NEWS! Sauron joins Reform, vows to fix "broken Middle-earth"

Breaking news, this is the latest picture of the new UK Chinese embassy.

😂 From Viz

I will raise a Kwak to them later this evening

Trying to write a book but all I can think about is what posh spice might have done during her son’s first dance

bowie's scream gets me every time

Letter in Times today

Inaugural meeting of The Board of Peace

My daughter's relationship with her boyfriend is reaching the point where they may say they're getting engaged. I think as well as the usual stuff about my wife buying a hat I think it's going to be appropriate to provide a written undertaking for me not to do any twerking during their first dance

'I WANTS IT'

"Fish and Chips", 2015, Oil on Board, 30 × 27 cm. (Private Collection) By John Woodward Lines (British Artist, born 1938)

Most of the people complaining couldn't find the Davros Islands on a map.

We have made the decision to formally close our X social media account. Once a vibrant platform to promote the interests of authors, we feel X is no longer a trusted place for balance, community support, and reliable information.

I once missed a train because, sat in the station cafe, I wanted to mock a friend's new haircut online and couldn't decide between "hairlarious" or "hilhairious"

Victoria Beckham at Brooklyn Beckham’s wedding

Right now, all over Britain, drunk robins are dismantling the system and making up their own rules.

Someone said to me, "I'm sorry but I got your book from a library." Nobody should ever apologise for that. You read my book! That's brilliant! I grew up hanging out in libraries and the idea of a world without them fills me with dread. Without libraries, authors, like readers, will only suffer.

I once saw Tom Baker on Oxford St loudly proclaiming to someone "Then I said, well Sebastian's a wanker". Happy Birthday Tom

I learned all I know about art from Tony Hart. And I learned all I know about architecture from Tony Harchitecture

apparently they were caught repeatedly sewing listening devices into their work wear. Their defence? It had just become a habit.

Happy birthday, Dolly!

There are quite a few HC climbs in there and so there are now rumours that the Tour de France will do its Grand Depart from there in 2028 but there is an issue getting the team cars to and from there so there may need to be a 9 year long rest day. Also there are currently not many hotels to stay at.

Look at this, just look at it. There was a time that we as a species couldn't even make fire and now we can see the goddamn mountains on Pluto.

Probably the best ever song written on Widnes railway station.

Grand tour and one day classics campaign up top, marketing workshop presentation down below.

'I must go now. My people need me."

The scene outside any Irish funeral.

I've just been for a haircut, the man cutting my hair (when I told him I used to be an employment lawyer) started telling me that he didn't like his job and was thinking of leaving. The owner of the barbers was standing right next to him, cutting hair in the next chair. That was an awkward 10 mins

"a new challenge" = going to a club where they don't have to sell all their best players all the time.

Yesterday I persuaded my employer to delete its Twitter account. They haven't posted anything on it for ages but I am pleased they agreed to take that step.

Incredible piece of Search Engine Optimisation

max speed 112kph (69.5mph) on a bike on snow on a ski slalom course bonkers.

#TheTraitors cast members as UK railway liveries. Stephen as an Avanti West Coast Class 805

If you know any Crystal Palace fans, please give them a call to check they are ok.

I can confirm that it's very much not shit.

"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."

I see Marti Pellow is now working for Haringey Council facilities.

There should be an Underwhelming Channel that specialises in documentaries about things like Britain’s least haunted house, history’s greatest self-evident truths and exposing America’s least prolific serial killers

Will throw this into the pot for Donald if it means he just fucks off.

after Stephen leaves the turret he climbs into Thunderbird 1 and clocks in a shift with international Rescue #TheTraitors

Friday.....

what an affordable bird

👀

A colleague was telling me how her 15 year son has vetoed a number of their suggested family holiday destinations because he had looked at views of the beaches on Google Earth and decided that they wouldn't be good enough for him to post selfies on Instagram. I nearly harrumphed myself to death

A routine surprise goodwill visit.

Hats off to whoever did this (and the beautiful model).

"I once gave my Nobel Peace Prize to a man who was about to start a war with his European allies by invading Greenland"