never buy samsung

Nine-year-old emperor watching his scheming advisors: "This is a eunuchs system. I know this."

everyone is enamored with my chitinous exoskeleton

This is also my reaction when I learn I'm going to have lunch with 4 trans women

performing standup is active time battles whereas shitposting is turn based

show me what that tongue does... (tongue starts doing scary, unsettling shit) okay okay you can stop showing me what it does now jesus christ oh my god

Sometimes I get vision of what is probably a common viewpoint but to me is a mental equivalent of poison dart frog coloring. Foreign and unnatural

my least woke opinion is zzzzz zzzzzzzz honk shoo mimimimi

Reheated some chili for lunch

Getting the holly jolly sparkler drink at Hardee’s. I asked for a sparkler and the order taker went “YOU WANT THE HOLLY JOLLY?” and I said yes.

Might get out of this tire replacement appointment too early to get lunch from Hardee’s. My life is such a burden

passing people in the hallway at work, pointing to my airpods and stating “I’M LISTENING TO SLAYER” at an inappropriate indoor volume.

Sci fi book title: Weeping, As the Evening was Aurora. Climatologist sees lights like way down east coast so he immediately starts to make a library that will withstand the incoming chaos.

I would never poison a mufo #vows #honor #oaths

WOW I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE

Okay Pete

Fort St. JOHN'S BC Canada tonight

HMMMM

I think I’d go lightly insane if the sky was turning colors above me.

I love that we’re all sky posting. Easily the most vivid red I’ve ever seen 📍Central MN

Trying my best to edit these down close to how it looks to my eyes instead of the phone

Yooooo

The sky from my parents' house

What does it sound like when a person with a Boston accent says “Aurora”

Horrible HORRIBLE realisation that had not previously occurred to me: attempting to teach children to read with the "three cueing" pedagogy is actually a lot like asking them to behave like LLMs

I just managed to ask my ex wife if it was ok to take our kids to my wedding and she’s cool with it and now I have to ask the kids if they want to go but I feel like I’ve just navigated a minefield and can’t relax

an mq-9 reaper has the chance to do the funniest thing

Enjoying this Sacrilegion/Dungeon Serpent split. MeloDM hellllll yeaaaaaah sewerrotrecords1.bandcamp.com/album/spectr...

Lentil, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.

Jurassic Park. I loved reading that at 10 years old and then my sister finding The Lost World for me. I hadn’t known that books could have sequels before.

keep HONKING i have HEARING DAMAGE from the HARSH NOISE SHOW

All Tits Are Real All Borders Are Fake

I was totally unaware of Pluribus before it came out and I’m really enjoying it. This is how it used to be.

Apology for the lib out about JCO but I am imagining her with her back to Musk. A soft rustle is heard as Oates cleans her rapier before resheathing it. He has a hole through his superior vena cava.

My copy of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (watching it to prep for the new one) is 13 gigs. lol

treasure every time ur dick is sucked, you never know when it will be ur last

i will never apologize for posting through it on a twitter app. to me that would be like apologizing to the toilet for shitting in it

Things rapidly started decaying when young men started making podcasts instead of starting metal bands

I’ve listened to this like 5 times in the past 3 days. Really enjoy it. The first track reminds me of @gonemage.bsky.social I hear the DHG and a bit of Melechesh/greek black metal. There’s a song too where the guitars are tuned by the Suffering Hour dudes

⁉

What is with this weather

I’m writing a romcom where a Jewish baker moves to West Virginia to open his bakery. He falls in love with the guy who runs the general store. It’s called “Challah in the holler”

hey buddy i’m at the intersection where mustard meets ham meets cheddar meets tomato

Baja Blast jellied cranberry sauce would fucking rip I bet

Downside to cooking late is the cooling time.