Change one letter, ruin a candy. Marsh bar

It's like a bunch RFK Jr.s are loose.

Even in a one-on-one debate, she’d somehow find a way to finish fifth

they’re called hooves, dummy🙄

when your etymology shitposts don't land:

Mansplaining my own joke to me is a pretty bold move, motherfucker. Particularly if you made it funnier.

an absolute unit

"certified basilisk"

Blair Witch Bespoke Artisanal Crafts

Blair Witch Scrapbooking

"FAB-ri-Cashun ... makin' falsehoods! ... the Fablemeister!"

guys, what are we even doing here

smells like we'en spirit

i'm reading a book about medieval servants persuaded into treachery; it's a real page-turner

this post is in, what I call, freefall.

the smoothest brains are the most confident that they have the right answer Dunning-Kruger would like to have a word

Mood… open.spotify.com/track/1l2WkP...

Subtly downgrade a band Rainbow Kitten Indifference

the microplastics are stored in the ballroom

I’m calling BINGO today for my active older adult client (no dementia or memory loss so don’t say it) as the “celebrity caller” and the saddest thing ever is that they think I’m a local celebrity.

I dedicate this post to the formidable @annabower.bsky.social

Put a book through menopause: The Hotflashers Guide to the Galaxy

Is the make believe out in your area? I keep signing my hand name instead of my puppet name on all my checks

you guys are so chintzy with the dopamine hits here

by the way, everything i ever sent you is off the record you're not a journalist so it's weird saying that but just letting you know

Signal's good enough for the DoD's secure comms so it must be good enough for the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia

A greeting card that says "I'm sorry I pooped on your parade"

* Brings a limerick to a punfight *

no worries mate that'll buff right out

those who repost my silly little posts: I want to kiss you and marry you

#MusicChallenge #KillerTunes 10/20 Chucky – Child’s Play

#MusicChallenge #KillerTunes 10/20 Chucky – Child’s Play 🎶 Devil Doll youtu.be/M2w7vIZtrCw

All sex can be casual if you end it with a fist bump

him: release the poop jet them: don't you mean release the hounds? him: do as i say!

exhibit a of “has never been a reporter” www.nytimes.com/2025/10/19/b...

Without downloading anything new, where are you mentally right now?

when you've lost Col. Sanders

🏆 @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social

my compost brings all the raccoons to the yard

Sell the kids for food

batten your Hatch Act!

plenty of good reasons to block the gov't Bluesky accounts but protecting your information is definitely not one of them

Help the hamburger, Charlie Brown

"The Andrew formerly known as Prince"

Pumpkin Spice Lutefisk

My 84 year old grandma wants to go to a protest tomorrow 🥹

i kinda wish we could hear what Bernie Mac thinks of things right now