When authoritarianism is on the rise, you can count on the richest, least vulnerable men on the planet to be the biggest cowards.

i was told that when it’s the end of the world as we know it that i would feel fine liars

If you don't tell your kids that chocolate milk comes from brown cows and strawberry milk comes from pink cows, are you even a real parent bro?

"The growing season is over," I say sadly as I put my dick away.

Trader Joe’s >>> Traitor Joe’s

America is so broken 💔 and social media is partially to blame i don’t know how it gets fixed and i am no longer hopeful

This place is deader than my sex life

The way some folk react when I mention my hobbies you’d think collecting toenail clippings was a more niche hobby than it is.

Her: I literally can not unlock the mind of a man. Me: It's simple really. We're stupid and horny. Adjust your calculations accordingly.

Six months ago I had never believed in a conspiracy theory. I now firmly believe Epstein was murdered and i hate trump even more for this. *sigh*

taking a little break. be well, friends 🫶🏻

"Since the start of Trump’s second term, the Court has routinely allowed the administration to implement objectively unconstitutional actions by pretending that they’re simply making a narrow procedural ruling rather than blessing Trump’s wholesale destruction of democracy."

Women don’t fart, their buttholes just softly whisper “I’m fine”.

I mask my tears by sweating a lot.

We forge the chains we wear in life.

My Mom says I’m funny

Cloudy day at the beach still better than a sunny day in the office

“Nice rack!” Me, looking at your spices

I love people who are highly aware of their worth but highly humble too and don't look down on people.

N.W.A. releases “Straight Outta Compton” as a single today in ‘88 — after recording the album for a mere $12,000 “We were just trying to tell our truth,” said Ice Cube. “We had no idea it would become a battle cry for people who felt ignored, disrespected, or brutalized. But that’s what it became.”

I will fight any dog on hardwood floors.

I thought Beechwood was what you got from looking at bikinis near the ocean.

The tide is coming in Wish I was, too

I promise you, no friendship, relationship, or situationship is worth hurting your mental health over. Period.

Your partner coming to you about something you’re doing wrong isn’t a personal attack. It’s a healthy sign they value the relationship and want to make it work...it's a heads-up. You communicate, you fix things, you stay. That's emotional maturity. That's commitment. That's love.

anyway, today is one day closer to college football season 🥰

Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no butthole.

Neither of the bartenders here appear to have daddy issues, so I won’t be here long.

If any of you ever see me on a beach with a metal detector and a shovel, please shoot me. Preferably a head shot. Make it count.

Going to mix a Twisted Tea with a Mike’s Hard Lemonade to make a Hard Twisted Arnold Palmer.

The lifeguard pointed to the "No lethal weapons at the pool" sign. She could have just said that my toe nails could use a trim.

Unlike Trump, Biden didn't stifle international commerce with haphazard and economically harmful tariffs. But no. That's not why they call it Trader Joe's.

See less of this.

if nothing else, he will be dead one day-and soon- and that is something to hold on to 🥰

It's hilarious to watch MAGA lose their shit when AI gives them actual facts. They start bitching that the AI is "woke"...which I guess means woke can now be defined as true.

Fuck it. I'm reposting your Wordle score.

Sharing is caring ...unless you have herpes.

Look up!🌲☀️ 📸PNW sky

At what point does she try again throw her heart in to be caught by a "him"? Maybe someday... but not right now she loves her peace & the stillness allowed Maybe one day... but she has what she needs so she walks alone where no one misleads. #inkMine

loyal people are my peopl but loyalty is not unconditional it is a contract that depends upon reciprocity and mutual respect ✌🏻

this time, this place

Sometimes you need to be swept away...

the unspoken thoughts the ones I never share wondering if you would even care

I just need 3 real life friends and I can finally give up this social media gig.

I don't let my age define me, but the side effects are getting harder to ignore.

Something I learned when I was younger . . . take a girl out for dinner before you put her in the trunk.

Sorry, but my reading glasses stay on during sex.

Maybe one sock is ghosting the other sock and it’s really none of our business.

Of course I put my alcohol for the weekend in a seatbelt. I’m not a monster.