I know I said it was done talking about it, but now I'm laughing to myself imagining all those guys trying to run in their giant clown shoes last night.

I agree that there's no place for political violence, which is why I think we need to abolish ICE and the CPB.

this is america. you could find yourself within 100yds of a shooting at any time, in any place. school, the grocery store, a movie theater, a block party, a public park… it happens to regular people every day. but this week we’ll get 50+ weepy op-eds because it happened to the guys who write op-eds

Truly the only place I would sit back down to dinner after shots were fired is a Waffle House.

Who would rather see baby goats playing than talk about this shit anymore?

When radioactivity was discovered, there was a rush to market for all sorts of radioactive consumer goods. There were water jugs made out of uranium glass, for example. I think about that a lot these days whenever I see AI products being marketed to consumers.

every few months, americans are asked to resume their banquet and pretend a shooting didn't just happen

Truly the only place I would sit back down to dinner after shots were fired is a Waffle House.

The best way to be accurately informed about tonight’s events is to log off for the next 12 hours or so … and I’m going to follow my own advice

So as I understand the situation, shots either were or were not fired and someone either is or is not dead and the range of outcomes are “someone dropped a plate” to “the president was assassinated.” The instant 24 hour news cycle was a mistake.

Millennial girls who grew up watching Iron Will (1994) and Balto (1995), how's your recreational sled dog team doing? #uglydogs

As Philadelphia's postmaster and then postmaster general of the colonies, Franklin turned mail delivery into a 24-hour operation and used it as a means to spread the word of the American Revolution.

If you're a trans person based in Austin (or elsewhere in Texas for that matter) and have struggled to access gender-affirming care due to changes in insurance coverage OR because of trans healthcare bans at Catholic-owned medical centers, please reach out. DM or email kitoconnell at pobox dot com.

Trans visibility is more than being seen. It is sharing real stories and data, and uplifting trans- and gender-expansive young people. 🏳️‍⚧️💚 💰 Selected storytellers will receive a $100 USD honorarium ✨ Learn more: www.channelkindness.org/trans-visibi... 🗓 Deadline: May 1 at 11:59 PM ET

I have changed my preferred first name and pronouns multiple times at work and everybody just...adapts. I feel very privileged and do NOT take this for granted, but just sharing as proof that decent humans are, in fact, capable of this.

Feeling very transmasc with my new haircut! I love being genderfluid! Rules are for losers!

🚨🚨🚨 SINGLE OCCUPANCY GENDER INCLUSIVE BATHROOMS AT MOYNIHAN STATION IN NYC ARE NOW UNLOCKED AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL A HOTLINE TO OPEN THEM 🚨🚨🚨

Missed the SEPTA home so hanging out a nearby bar watching Phillies vs Cubs. I hate when my wives fight

sleep well tonight every body* *except the penguin

i don’t k ow why i felt it necessary to do this

I have changed my preferred first name and pronouns multiple times at work and everybody just...adapts. I feel very privileged and do NOT take this for granted, but just sharing as proof that decent humans are, in fact, capable of this.

No Quiet Car signage at either end of my Keystone train, so apparently women really can't have it all

🚨🚨🚨 SINGLE OCCUPANCY GENDER INCLUSIVE BATHROOMS AT MOYNIHAN STATION IN NYC ARE NOW UNLOCKED AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL A HOTLINE TO OPEN THEM 🚨🚨🚨

Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want is a transmasc anthem; don't @ me I'm too tired to fight you

NYC, I missed you.

Are you a disabled person caring for another disabled person or an older adult? Want to talk to a journalist about it? Please DM or email sluterman at 19thnews dot org.

Why don't coffee shops offer cardboard sleeves on their iced drinks? The ones for paper cups don't fit. Are all y'all really out there holding on to an icy cold cup that's sweating and getting slippery without complaining??? Will never be me

happy birthday to the OG MILF #HappyEarthDay (fanart of @sarahmackattack.bsky.social zine character, get more hot Earth facts from Sarah!)

The number of healthcare workers standing on this platform waiting on an early train into the city while actively smoking or vaping is GRIM

FRESH SLED BLOBS

hot date idea: you come over and help me fold laundry while I cry

Because some comments make me think people missed the PSAs I do semi-regularly: if you were born before 1987, you should get a MMR booster now. The second childhood dose of MMR wasn't added until 1989, and folks who were older than 2 (the age for the 2nd) may not have gotten it.

hot date idea: you come over and help me fold laundry while I cry

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

PM folks: Do I know any librarians at New York Public Library? Please DM me. I've got a question!

Alright Philadelphia, this is a city-wide alert! We have an event this Wednesday that you're not gonna want to miss. We've got babes, rain barrels, drag queens, native plants, a diversity of butts, and trees! At 254 (in center city!) doors 7, show 8 Get tickets here: biodiversitease.eventbrite.com

Someday, with luck and hard work, she will have a name too.

Child: I know your name. Mamdani. Obama: What’s his first name? Child: Mayor.

Riding the NYC subway with my extremely smiley firstborn was a great way to witness the inherent goodness of humanity. I remember a very tough looking gentleman shaking his head and muttering “I guess I’m having a good day today“ after my infant son beamed at him

THE BACKPACKS

Breaking: HHS’s ban on gender-affirming care is struck down. Rarely have I read a ruling this sharply worded. “This case is one of a long list of examples of how a leader’s wanton disregard for the rule of law causes very real harm to very real people.” www.advocate.com/politics/nat...

A VCR never sold my private info to a nazi

"Effective immediately, Fisher-Price will exit the 'child development toy' vertical and re-emerge as Mattel·igence AI Defense Systems, a fully integrated autonomous weapons manufacturer focused on AI-enabled lethality solutions for the modern battlefield. Our stock is up 4000%."

if you’ve never endured period poops you absolutely should not be able to vote, some things just require life experience

My family said goodbye to Zinc today 🧡 2012-2026

this is fucking unreal stuff from Noah Wyle on the magic of The Pitt. www.gq.com/story/noah-w...

My employer gives everyone a bonus paid day off for our birthday. We can swap it for a nearby date instead if we want.

Oh you’re Catholic and you disagree with the Pope? Maybe you should make a list of all the things you disagree with. Really dig deep, make it a nice long list. 95 seems like a good number. And then post that list somewhere he can see it, like maybe nailed to a church door.