5. YOUR MUM #MondayMotivaton

Trump really is a loathsome cunt.

End the negativity Stop the misogyny Give praise where due

Hello, I’m an 18-wheeler exiting off a highway and promptly running a red light. And this is why you look both ways before crossing an intersection, folks.

Pv vvvvvbhvvbbbbbbvbhn. Buvbhuvnu buvnv nuv uvihbv hvhnv hvhnvhnhh vhnbnhv hh nvh nvvv vvnbnvv hnnvvnvvhnbnhvnh nnhuhnvhnbbbhnbhb by Bbb. By Bnnnb. H H B * Things I pocket text.

So turnip abducts the Venezuelan president for alleged drug trafficking, after just pardoning the Honduran president for confirmed drug trafficking. America is not a serious country.

👏👍😆 Deal with scammers using #Skyrim quotes

We foisted this eejit on the Brits as payback for 800 years of occupation. Harsh, I know. Source: BBC search.app/LErGP

The difference between Superman & me: He has super vision I need supervision #FridayFuckology

Sorry but I don't answer private numbers Or numbers that I don't know Or anyone, ever Also, don't call me #FridayFuckology

Ha! I must try that one with Jeff Bezos's rocket boosters.🤣🚀 All I need is a few million cats. 😁🐱💩

I just replaced my cat litter box with an Amazon box Now when it's full I just tape it shut and put it on my porch for someone to steal #FridayFuckology

To all the blokes that got their girlfriends or wives lingerie for Christmas On behalf of all of her male Instagram followers, cheers, we like it! #FridayFuckology

Remember, Christmas is over If you sit on a stranger’s lap now and ask for stuff, it's because you're a whore #FridayFuckology

You can always tell if a guy wanks a lot by looking at his hands If you look closely, you will see a wedding ring #FridayFuckology

Hi I'm pneumonia.

Be the piece of shit you want to be Not the piece of shit everyone thinks you are #FridayFuckology

Our managers brought in a motivational speaker to encourage us to do better He said, "It's very important to say what you feel" I said, "Fuck you!" #FridayFuckology

Happy Public Domain Day!

I'll take it!

🤩

This fuck needs to be McKinley'd... Source: Politico search.app/GDhZp

Time for my favorite albums of 2025. There's 10 this year instead of the usual 5 because some were too close to call. #AlbumTOP10...

Those of you out there Attempting to compose haiku For fuck sake, stop it.

Can't believe it's nearly next year! #NewYear2026

Astronauts at home be like “babe, just gimme some space”

The navy history buff in me *loves* the Fisher reference.

None of this is a simulation until morale improves, or whatever. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/202...

Tell him what we did here in Canada, we told him to stick his manky chicken up his hole. #ElbowsUp

Nothing could better sum up where we are as a culture

Errrr, I don’t think this works for me.

How I'm walking out of 2025

Merry Festivus to all who celebrate 'er whatever #Lego

Search your first name then 'glamour shot' and post a photo Check out my fuckin' rack! 😃 Just glad I'm worth a length tbh 😏

If you like a lot of profit and no chocolate on your biscuit join our Club.

I think its about time we start putting blame where its due, those damn dirty elves

Anyone actually shocked 😳 ? This behaviour is NOT what a Patriot would do.

Relationship Tip: if you have a GF or wife and she hears a noise outside at night but is too scared to go look, just say, "I told that girl to leave me alone" She will always get up and check for you #FridayFuckology