People often say to me "Nicola you don't usually come in on Fridays what are you doing here?" and to them I say "I don't fucking know I haven't achieved a single thing today I'm just staring at the clock"

"Other" Winning Here

Sir, please let me be the judge of whether my colleague who has been dealing with the new Royal Mail administration for the last several months will be offended by me calling them Shit.

Apple-the-Stoola finding his mum at home

PITCH: reboot of 'Brassed Off' set in these devastated mining communities.

Royal Mail has been awful since last year's takeover. We've been waiting 6 months for services to be re-added to our account for our business and have had to give up using Click and Drop because no one at RM there will help or admit to being out account manager. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

🎵Don't die for garms, Ant or Tina...🎵

With no context other than what I see here, I am nearly crying at "Don't die for garms"

[Opens Bluesky] [Observes class discourse] [Closes Bluesky]

My son just made me watch this trailer for the forthcoming Animal Farm film with Andy Serkis and now I think you should as well. youtu.be/g8wLmj9SiKM?...

The best thing about Google's AI response at the top of search results is that it takes a moment to formulate so it's often possible to scroll past it before it's loaded, making sure you didn't even accidentally read a single word of it.

I like the game and it told me I was good at it while also being rude to me which was enjoyable.

Roses are red, I never understood the Robert Lindsay fuss

Drop an album that was important to you when you were 19.

I've watched Dust Bunny and it has answered some of my questions.

Trying to help without being obtuse and I opened with "I'm sorry to tell you how to suck your cat"

I know all names are made up but some are more made up than others

Have any of you been to Threads? It’s like Bluesky but even more embarrassing. The best way I can describe it is: A fictional Twitter made for Grand Theft Auto.

I don't usually have vivid dreams but last night I dreamt my partner had 26 lines of a transcript of a conversation between himself and a health worker concerning the death of a grandparent tattooed on his arm, including the line "he has died, do you want his jacket back?"

I have. They're fine?

Maintain my view that the real two tier policing is "easy things Vs hard things".

Ok but AI can't do what I do at work (eat snacks and draw doodles in biro)

Ugh just seen the profile pic of someone I babysat when he was a toddler and he looks properly middle aged. Curse you, passage of time.

It’s politics by that bit on the X Factor where they talk about their journey, isn’t it

The more I consider this the more offended I am. I don’t give a shit about your greyhounds and the idea that you think crying about your greyhounds on a podcast makes you electable genuinely nauseates me.

A thought experiment, would any of the means by which any country ever got rich be legal now?

In football, the goals are big and the balls are bouncy. No other sport capitalises on this alchemical formula, and no tactics will quench its fire.

I'm gonna be 46 next week and I am considering crowdfunding some varifocals, if anyone wants to know how well I am doing at Life.

It is fucking weird how every conversation on here about Starmer ends up with accusations that you basically think he's Jesus. Saying "He's the best option currently of a dissatisfying bunch but he's got a lot to do to win people over" apparently merits "GOD WHY DO YOU WANT STARMER'S BABY"

This is fine, I want a curry now and I literally just had dinner. Good marketing.

The good thing about having a job that's made up of hundreds of different roles that won't get done if you don't do them is the excitement of finding out which complicated but critical process you had never heard of before but is now urgent you will have to research and implement this week.

Yeah, very much in the same “not convinced by this, but…” boat. I would add that just because a lot of junk science has been thrown around as justification doesn’t mean that there aren’t potentially huge downstream effects of this that we aren’t seeing yet, or we are seeing and we are just accepting

I keep oscillating between Green Tea is Disgusting and Green Tea is Drinkable and I Can Handle it and I'm wondering if this has to do with how long I leave the teabag in.

My NEW book on Tony Blair's years in power is out tomorrow, and you can buy it ON SALE at Amazon right now... It's only £16.24 in hardback and £13 for a Kindle version: www.amazon.co.uk/New-Labour-B...

Do I actually have to find out what a Bad Bunny is or can I let this one go

me that footage so I can post children online? Like... why is every tech company like this, that they can't give you a useful service without adding "here's our new feature, it puts ur life at risk xxx"

I already can't comprehend why people think it's ok to surveil their neighbours and their own family with doorbells connected to the internet. This linked up surveillance stuff is the obvious next step and I will think very badly of anyone who still uses one.

BBC News presenter asking Chris Mason whether McSweeney going means the heat is off Keir Starmer and Mason gave a waffling answer which ended with ‘I think the key question now is whether or not McSweeney’s departure means the heat is now off Starmer’

Nothing more romantic than dishonesty by implication

My son's friend's mum has just dropped off thank you chocolates because he did his work experience with us and I thought oh no does that mean I need to give someone chocolates for my son's work experience and then remembered he did his with us too, so I should give them to me.

i love european olympics opening ceremonies. the second the ioc names a european host city the prime minister calls the culture minister into their office and says "find me your strangest homosexuals. give each of them a period of our great nation's history, a kilo of cocaine, and Ten Million Euros"

to link two topics - make the ridiculous train loop and put parliament on it, like snowpiercer

This was my personal favourite

Multi-layered train experience as one of the voices interrupting my own silent drifting is a man telling the person he's with that he'd be too self conscious to have an open phone conversation on the train about personal stuff (because that's what someone at the other end is doing).

GET READY FOR the place where you live where you are standing as you read this because you've just bought an off peak return to come back here later after you're going somewhere else but now this email means you check you did buy the right ticket, which you did

I'm not saying I've been concentrating too hard on profit and loss figures this week but I did just send an email to someone to explain that our lease start date had been the 25th of Margin

Nice little throwback on my FB timeline. It's sad that we never talk about this hat any more.

I think arguing about whether a globally recognised heritage site should be neglected to the point of it very likely burning down in the middle of London because fixing it would be expensive, is a true core British value