It’s really amazing how dipshits have no problem seeing a thought process and an internality to an AI program, yet refuse to ascribe those attributes to millions of actual people

I showed you my labubu, pls respond

At Elon’s epic roast party and he tells grok to show everyone the forbidden nudes

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric hell yeah brother over the roofs of the world - Walt Whitman

It’s 2026, kids these days can’t even - open pdf - drink from garden hose - do a sick Ollie - find the files they downloaded - tune the carburetor - huff gasoline fumes - find porn stash in the woods - repeat quotes from Anchorman

Trump medicating himself into romanov hemophilia

Placing my hand on this cheese as I recite the oath of office

Surely we can shame the AI into doing the right thing

Map of Europe if sea levels rose 6000 m

Turn your RepliCANTs into RepliCANs

I’m not like other shitposters, babe

Did momdani do the “terrorist fist bump” with his wife?

will literally never forgive any of you that excused this, and used that bullshit 60k number for months. yall are fucking dead to me

"New year, new me", I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods

There are a lot of people who would love to see the entire country become Las Vegas

I hope there’s a new joker movie this year, we haven’t had one of those in a while

inshallah in 2026 they will take the caffeine out of coca cola and put the cocaine back in

normal people: you gonna watch the ball drop tonight? me, nodding off at 10:46 pm: *weakly* it's... it's too late for me *coughs* you go on without me... i'd... i'd only slow you down...

In 2026, we’re taking your cars away

excited to start the 46th year of the reagan administration

Still can’t believe I didn’t fucken get raptured this year

any discussion of city transit improvement online ever

The usual creeps and perverts

2025 Can Suck My Fat One, Charlie Brown

Watching the “In Memoriam” for 2025 on the news, and once again there are a bunch of people I assumed had died several years ago

Please remember that dozens of people voted for Donald Trump simply because they wanted a huge ballroom

and if you want to know... why Donald Trump is the president It's because the Ecru measure Goodness as being able to handle snakes rather than avoid them.

In 2026, you’re allowed to say ‘sporpsball’ again

Forget Beethoven, this is what they took from you

Bryan Johnson acting like he’s the first dude to get horny

it's genuinely fascinating to me that "you cannot facilitate a genocide against a people and still expect their vote" is too advanced for some analysts to understand.

Going back in time to call adolf Hitler “adolf shitler”. He kills himself in 1928

If you decide to be childless, then who is going to reluctantly bring you a new roll of toilet paper when you’re on the shitter and you belatedly realize you’re going to need more?

Bringing that weird updog smell to the party

Don’t forget that crime is legal from now till the 1st

Slowly learning that people on the internet are able to lie about things

The cuck can have a little chair, as a treat

This is what a 30 year old man looked like in 1955

Teaching my kids about capitalism by stealing their SSNs, running up several credit cards in their name and leaving them in debt for the rest of their lives

Remember kids, if you're working today, no you're not. It's Christmas Eve Eve. Put 8 hours of fake meetings on your outlook calendar. You're meeting with Santa. Take a dozen smoke breaks and feed a reindeer. Dasher and Dancer love Newports. This work week is over if you believe it is.

I can’t go anywhere in my town without people recognizing me from bluesky and begging me for a reskeet, just a scrap of clout

In Deutschland, sagen die Kinder „sechs-sieben“

democrats will not save us. it isn't because they can't, it's because they don't want to

It’s actually kind of impressive that both Obama and Biden managed to get Trump elected

Refusing to criticize the party we are nominally a part of — a party that has failed to stand as any meaningful opposition to fascism and, in many cases, has furthered its cause — is an abdication not only of our responsibility as voters but as human fucking beings

Asking the sea lion to be serious for five minutes is a fool’s endeavor

I received way too many work emails for December 22

Christ did not die on the cross so that bluesky could ban goatse