wondering if trump’s venezuela adventure was pure and simple reaction to the peace prize — “that’s what they care about? i’ll do it better and then they have to give it to me!”

Haha love (some) Seurat and also thought some of the rural landscapes in that show were beautiful eg

By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪

i don’t know how to explain about triggers and emotional flashbacks, how when certain things get brought up and i start to cry uncontrollably and say we can’t talk about this, i need people to be gentle and reassuring, not get defensive and want to have a serious debate about whether i’m being fair

yeah i’m winning

i’m picturing a romantic encounter — inviting him up to her hotel room, charcuterie board on the bed, already in silk pj’s — which goes horribly wrong when jesus sees she has FOUR copies of his torture/execution device displayed on her neck “what the fuck woman, why would you even do that”

Being less vulnerable to dissociation is better & safer when it comes to making decisions & processing memories-- and it's also intimidating as f*ck, having to actually be present for feelings & needs to which we've been consciously numb for years. No need to deny it.

the thing i hated the most about being pressed into boyhood was the whole enjoy-violence and never-be-sensitive expectation i am gentle. and easily scared. with very big emotions. i cry with empathy for the littlest hurt anyone suffers, and i love sweetness and romance, and my life was fucking hard

argh i’m enjoying this romance novel now EXCEPT for the bits where the jealous ex makes life miserable for other people stirring up conflict i think i want a gentler problem, comedy of errors, misinterpreted cues at worst kind of drama

slightly diminish a band the lightly used pornographers

potential discourse starter: so which national cuisine is the most ~autistic~?

aaaaaaaaaaa too much stimulation and big feelings about facing up to the fact that i’m disabled and can’t guarantee i can do some things for my family any more

we saw avatar 3 and … it was pretty? but 1.5h too long, and felt utterly unnecessary, telling exactly the same story as the first two with the same beats and barely any new visuals, just turning up the racism even more

this features prominently on my “survival” playlist, to be blasted on the stereo or just recalled to memory when i need a boost of “yes i have serious unfixable troubles but dammit i am going to live anyways”

i am not despondent-bleak about it today, more just intensely frustrated, but goddammit needing to still wait a year-ish for bottom surgery??? aaaaaaarghhh

Dsatur is a nice little tweak to the obvious greedy algorithm (colour the vertices one by one, each time selecting the lowest colour index not taken by its already-coliured neighbours), with a dynamic ordering of the vertices: each step, choose the vertex with the greatest number of adjacent colours

hey it’s saturday, which is a great day to learn about the d-satur algorithm and graph colouring in general!

managed to do my vocal practice. the empty house makes it so much easier, but for the past week i was still too ashamed even when on my own, so i am feeling like i've done really well 🥰

no man is an island, but *eowyn voice* i am no man!

psa: before getting up from sitting, always check if an ewok has secretly snuck onto your lap

every time i see an account with “no dms” in their bio i roll my eyes just a little more, please just adjust your settings?

saw my own petard talking to a crane operator and then they both turned and looked at me, not great

Here is a video of a frozen creek that had begun to thaw, and the water was flowing beneath the thin ice on top. I took this because it was soothing and wonderfully bloopy and I wanted to listen to it for hours. You are all welcome to enjoy it, too. Let your brain settle here and rest for a moment.

The periodic table mapped according to lickability

you expect me to wipe my mouth on a … napkin after eating?? ugh, no, i require a mouth bidet

what a great day in the end except now i am spiralling over the stupidest thing, my wife cutting me off when i was beginning to share something vulnerable because she had to look at movie times, but then i never quite understood when it was okay to resume speaking after she was done, so i didn’t 🙃

you expect me to wipe my mouth on a … napkin after eating?? ugh, no, i require a mouth bidet

saw the first episode of The Pitt, seems great my wife was worried if i’d be okay with the degloved foot gore. that actually didn’t phase me at all, it was the sound of the woman crying that freaked me out

new word of the year dropped

there have got to be a bunch of strippers with the stage name Pandora, right?

it’s a catchy song with a great opening, albeit a weak ending, but, um, sam roberts? those ages are … not okay

actually i bring an umbrella with me unirregardless of the forecast

dammit “wise mind”, making me choose cautious sensible courses of action instead of taking a risk on something i want to do (a dance workshop on sunday) that could go awry (bumping into my old therapist)

hugging your wife after she gets off the phone with the doctor who said no sign of cancer is like the best feeling

wow it is now so very very obvious that my big mobility restriction is hinging forward at the hips (as opposed to bending at the lower back). i can barely fold forward _at all_ not that i’m anywhere close to athletic, per se, but once that is unlocked a bit i am going to feel so much more capable

when you’re too sweaty from exercise and have to take off your dress which catches just the right wisp of hair to pull free 😍

a whole lot of scary things went well today, an imperial fucktonne of relief, even if i am still quite adrenalized

looks like testicles are back on the menu, boys

it’s really hard to make new habits i can stick to and make a part of my routine when i can be thrown off for a week or more by one difficult event that makes me too ashamed to do new things for myself but i think i might be able to manage a flexibility workout again tonight!

fyi this is a PRO (QUEER) ROMANCE NOVEL account it is a fucking awesome genre, with the whole gamut of quality / depth / fun like any other category of fiction yes i place jane austen in the romance category

okay, i’m through the really difficult (for me) bit about anxiety and lying to avoid being seen as pathetic/weird/hopeless and then possibly getting caught in the lie and now the novel is a good satisfying lesbian romance again 😊 this is the 3rd in a series — i liked the 1st, don’t have the 2nd

some real good news here 😊

began to have conversations with my wife about the experience of avpd which is mostly a relief with a hope for more understanding of my behaviour, maybe compassion even, but also touched on some <yikes!> moments so i am vibrating with anxiety now

haha so the avoidant part makes me too afraid to open up to my wife about the horrors i am going through, but then ocpd rules say that it would be Morally Wrong of me to contact my therapist for extra support when i haven’t even been open enough to tell her i need that support ain’t life swell

oh but mr. bond, i assure you it *is* a significant part of my beeswax

oh but mr. bond, i think that you will find i am actually _quite_ rubbery and it is you who are covered in glue

i’m just three personality disorders in a trauma coat

Lunar night https://www.wikiart.org/en/ivan-aivazovsky/lunar-night-1862

in this novel one of the main characters’ anxiety disorder ruined her hookup with the other main character, but when her friends congratulate her for connecting with such a gorgeous woman and ask if she’s going to keep dating, she lies “yes” to avoid admitting that her mental illness struck again