If Chuck Schumer tells us he has personal assurances that the SAVE act will be good actually I’m going to lose my fucking mind

Again I'm begging people to use some common sense and skepticism when blindly sharing obviously fake bullshit "screenshots" and memes from bluemaga morons with 100k followers and too many emojis in their bio

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just like I know Elon lied every single year since 2012 about self driving cars being a year away...but what if...this time...they're a year away

Our overlords are so generous. So deeply generous. I'm so grateful 🙏

Finding myself very defensive of all the figure skaters when the announcer comes on to [seemingly condescendingly] say "she made a very small mistake at the beginning of her twizzle" MOFUCKER LETS SEE HOW GOOD YOUR TWIZZLE IS!!!! I BET IT SUCKS!! SHE DID A GREAT TWIZZLE!!!!!!

omg i would walk 500 miles 🤣🤣🤣

Never forget

Am I not supposed to refer to Clair de Lune as “a banger”?

Apparently YouTube knows I’ve been watching the Olympics cuz it just showed me an awful skating accident where a skater took an ice skate blade to the face while doing a spin thing w her partner. Absolutely brutal

Walking on the Charles is very much like playing Russian Roulette. If you intend to continue living, I suggest you do not try it.

It should be illuminating that prosecuting sex trafficking, the thing that prosecutors and police across the country have been using as a cash cow to fund surveillance and weaponry, is actually not something government prosecutors care about at all. The system does not hold people accountable.

So is the abbreviation of more than one state attorneys general "State A's G?"

100%

Condolences to our Canadian neighbors. Sorry you guys have to deal with this awfulness too.

Wow. Cirroc Lofton absolutely smashed that episode. ❤️❤️❤️ Star Trek: Starfleet Academy Episode 5, by itself, is enough to make me 100% deaf to all haters of this show. Damn I miss Captain Sisko.

I adore all of Captain Ake’s seating antics and hijinks. Highly approve.

Remember when saying to ppl “I’m a federal agent” prompted thoughts and associations of Mulder/Scully/other movie stars and actually impressed regular ppl? lol now imagine them finding out you’re an untrained racist Gestapo goon and laughing in your stupid face

Watching the Star Trek Starfleet Academy gym workout scene thinking: (Second repost correction because I am a dumb moron who can’t think or write things)

Watching the Star Trek Academy gym workout scene thinking:

Oh god, Mollie Hemmingway is dropping a fellacious bio of Alito in April. Folks, this man is *so* going to retire at the end of the term. Senate Democrats, PLEASE staff up. This is *going to happen.* www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/molli...

In the process of making my entire apartment elderly corgi accessible, putting my limited handyhuman skills to the test.

The King of England is talking about criminal charges for his own brother (for his association with Epstein) meanwhile America can't even get rid of Howard fucking Lutnick

Slava Ukraini!

umm...say what now

Anybody else remember a century ago when their motto was "Don't Be Evil"

Translation: James Talarico says Democrats win by appealing to Republicans. And this, friends, is why I'm supporting Jasmine Crockett in the Texas senate primary. Dozens of candidates have tried "widening the coalition" for 25 years and all have failed. It's time to try turning out the base.

Schumer: ball’s in your court Republicans: stab the ball, tear it apart, set it on fire, rip up the court and sell the turf to Bahrain Schumer: hey you guys are out of balls Republicans: we’re gonna kill your families Schumer: ok we’ll pass funding for new balls but you’ve GOT to read the rules

Another flawless Obsidian Order meme intel gathering operation into enemy territory was successful:

I find myself repeatedly waving at my tv when smiley happy Olympians wave at the camera during a close up. I’ve given up trying to stop myself. I’m a guy who waves at a tv now I guess.

Aliens arrive on Earth. See luge. Immediately realize we’re a species of crazy ppl. About face. Back to deep space.

sometimes there is also good news

Hang it up, folks, we lost

Killing it with the 90s songs in the rhythm dance event 😎🤘

Yes, non-Americans, during commercial breaks from the Olympics we are being bombarded with ads for weight loss medications. Watching the most athletic ppl on Earth do amazing things then showing those ads…very subtle. Marketing as an industry is playing tennis without a net.

Post a banger that isn't in English. (hope this counts, drum cover)

Erin Jackson is delightful.

Enjoying the frozen bocce (curling)

Speaking truth as usual-

I always forget how joyful it is to watch the Olympics, and how happy the athletes are to be a part of it. On a separate note, it is insanity how attractive some of these people are. Strongly suspect that they are not human.

Interesting how capitalists will claim ceos do great work because they’re “invested” in a company but don’t extend that same logic to worker owned cooperatives

Very cool apple almost doubled the fee for transferring money from Apple Cash to a bank acct.

We’re calling Epstein Island “Kid Rock” now.

At this particular moment there is no one I want to punch in the jaw more than Mr beast.

Lol, lmao even

100%

Hell of a show Triumphant I think is a good description

So far im most blown away by the movie sets they’ve managed to build and move onto a football field like that. Crazy

Obsidian order memeint collection complete.

Could you imagine Henry Ford with a twitter account