My other boat is me flailing alone in the water no no please don’t help me

My other car is just me walking there

as a sad Los Angelean, it’s not uncommon to feel the slightest tremor- maybe just a garbage door opening- and catch yourself asking, hopefully, “is this the one”

Reluctant to admit how much Metamucil has improved my sex life

But Claude assured me this was a good plan

Yes I’m in hell but I’m getting my steps in

I’ve been off bluksey for ten (10) months, so let’s catch up with some movie reviews: Movies are.. good thanks for following, stay tuned for more

Wow surprise twist at the end of F1- at the very end, F lost !!!

Ten minutes into F1 and Brad Pitt has already said “ka-chow” like twelve times, kinda on the nose

If Brad Pitt’s “F1” is a success, can anyone think of a good name for a sequel? I can’t!

Dumbass here 👋 isn’t taxing the rich bad because they are the batman? think about it 🤔

I’m typically Team Nepo but i can name 5 things both of this twerp’s parents are in. You’re being gatekept by botox? like idk bud have you tried being naturally compelling on camera

we’re all gonna get back on twitter aren’t we

On Letterboxd, I’ve proudly logged and reviewed the movie “F1” on three separate occasions. On Bluesky, I’m willing to admit- with genuine shame- that i actually saw F1 four times. four.

More like Fantastic For me, haha I liked it quite a bit Movies are: … good!

Blessings on this, the second anniversary of Barbenheimer, and a gentle reminder that Barbenheimer ~never ended~ it blazes on in our hearts

Got bong smoke hiccups so bad that I shat my underpants a little. No one can explain why I’ve never remarried

Today was the day Donald Trump finally became an Alan Moore villain

last week I saw Superman and enjoyed it, and all the memes were like “yes, correct, we all agree”. Tonight I saw Eddington and enjoyed it, and all the memes are like “what? Bro. No. Edit your review before someone cool sees”

hey bright side of the Colbert pound of flesh, presumably the skydance/ paramount deal must be nearing approval- could be a lotta value for shareholders. to be clear I am not a ‘shareholder’ I don’t know what that means

Hard to keep up from bluesky posts alone, but it sounds like Gavin Newsome really fucked up at a Coldplay concert lol, well he’s not getting my vote

I follow a handful of journalist for news updates, and an enormous number of mentally unwell people with arts degrees to put that news into proper context for me

yes but do these cookies accept me

Friends, I was skeptical but the Superman movie is great and I hope it has a huge weekend. It’s woke and wacky and at times cringingly sincere- it’s also funny, includes a dog, and the two leads seem pretty hot for each other, which is fun to watch. Movies are: Good

Uhhhh no spoilers but on screen kissing is back

I’m at the Jurassic movie. The woman next to me has been saying “OH GOD” every time a dinosaur is on screen. Large or small, cute or threatening, foreground or background- for every single reptile on screen she says “OH GOD”. Again, I’m at the Jurassic movie, the one about dinosaurs

when you die you get to watch the rest of all the videos you accidentally clicked off of and couldn’t ever find again

this guy was awesome as the baddie in The Surfer, a Nic Cage psych-thriller that came out earlier this year, worth the watch www.theguardian.com/film/2025/ju...

Watch and review Congo (1995) (now streaming on Paramount+) you cowards

If you’re wondering if the dialogue is kind of hard to understand in the new trailer for Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey, folks- the king dont miss

seeing photos of the Bezos/Sanchez thing and I’m so glad I declined that invitation lol

they callen me claude debussey the way i scratched up that asshole im sorry im so sokrry god forgivw me

Wow surprise twist at the end of F1- at the very end, F lost !!!

Ten minutes into F1 and Brad Pitt has already said “ka-chow” like twelve times, kinda on the nose

2F 21

2 Fast 2 Formula

If Brad Pitt’s “F1” is a success, can anyone think of a good name for a sequel? I can’t!

How did people take walks before you could uber home

I think, unfortunately, this kind of still from an adventure movie wedged its way into my being like 30+ years ago and now it’s physically a part of my body? I see this and I’m like “that’s me”. That’s my exact thing, i do that

cuomotion car crash

whooaaa wait Mamdani won? I thought for sure the scrotum faced guy was gonna take it, a rare and welcome L for my cynicism

Just started Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) and who gets chomped in the cold open- It’s Lonni “and what do you sacrifice?” Jung! Haha being into Andor is my entire identity

I cannot *imagine* boiling down a headline about this movie to include only these two names. Truly, I could never be an editor

ME: oh you can call anyone daddy these days. guy, girl, genderless, it all works DENTIST: ok but I’m asking you specifically to not call me that

child custody rap battle

is it banana tell me it's banana

I’ve never cared about Matthew Lillard as an actor but he’s so good in The Life of Chuck that I’m writing a skeet about right now, in the movie

Guys. If you google “Twink and Scoot”, you’ll find this picture, and here’s why; the people in this picture are named Twink and Scoot.

yeah i went to a no king event today. no king boots with your mom