pic" "That's my regular face."

I have a few of these traveling witch figurines in my shop!

mouse hollow

clutching serpents

Believe in yourself, you are capable of remarkable things.

Sometimes, you need time to yourself so you can breathe!

Seasons don’t matter. Iced coffee is just who I am.

I love when my house is filled with the scent of fresh air.

I'm not wrong my memory is wrong.

Fuckit, worlds gone to shit, buying the v-neck tees

Boop!

Maybe we could have a little accountability, as a treat