suit in the booth , we just don't have that drip anymore

we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)

In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies. I have translated some of the highlights

Tulip boom may falter if you don't buy enough tulips says tulip salesman

I don't think this is a new type of guy

trump 2019: i barely knew him. a lot of people knew him much better than i did. but he was a creep. trump 2026: we can clone jeffery and i think we will. i do. you take some of the DNA and a tube and bing there's a new jeffery. i don't see why we wouldn't.

Cortex's minions pleading with Crash Bandicoot

Brother look at the state of the congressional Democrat party ffs

Don't really get how Badenoch as an aloof, abrasive person who's also non white thinks she in anyway would get on better with trump

The two pizza rule? what the fuck are you on about

Say what you like about heated rivalry but the wolf parade song central to it's plot is a banger

because they tried to treat a mad vindictive king like a rational actor

The absorption of "rawdogging" into the language as a term divorced from its specific original meaning is a stain on us all. Please, I do not ever want to hear about any of you rawdogging a baked potato

I’m afraid it’s impossible to believe this policy has failed, because we were all very loudly and repeatedly assured that they had played a blinder

Meta trying to understand British humour will never not be funny.

“The truth always lies somewhere in the middle” has to be one of my least favorite phrases. Sometimes, one side is actually truthful and one side is actually malicious and lying!

[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable

I’m doing dry January (a month of straight faced, witty observational posts, delivered with minimal effort)

The Home Secretary, at a time of rising right-wing anti-government conspiracism: "The key to my plans is the design of prisons in the 18th century. I learned all about it while reading a book called 'Discipline & Punish', by a French philosopher. Please ignore our party's 1% approval rating BTW".

Maybe it would be better if the Home Secretary's soundbites didn't sound like they were being delivered to James Bond strapped in a chair?

‘self harm content’ she was fucking murdered

posting a joke about politics is generally a 50/50 shot between “accepted by the audience for which it was intended” and “you have been featured on the dreaded discover feed.” the Japesman’s Gambit

One of the greatest political memes I’ve ever seen. Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere

*scouring Bluesky for mentions of Starmer in order to defend his honour because actually I'm no great fan of the man*

The ultimate

TRUMP: Trump Nobel Peace Prize. Practical Trump world award NORWEGIAN PM: No, Trump. We can't give you a Nobel Peace Prize. TRUMP: Good prize good Trump give terrific Trump deserve president NORWEGIAN PM: Trump, we simply can’t award you a Nobel Peace Prize. We have no role in it. TRUMP: jealousy PM

Thinking about if that lad had steadier aim

Seriously now. Are the Starmer Ultras not fucking embarrassed? He's called a press conference - deliberately timed so Trump would be asleep - glazed him, confirmed he'll do nothing to retaliate and used the whole thing to attack Davey and Polanski and its not even landed

Sorry if you are using the potential invasion of Greenland to try and par off zach polanski you're not a serious person

Not a serious person

When you accidentally become important at work

Getting referred to HR for misinterpreting Blue Monday

I feel like America plotting to annex Greenland while masked state goons terrorise their own communities at will should encourage British press and politicians to reflect on what happens when you act like "far right" is an unfair slur rather than a necessary descriptor of a real political position.

Considering it is Monday morning I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace.

Yeah that's the stuff

Morocco need to respond by taking the team off for little bit

"I missed it on purpose, obviously. Ignore my tears, that's unrelated"

*Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Voice* Our house is a very large , castle like house

This is the worst thing I’ve ever read

Oh worth pointing out this is because the SNP led Glasgow city council wants to take ownership of the buses and they hope Labour will stop it

[every news article about Trump] Opening para: Trump's recent policy decision has experts scratching their heads Quote from Trump: yeah I did it so I could get more money. I love taking money for me and my friends Closing para: and so the argument will continue as to Trump's aims

He lives in a house, a castle-like house in the Highlands

QTs feel like resentment at trump handing polanski a very easy and effective public line on this argument that corbyn never had. reshaping european politics in ways people defending the status quo can’t control like he did a year ago to canadian politics.

advertisements should not be allowed to have audio. theyve abused the privilege of sound