Amanda
@mandalikewine.bsky.social
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I'm not really sure at the moment other than researching your grandpappy for answers.
pinned post!
My anaconda don't want none because he was a rescue and is grateful to have a safe and loving home. In a way, he was the one who rescued me.
about 1 year ago
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Jill Krajewski
about 1 year ago
[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.
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My 15yo convinced my 11yo to watch The Fly with him. Apparently she loved it so much she wrote a review.
about 2 years ago
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3 months ago
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Better Things Are Possible
3 months ago
Running for office and revealing a giant back tattoo that just says WOMEN. Nobody can agree if it's good or bad
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josh (oldfriend99)
3 months ago
It's nearly impossible to make a living entertaining children in a sewer since Stephen king's "It"
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3 months ago
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My anaconda don't want none because he was a rescue and is grateful to have a safe and loving home. In a way, he was the one who rescued me.
about 1 year ago
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Amanda
It's Abby. Yep.
9 months ago
The sewage-contaminated water has a chance to do the funniest thing ever
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born miserable
9 months ago
not a hollaback girl, but not yet a hollaback woman
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claim my gift
9 months ago
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Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.
about 1 year ago
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If you can help/share I'd be really grateful.
gofund.me/1f79c12a
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Donate to Help me and the kids keep our heads above water, organised by Amanda Williams
I'm embarrassed to have to ask for help again. As some of you know, th… Amanda Williams needs your support for Help me and the kids keep our heads above water
https://gofund.me/1f79c12a
9 months ago
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If you can help/share I'd be really grateful.
gofund.me/1f79c12a
loading . . .
Donate to Help me and the kids keep our heads above water, organised by Amanda Williams
I'm embarrassed to have to ask for help again. As some of you know, th… Amanda Williams needs your support for Help me and the kids keep our heads above water
https://gofund.me/1f79c12a
9 months ago
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Amanda
always excited to see the first spring bloom
9 months ago
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Amanda
It's Abby. Yep.
10 months ago
can you die of too much news
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Amanda
born miserable
9 months ago
why the fuck didn’t they just call this “CAULIFLOUR”
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leon
9 months ago
“is my calculator horny?“ our tech columnist asks. “i entered 5318008 into it and turned it upside down. what i saw surprised me”
add a skeleton here at some point
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onion person
9 months ago
remembering perhaps the funniest interaction on twitter i’ve ever seen
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I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels.
about 1 year ago
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always excited to see the first spring bloom
9 months ago
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We all need to start making better decisions.
9 months ago
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Amanda
Mark Grimshaw
9 months ago
As Keir Starmer does a “trans women are men” media tour today, I hope people think about that time he invoked the memory of Brianna Ghey in Parliament as part of a gotcha for Rishi Sunak. Abusing her memory for PR whilst plotting to remove the rights she would’ve had to live as herself. He’s sick.
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Dreamweasel
9 months ago
FOX: We are in the midst of a Male Loneliness Epidemic YOUNG DUDE: I am a lonely guy; what should I do? MANFLUENCER: Have you considered acting like a complete entitled asshole YOUNG DUDE: I suppose that suggestion is worth a try FOX: The Male Loneliness Epidemic continues
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Watching an Easter egg hunt is the quickest way to see which kid in the group is going to become a career criminal.
9 months ago
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Imagine how many beer cans Pete Hegseth needed to crush against his forehead to get to this level of stupid.
9 months ago
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Looks like the unqualified amateur is acting like [checks notes] an unqualified amateur.
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/20/u...
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Hegseth Said to Have Shared Attack Details in Second Signal Chat
The defense secretary sent sensitive information about strikes in Yemen to an encrypted group chat that included his wife and brother, people familiar with the matter said.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/20/us/politics/hegseth-yemen-attack-second-signal-chat.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
9 months ago
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I was standing outside and felt a gentle breeze and wanted to say "nice breeze" to someone but I was alone so I imagined Nicolas Cage was there. "Nice breeze" I said, but there was no reply because imaginary Nicolas Cage was too busy running after a dragonfly with an ax.
10 months ago
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Viktor Winetrout
over 1 year ago
Just saw a white guy with dreadlocks crash his unicycle. It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me
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Brian Gaar
10 months ago
Excellent work by new NYT headline writer Werner Herzog
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Viktor Winetrout
10 months ago
I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes
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I was standing outside and felt a gentle breeze and wanted to say "nice breeze" to someone but I was alone so I imagined Nicolas Cage was there. "Nice breeze" I said, but there was no reply because imaginary Nicolas Cage was too busy running after a dragonfly with an ax.
10 months ago
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Amanda
Boomer
10 months ago
I heard there was a secret ooze It turned four turtles into dudes But you don't really care for pizza, do ya? They fought like this, Two swords, a stick A couple sai Some nunchuck tricks Those Ninja boys-a callin Cowabunga
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Happy Mother's Day, UK pals. Here's the painting my 5yo made me of the two of us holding a human heart.
10 months ago
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Amanda
Hotsie🚬Tozzi
over 2 years ago
Got kicked out of the liberry again cuz a couple people complained about my therapy goose Insane Willie.
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My 5yo called me into her room to play for a prize in her arcade penny machine. Bring lots of coins, she said. The big prize: a single smoked almond.
10 months ago
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My 5yo called me into her room to play for a prize in her arcade penny machine. Bring lots of coins, she said. The big prize: a single smoked almond.
10 months ago
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Amanda
still my favourite scene from alien
about 1 year ago
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My home state, always keeping it classy.
add a skeleton here at some point
10 months ago
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Amanda
You know spring is here when you see every dad in the neighbourhood walking in a trance behind a mulch truck.
10 months ago
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Amanda
Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
about 1 year ago
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Me in the national security team group chat
10 months ago
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Just paused at the bit where Aladdin gets crazy with the wireless Hitachi.
10 months ago
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Amanda
Steve Suckington
10 months ago
[texting 911] you up?
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Ygrene
over 1 year ago
starbucks barista: order for cathy lou cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
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The Volatile Mermaid
10 months ago
And Hitler was a painter.
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Me in the national security team group chat
10 months ago
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Amanda
Presented with an eternity of submitting to man, imagine how relieved Eve must have been when God told her she would eventually die.
10 months ago
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