dance today involved contact with partners, switching regularly, and it was fascinating to see how different each person’s conception of what kind and degree of physical touch is right i tried mostly to match whoever i was dancing with, but really enjoyed the few who were happy to do _more_

i automatically distrust/discount anyone who unironically describes themselves or soldiers (and especially police) as warriors that’s like a d&d class, not a thing in the real world

math is hard. let’s go … DO MORE MATH ✨😊🔥

every now and then i have to remind myself that many things i find extremely daunting or downright terrifying are no big deal for my kids, and they don’t need my help or suggestions of alternatives (like driving and finding parking somewhere unfamiliar and busy in the city)

i basically only have one eye makeup style, but i’m so happy with it i may never change

ads for private healthcare companies, in canada, really give me the ick 🥺

hospital chic

oh i NEEDED that dance class

if my hair would just stay piled up on my head like this, without having to hold it there, that would be ✨❤️🧚

in adhd news, i took out my meds this morning, briefly got distracted and discovered i had forgotten about the zoom meetings i have every single thursday morning (though i remembered to inject), made my apologies, and now i’m only 60% confident i actually took my adhd meds a minute ago

“passing would mean you’re back in the closet” is not actually a take i expected to read

looking at plots i am sure there must be an integrating factor or *something* magical to reduce this second order ode to first order (for my specific restriction on initial conditions) but dammit finding whatever it is feels like black magic

just the phrase “tonsil hockey” warms up my gag reflex. most things need to stay at the FRONT of the mouth

ugh. i just had the unfortunate reminder that to get a cube root in TeX you have to use \sqrt[3]{...}

i made myself take a walk outside and in five minutes i had a beautiful new insight on this differential equation, a kind of self-similarity between solutions i am hopeful I can exploit, and that only now seems obvious

woman on the verge of her 20th? 30th? nervous breakdown woman thinking wistfully of having another nervous breakdown woman looking at the verge of a nervous breakdown receding in the distance

i feel like the anti-transsexual discourse, whether it’s just a gentle bias against medical care or full-blown “let feminine boys just be feminine” transphobia, seems fixated on teens and twenty-something twinks and ignores aging, e.g. testosterone-fuelled hair loss, how much harder it is when old

about to make the executive decision that my life is Too Much right now to also be dealing with facial hair electrolysis; i can get back to it one day when things are easier

okay, the plan today is try to do a bit more self-care but also housework but ALSO grind out the last bit of this wild math at work AND spend a good long time at the hospital and get more rest in

ew ew ew ewwww what the fuck is wrong with people like this?? i know so many instances of transphobia just breaking someone’s brain, but i still do not understand it

trans woman: (exists) straight man: ah hah! this is because she wants to have sex with me gay male atlantic columnist: that's not fair, i should get to have sex with it

i did overhear one of my kids say to a friend something to the effect that i don’t give simple answers, i give ten minute lectures 😬 BUT COME ON they’re asking kids in elementary school what phase of matter “fire” is!?? Most adults don’t even know what fire is

speaking as a transsexual woman, damn it i need to do more voice training

this year in canada and the us, international women’s day is only 23 hours long, and wow what a symbolic statement that makes

“jesus, take the wheel!” he cried and lo! the lord answered abundantly, taking all four wheels, the stereo and verily the catalytic converter too

reminding myself as i walk past bars full of laughing people that i don’t get to have that life, i’m just a mental patient

this year in canada and the us, international women’s day is only 23 hours long, and wow what a symbolic statement that makes

i am really not a fan of mtf and ftm abbreviations, aside from queasiness about a focus on the past and binaries, partly because my brain easily mixes them up when reading but also “ftm” evokes “fem” and somehow “read the fucking manual” while “mtf” makes me think of montreal and metro systems

surgery is a success, my wife is awake 😊

also, i think the stats show close to half of trans women are not attracted to men at all

still a little sad how when i mentioned to my sister i can’t imagine travelling to the us (for a work conference this summer) she blithely said that yes, of course she’s boycotting the us too except for that disneyland vacation they had to do for family— just 100% unaware of trans concerns. 😕

this morning i unexpectedly walked past the mental health wing of the hospital (the first i ever spent time in, but just for a few hours post-attempt) and i was pleasantly surprised not to feel any undue anxiety / flashbacks

on the bright side i thought i solved the problem that has been aggravating me at work for over a week now, but then turns out i’m still not quite done

now enjoying that favourite old game: is the surgeon not calling because he’s busy, because the surgery is taking a lot longer than expected, or not getting through because my mobile phone service is bad

i just realized the two times i saw my dad vulnerable — hurt, powerless — it actually traumatized me (especially the secondary lightning strike) which might be one factor in me having a really hard time being openly vulnerable with our kids

waiting in surgical intake, but it’s for my wife not me

@rikiwilchins.bsky.social 2026 Mar 3 StrengthInNumbers New polling on strong “framing effect” of trans issues. Should minors be able to get GAC? Opposed 57-28% net -29% Should minors be be able to get doctor-recommended GAC after diagnosis. Supported 44-28%, net +16% That's a 45% swing.

counting on this being an elaborate dream from which i will wake

aurora: disappointing mental health professionals since 2004

there are two types of people in the world: x-15 fans versus sr-71 fans obviously i am the former

Wow I should not have named my dog after my social security number

all of today’s selfies have a definite soupçon of “mr potato head”, like yes there are eyes nose mouth hair ears and so forth glued on to this head but do they really fit?

airdropping footwear, so as to fulfill boots on the ground with no casualties

the recently transitioned experience of looking back at photos from a year ago and cringing how bad your fashion sense and makeup and hair and all were

i wish i didn’t like people so much

At least 20% of the death toll is elementary school girls www.yahoo.com/news/article...

i am really just out of it right now, i should be frustrated with progress at work, should be scared about tomorrow, should be sad about a lot of things and yet it’s all just distant whispers

cried a lot through therapy, never even talked about most of what’s been going on, but i have reassurance on one day starting to make measurable progress against avpd just not in the next month or two starting tomorrow when i’m most in need of a supportive close person who isn’t my wife

sighhhhh i do not like dissociating that hard in therapy

this may sound crazy, but i get the sense that some people — including those in very powerful positions — don’t view all human beings on earth as equally valuable humans, and maybe don’t even care if some entire groups suffer and die