Great Lake Sunrise. #Toronto #LakeOntario #WoodbineBeach #TheBeaches #Sunrise #Photography

We really are about three natural disasters away from the return of human sacrifices to appease the gods.

You lost me at ''only salad''

Philomena Cunk and Zac Galifianakis doing an episode of Between Two Ferns would fix me.

Nobody has ever sent me a holographic image saying I’m their only hope, and it shows.

Some real-life biblical shit out there today!

I'm sorry but this is god's will *punches you in the face*

I’m 80% nice, 10% curmudgeon, and 18% Mathematician.

My new year's resolution? None, they never work.

A soft landing is all anyone ever asks for.

she wore a raspberry beret the kind you find in a

Tiny House videos fall into that porn category of things that I don’t necessarily see myself doing but I don’t mind watching.

That all consuming stuff ain't nothing to play with.

The frigate bird is my favorite bird that sounds like a guy finally giving up after spending hours trying to install new brake pads in his Ford Explorer

Leslieville Gold. #Toronto #Leslieville #Photography

I don’t know a thing about horse racing but that’s not gonna stop me from putting liniment on my flanks this afternoon

I should’ve had some in ibuprofen with breakfast

Improve a movie with “fuck” The Fuck

Friends seem to think I’m a bit wild. But I just like to think of it as I’m taking a more scenic route through life

*quietly escorts new followers back across the tracks to political bluesky*

Ahhh slept in it's so nice to feel safe and snug let's check the news

Bit of a thaw today. Seems like only yesterday we were all out on the ice roasting an ox and kicking each other’s shins

"love is a cattlefield." cows, probably.

Inside I’m screaming with anxiety, but to everyone else, I’m just starring in a silent film.

It’s so dry in my place that all I can write is British humour

Welcome to the witching hour. Your insomnia is very important to us. At the tone, please scream incoherently.

I can be fascinated with cheese.

I’m assuming that after you pump up the jam it must be refrigerated.

Good evening

Lazy scientists announce there are probably several kinds of squirrels but they move too fast to be sure

I think I need to get into the ocean again.

chasing my dreams today via naps

If I lay in bed too long I start hearing Barenaked Ladies' Brian Wilson song.

I didn’t realize I was supposed to be social on social media

Good morning.

Amateurs. I tie conifers to the roof of my car every day of the year.

If my best years are behind me I'm not prepared for the ones to come fuuuuuuuck

Just received a strongly worded letter from my pancreas.

Ba dum...

Dahlink, the legs aren't so beautiful. I just know what to do with them. -Marie Magdalene Dietrich 🎂

364 days until Christmas for those that celebrate

Just used my hand to flip a quesadilla on the hot pan. Am I an abuela now?