bzzzt wrongo there's a power of them at Edinburgh Zoo and they used to just let them cut about the place once a day

Legit question for fellow Scots, how do I drink through the 30-50 feral Hogmanays that run into my kitchen within 3-5 mins while my wife pours a wine

ME: (first day practicing Bug Law) May it please the Court— BUG JUDGE: (sternly) Bug Court.

A drawing of Goku making love to Spider-Man isn't the opposite of art, this garbage is

A friend once said to me that sausage dogs were trained to go down into badger setts and they don't do that any more and they're very angry about it

Well That's Christmas ruined

I personally think that Wes Streeting should be [removed at lawyer's request] fucking wood chipper

Why I Left The Left: In Stalin's Russia, Almost No-One Was Drinking Hot Dog Water

gimme yule gimme fire don me now with gay attire

Me: Looks alright to me My ancient Sumerian roommate: 𒈗𒆠 𒅖𒈨𒌦 𒄑 𒀭𒊏𒁲𒉡𒀭𒊏𒁲 Me: Well how was I supposed to know, I've never bought copper before.

That didn't seem very Responsible.

when I see a certain pygmy

one of the best dog behaviors in the mischief trot. head low. little nails going chucka chucka chucka chucka. monkey business afoot.

How many older journalists and papers look back at their role whipping up hatred against gay people like me in the 80's and 90's with pride and a sense they did right? Very few. So what do *you*, today's journos and papers, think your prospects are after re-running same campaign against trans folk?

I will NOT watch the goals again today . (expression of stony resolve softening, warm smile spreading across face) Ah what the hell. Get that McLean lob up brother

Can we have one Scotland international game that doesn't take years off my life please

Aye that'll do it

Mekboy Makes a Shoota

This is what Porco Rosso shoots down in the opening sequence of 2 Wind 2 Rises

Me and the six other people who liked the Steam Controller are hooting and hollering right now

All the Epstein emails are powerful elites saying shit like “Hello my friend the pedophile, i need your advice as a pedophile, what do you think about this other pedophile? Pedophilic Regards, your Friend ;)” and instead of swinging from a gibbet most of them are still writing op-eds against leftism

notably he stole this idea from the slap drones in the Culture books. if you calculate the walking time from Scotland to Texas under the ocean you should be able to work out when Iain Banks' wrathful revenant will make it to him.

this one is for me and like maybe 5 other people

being accidentally subscribed to ubisoft's live service for longer than 4 months should qualify me for a french passport

Liu Bei when his pet strategist 'invents' a wheelbarrow:

Customer: LIVE FREE DMV: LIVE WEAPONS OVER FREEWAY Verdict: Accepted

it's called "gross pay" bc it's gross that you don't actually get all of that money

It's Aesop Rock and I don't think it's close

They should invent a Scotland team that doesn't take 35 minutes to wake up

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

Vizier

ME: Come on, man, I know you’ve got it around here somewhere. I just want to see what it’s like. MUSTACHE MUSEUM GUIDE: I’m not supposed to show anyone. ME: It’s just for research purposes. I’m gonna put it right back. GUIDE: Fine, through this door. Right past Burnside. NO. PICTURES.

*Hideo Kojima game set during the Somme* Colonel: Tommy. This is Trench Footman. He'll be your guide when you need to patch yourself up. TF: You're holding the Synergised Hypodermic Epinephrine Limbic Loadout, or SHELL. Press R1 to use SHELL to cure SHOCK. Tommy: SHOCK?

One time I was at a bar in Prague and Johnny Cash was sitting next to a couple of huge guys who fell off their stools. He tried to help them but couldn’t, so I reached down with one arm and pulled them both up. Johnny asked “the hell are you doing?” and I said “righting Czechs your ass can’t, Cash”

One brain cell but at least he's pretty.

Fuck it, Bug Dimmadome

They sent a guy to remove it but no matter how fast he ran be could never overtake it

I always forget pineapples grow like this and think it's a joke at first

I don't know how many more times I can see his giant melon head guys honestly

They should do one of those strip club lap dance rooms but you go in there and it’s just two bearded guys and they do a podcast just for you

look, it doesn't matter if the night-night man isn't real. a number of voters have very real concerns that the night-night man is waiting under their beds ready to eat them as soon as mommy and daddy say night-night and you need to have a plan to address those concerns regardless

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

I'm starting to think the remedy for Andrew Tate might be Jason Pargin. The young men in his books are so believably written and, frequently, complete dickheads, but it's always hammered home that being a dickhead and not trying to be better is so much worse.

New Naked Gun movie: Very stupid, has a sentence so stupid in it I said "what?" out loud without fully knowing I was verbalizing anything, less than 90 minutes, AKA a fucking delight. Mostly posting about it because I hope they make more zero-stakes comedies like this.

I love my miniature dachshund but she is an affront to God that simply should not be.