You know how sometimes you’re playing a video game like Resident Evil and you see a bottle on the ground and you zoom in to read the label and realize that you’re not actually supposed to read any of the text and what you’re looking at is something surreal and confusing

i got a new toothbrush and it says "not tested on animals" on the box. i fuckin hope not. i gotta put that in my mouth

Slay the Spire 2 is out which means I will no longer be reachable by any means for 3-4 years. Goodbye

There’s always money in the

Ephemeral artery

I didn't realize everyone who won for the ensemble cast got one and briefly thought they gave him two for winning Best Actor as a bit

Forced Gump

Moin. Wünsche einen guten Start in die neue Woche 😺

ssh is an obscure but widely-deployed command. It stands for Secure Snake Home and was made in the 90s to securely play snake online I made a massively multiplayer backend for it with support for thousands of concurrent snake players ssh snakes.run to join!

If anyone hasn't heard of it, CyberChef is neat if you come across a strange or encoded looking string in the wild. The "magic" recipe especially makes it easy to figure out what something might be encoded with. gchq.github.io/CyberChef/

code sommelier

Man goes to doctor. “Life is meaningless.” Doctor says, “Great clown Pagliacci is in town. See him, he’ll cheer you up.” Man says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Doctor points to box in corner, "Eight hours in there, you wake up yesterday, see yourself performing" Man gets in. Sees performance

one of the most magical things about parenthood is the opportunity to watch a baby grow and develop. i never got to be a baby. i’ve always just been a guy

this guy rocks the house

I really appreciate a good supercut. www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIi7...

Prosecutor: “Now who was to the left of you?” Me: “Clowns” Prosecutor: “and to your right?” Me: “Jokers” Prosecutor: “And where… where were you in all of this?” Me: “You know EXACTLY where I was you SONOFABITCH!” Judge: “Order, ORDER!!”

Nintendo re-releasing the virtual boy reminded me of this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNfJ...

shrimpteresting

The basic problem is that the spinning Earth is 1. not a particularly accurate clock 2. the most important clock, ever

his ass is NOT POSIX certified

Alien Earth, season 2

lmao

Here is my leap second simulator! I have been wanting to build this for a long time

Getting my life on track…

Colorblind caveman when the tribe tells him about nature:

Republican, but platonically.

Yahoo, versus the forces of eval().

self-hosting my S3 bucket the right way

Going to subway and getting the meatlong football mariana.

about 65% of the time I've goge a superpower to ignore randome commentants about me. incredibility glad about that. tyty.

I like to use real life as a sort of internet

when life gives you demons, make demonade

Give a man a compliment, he’ll blush for a day Teach a man to fish for a compliment, this guy sucks now, thanks a lot

Canary Worf.

"No rats in Alberta", I mutter to myself as I finish pouring Joe's cement shoes on the shore of lake Athabasca.

Very cool website if you want to see how many people and who exactly is in space (orbit) right now. I look at it surprisingly often. Usually whenever I see some recent footage from up there. whoisinspace.com

my most prized possession

it's not easy breeding deer for gigantism, but that's why I make the big bucks

It's stupid how angry people get even angrier when you tell them "you need to relax." Why are you mad at me? I'm giving you a really good idea.

My cinematographer's so damn childish. Won't stop playing with them dollies.

Despite the name, I've never once seen this cheese chedding.

Solid state lasagna battery.

figured out how to make this website usable, finally

Efemural keys. (you store them in your pants pocket)

me too pepper me too

Get it on Filet mignon Get it on