If you can sing Roxanne without singing it as Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours, we can never be friends, you obviously hate me

I know the name won't mean a lot to most of you, but Daz was probably the best known face, in a sea of well known faces, at Latics over the last 20 years. Anybody who ever attended a game knew his name and his face, and his loss was a massive blow to everyone. This is ace by the club #wafc

What's your big OCD things ? Every fucker has something. Just done one of mine.... Any loose grapes in the box go straight in the bin. I never eat them Only other major one is t shirts in label order, polos, round neck then jumpers, all coat hangers facing the same way

Brad Pitt explaining to Jennifer Aniston why their marriage is over

Simon Wiesenthal, Argentina, 1960

I'd bet a pound to a piece of shit that those grubby germ riddled people on that cruise also get ill at Christmas. That's a peak time for grubbiness. People with germs kissing family members spreading their mange everywhere. Guaranteed they don't wash their hands after a piss. Dregs the lot of them

Remembering Sid James, born on this day on 1913

I think it's fair to say that those who go on cruises really are a shower of grubby bastards. Never hear of a bus, train or plane infected by germs. Always the ships, bleach the dirty cunts

"Bring out your dead"

Peter Sutcliffe, Roundhay Park 1977

Hope that grown man has a bottle of City tears ready to drink

Ozempik and fat jabs users look away now. The rest of you, listen up. I'm not going to say this again Lidl biscotti and cream donuts are possibly the best in the country. The shortbread is not too shabby either May the 4 cakes be with you

Never seen Star Wars so it can get in the bin, in fact I've seen hardly any science fiction so throw the fucking lot in with it, Star Trek, Predator, anything with space ships, aliens or any other outer space dregs. Not worth a wank There, I've had my say

Willie Carson and Claire Balding visit a Newmarket book store before the 2000 Guineas in 2025

Couple of players struggling with injuries at half time for United, Harry Maguire has a migraine and Luke Shaw has pulled his gastric band

It's in Luke Shaws contract that if United go in at half time 3 goals up, he can have a Walls Vienetta after his kebab and chips

It's lucky it didn't hit Luke Shaw on the arse, it would have ended up in the ship canal

"Well, here we are now, all the lads"

Slightly diminish a book Tramspotting

Len Fairc.... I'd better not

Let's not be too hasty

Name your top 15 TV shows ever Auf Weidersehen Pet Police Squad Fall and Rise of Reggie Perrin Landman Porridge Only Fools And Horses Hill Street Blues Steptoe & Son Early Doors The Osbournes Married With Children TFI Friday The Office Moonshiners Cheers

Went chippy at dinner, first time since I went with daft Tony. Linda the owner told us Ron had fractured his hip and on crutches. I tried my best to get her to go get him but she wouldn't. On way out Tony asked why I did it "A pic. There's a man works down the chip shop who's broke his pelvis"

Had a bit of sun lately bit still haven't heard the immortal line "I don't go red I just go brown" God I hate those bastards, wouldn't mind seeing how quick they go black and blue as I put my laces through them Good day

A polite reminder that King Charles climbed over Diana to get to Camilla. Just let that sink in. Part exchanged a princess for Red Rums offspring. Good day

Trump Clooney Trump Gates Trump Trump Clinton Trump Trump Musk Our Andrew Trump Spacey Trump Branson Trump

Charles had the chance to call them all a shower fucking bastards, before giving them the forearm over the elbow go fuck yourself, aimed a Cantona kung-fu kick at one of them, then get escorted out shouting "England England" like Sutcliffe shouting "Yorkshire Yorkshire" led from the Old Bailey dock

Eddie Booth, The Royal Oak 1975

A hole in Juan

Hope they throw the booky wooky at him

The Queen would have been 100 today, if she hadn't met Liz Truss

Post you, in another country

5 songs off your car playlist ? Cranberries - Dreams Blondie - Union City Blue Doves - There Goes The Fear Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way Housemartins- Get Up Off Our Knees

Week off. Helvellyn, Haystacks, Coniston Old Man, Malham Cove all done. That's it for a while I've told myself, but I wouldn't mind doing Hadrians Wall cycle ride. I'm having a think about it

Luke Shaw would track back quicker if they put a burger van behind the goal

Couple of injuries reported in the United dressing room. Luke Shaw has heartburn and Bruno Fernández is struggling with period pains

Luke Shaw looks like he's already got his mind on his half time pie, chips & gravy and can of dandelion and burdock

I'm not saying Uniteds defence is the worst I've ever seen, but it's certainly the worst since OJ Simpson told detectives he only nipped to Nicole's for a quick slash

Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945

Can I just shock you, I like goulash

Can't believe Butch Harmon on the golf has just said "Rory Mcilroy on the third tee, one stroke behind Margaret Thatcher" I'm shook

While hole in one's are great to see at Augusta in the Masters. Being the first on the course at 6am on Beacon Golf Club and seeing your mate chip in for a birdie 3 from out the bunker, take his ball out the hole and find human shit all over his hand is better. Gypsies had shit in the first 3 holes

John Lennon, Dakota Building, 1980

If getting older consists of walking round Carr Mill in the morning, a wood pigeon flying in front of the car on the way back, calling into M&S after picking pigeon feathers out of the grill on the car park, buying Aquilegia from a garden centre, all before bacon butties, its not what I planned

I know he has his haters but you can't take away Tyson Furys achievements. The first heavyweight champion of the world who shits in a carrier bag

Can't watch the US Masters like I used to, ever since the American bloke on Twitter said he'd shoot me in the face at Augusta, all because I replied "Get in the hole" to the PGA announcement that Arnold Palmer had turned his toes up

Settled for the US Masters and the thumping later on. Fail to prepare etc etc

I'm not saying I always get a donkey in the Grand National sweepstake at work, today I drew Claire Balding

Michael Hutchence after fitting a belt round his Gregory and about to bite into a poppers filled tangerine