Absolute scenes in Boston. Bring back the Scottish 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Oooh just heard Channel 4 are coming in to work filming today. Domt all start sliding in my messages for autographs for your kids and wanting selfies. Fame is going to go to my brain. I will shun most of you when I'm fanous

If Killian Mbappe scores for France against Iraq tonight I will give away this pair of Predators to one lucky person who reposts it

As someone who speaks fluent French and lived in Marseille for four years, The French supporters are singing "Is your Dad Saddam Hussein" to the tune of "Is that all you take away". Looked like a few Iraq fans have walked out already The ugly side of football

I speak fluent Spanish and worked as a translator in Cadiz for a few years, and the Argentina supporters were clearly singing "Adolf Hitler, he's one of your own" to the Austrians. That's why they look upset I'm shook

Hydration break

FIFA are looking into wether the goals Pele scored playing Subbuteo should be counted at the World Cup

Hydration break

Danny Murphy butters pitta bread

Maradona wouldn't have tied his laces for that penalty He couldn't sew a patch on Diegos arse

Daniella Westbrook at Sid Owens birthday party

Has anyone got the pic of when Trevor Sinclair got arrested and pissed his trousers in the police car ? Wouldn't mind using it for a hydration break

There's four players at this year's world cup all on three goals each after two games, they are just five behind Brazils Pele, who has eight

Hydration break

Hydration break

Hydration break

When Starmer goes he should do it in style, Walk out number ten in jeans and white wife beater vest, cowboy hat, bottle of Jack Daniels, cig in mouth, full blown Zoe Ball wedding day. Wanker sign to the paparazzi as he gets in the car. That's how I'd do it

Hydration break

Hydration break

Hydration break

Hydration break

Yerno when I said I never get a trolley or basket with someone else's receipt left behind ?? Only nipped in Aldi earlier for milk, spewed up, then collapsed. Vermin I got a clean one

Shearer always sounds like he's blown a weeks wages on scratchcards The glum cuntv

All Saturday bases covered. Hate the game not the player

Looks like my first week as landlord of the Dundee Arms has gone rather well

Nice to see Scotland are the toast of Boston. Will be different when that lose. When they go out I hope it's against Japan. Let's see those Japanese clear up after that. They'd better take skips not bin bags

World Cup Moments: Brazilians Falcao, Luzinho, and Eder arrive in Barcelona ahead of their thrashing by Paulo Rossi and the Azzurri at Espana 82

A great exhibition of twatting the ball

World Cup Moments: Argentinian legends Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi enjoy some time off in St Petersburgh before Argentinas group game against Nigeria 2018

Come on England !!

World Cup Moments: England third choice keeper Gary Bailey relaxes in the Monterrey sun ahead of their Group F game against Poland at Mexico 86

The World Cup is coming up to almost a week since it started, and I've still not seen Mark Crossley telling Brian Clough stories yet. Game has gone mad

World Cup Moments" England forward Jamie Vardy enjoys a day off from training by spending the day shopping in Repino at the 2018 tournament in Russia

World Cup Moments: England midfielder Peter Reid gets trolled by Argentinian supporters after he chased Maradona like he was chasing an ice cream van at the Azteca Stadium, Mexico 86

Lucky that John Peel is dead, he'd have no dating site at the beginning of next year The dirty old cunt

In 3, 2, 1

World Cup Moments: France defenders Lillian Thuram, Bixente Lizarazu, and Frank Leboeuf arrive at Stade de France ahead of their semi final against Croatia in 1998

Belgium keeper must have been taking tips off the Saudi Arabia keeper, he didnt even get a hand on that

World Cup Moments: Belgium forward Romelu Lukaku gives fans the thumbs up ahead of their group game with Morocco at The Al Thumama Stadium in Doha 2022

World Cup Moments: England's Tony Adams and David Batty drown their sorrows over a pint after going out of France 98 on penalties to Argentina

Scottish football fans: • Strategically place post-it notes on your body • Go out in the sun for half an hour • Remove the post-it notes and Voila! you'll have your very own Croatia shirt for Wednesday

This game is only eight minutes old and Peles number of career goals has gone up by five

There's a big Burns night going on in Boston. Fifty percent of the Scottish have third degree, the other fifty have been covered in coleslaw

So Qatar isn't a huge pile of lumpy phlegm on the chest. Well fuck my old boots

Some of the shooting is fucking awful. Not at the football, at that cunt of a President

The good news about Scotland kicking off at 2am is that the supporters who haven't gone will only need to use Factor 20 sun cream

When Sutcliffe killed 13, No one rioted When Nielsen killed 15, No one rioted When Alitt killed 4, No one rioted When Shipman killed hundreds, No one rioted When a person of colour kills, they rioted

Wilma McCann, Leeds, 1975