Democrats if they ever regain a modicum of power: We can’t just ignore the time honored tradition of the iRS not auditing former President Trump

Imagine a boomer who hated Nixon but loves Trump

The cybertruck is seaworthy for up to ten seconds

it needs a little work but i like that it’s scrappy

Looks like he's in the Backrooms

I’m not taking anyone seriously who goes by their YouTube user name

they did surgery on a ghost

I think my eyes are sweating

These days, liberal communists are forcing right-thinking Americans everywhere to go online to defend the Odyssey, which is time they would have otherwise spent reading the Odyssey

Always keep your hammer on you in case you run into ET

May I interest you in some

Sarah Connor crush my skull

A deinfluencer tell you what sucks and what not to buy An uninfluencer is someone who sucks so bad you won’t use anything they’re selling

Yeah this one is a real humdinger. China put life ahead of GDP during covid meanwhile American leadership explicitly stated life was less important than money. It must be that China is lying

One thing I’m sure of is that my enemy’s have a conscience that I can appeal to if I am noble and dignified enough

100% of the weirdos complaining about Nolan’s odyssey movie think it should look like Snyders 300

Your own Personal Beavis

Hey, thanks for all inspirational quotes you’ve been posting, I feel so inspired and uplifted now

9pm: yawning 2:12am: time to become a scholar on uncontacted tribes

Don’t worry, I’m one of the reliable narrators

If you are being assaulted, begin to recite the poem “Jabberwocky” at your attacker. This will either confuse them and give you time to run away, or they will join in and you can call them a nerd, wherein you become the victor

This actually feels really good when done correctly

Frank castle is Italian? I’ve lost any sympathy for him

hard to look at this and imagine democrats doing anything about the flagrant corruption, widespread human rights abuses, and crimes against the state going on right now

I hate having to learn about some new dipshit when I go online

8-10 years ago, every other guy online was named Connor. Nature, in her infinite wisdom and patience, gradually weeded them all out, and now they are almost entirely eradicated #toomanyconnors

trans woman's replies when she mentions that the democrats are leaving her and her siblings out to rot

I’ll take China seriously if they arrest and imprison Trump and musk for crimes

I grow weary of AI. I’m ready to hype the next big thing

"we are going to be fine because Democrats are going to win in November" vs Democrats voting to ban their voters from bailing out protestors jailed for free assembly

Thank you for your very serious reply to my idiotic shitpost.

Be kind to all; everyone is fighting their own Battle of Gettysburg

to criminalize **bail funds** fucking garbage people.

Noooo you cant call the Dems useless nooo theyre trying so harrrd The Dems:

Well it seems that I’ve been kicked out of the Lollipop Guild

Headlines shaming you for individual water use: Are We Over-Hydrating? Dry Cooking: The Latest in Kitchen Trends Public Water Fountains or Germ Colonies? I Used To Love Swimming, Here's Why I Stopped Why You Don't Need to Wash Your Hands Lifehack: Harvesting The Water From Your Dead Enermies

We have yet to determine if the keys are intelligent or not

im in a bad spot and i have $27 to my name at the moment $65 due in 4 days $70 due in 11 $118 due by june i need to raise $253 altogether, just trying to catch up if you can help with a donation or rt i would appreciate it! thanks! ¢ashapp = $ValterraBella √enmo = @VeeBeeExx

they did ballmaxxing on a grape

The Milkwalker would chew this mf’er up

Disappointed to learn that ‘ballmaxxing’ (sp?) does not involve these weird dudes smashing their nuts with a hammer

You do have to admire the biblical literalists sticking to their literalism

AITA? I (34/F) have been waiting 6 years for my fur babies to get me anything for Mother’s Day, but today I’ve had enough. I just dropped them all off at the county SPCA and put all of their food and stuff on Facebook marketplace for free

This is what I look like with no clothes on

Happy Mother’s Day

Well it looks like it’s a good day to keep punching left

If I forget to close the goddam door, please chime in

One cannot simply make a temple out of bone

The face you make when you're drawing up your serum

A 2014-era Apple ad depicting Oskar Schindler making his famous List using Apple’s Notes app would have been so powerful