Babe? I know you're using that camcorder to help document our first anniversary, but I can't help but notice almost all your footage of me laughing has me surrounded by white sheets. The other day I started dancing in the kitchen and when you hit record the sunlight suddenly streamed in. I'm worried

if you hate or love "maxxing" please be advised that guys my age think it's funny as hell and will shortly be using it approx. 500 times a day. you will be cringemaxxing and despairmaxxing but no amount of cringe & no depth of despair will stop the guys my age from usemaxxing "maxxing." just fyi

waking up and checking the polls to see if I'm considered a human being today

genuinely very funny to live in an era where all the competent imperialists have been replaced by coked up boarding school failsons incapable of understanding soft power

as an Appalachian trans woman I see all this incest play as stolen valor

i need someone i know to give this baby a home

women are always saying this about me

weeping in the club

the problem with a women's pinball tournament is that women are pretty and i'm very gay

Like picture this. You're 41 years old. You're waking up wrong more days than not. Your back hurts. You hear someone in their 20's talking, and suddenly you're having fucking Nam flashbacks from 20 years ago when the only people who talked like that were ridiculously awful fucking people.

Like you hear someone speak and you get a full-body flashback to 2007, which was 19 years ago btw, when the only people who talked like that were the absolute fucking worst people in the worst dark corners of the internet. And now it's just a sign they're under 30.

People have said this before, but it's weird that if you are in the Bluesky age demographic of 38 to 42, young people right now are talking *exactly* like the incel loser 4chan dweebs you encountered 15 years ago. They're using words you deeply associated, long ago, with incel CSAM dweebs on chans

(reluctant pansexual voice) boys: also pretty

there's something wrong with my brain (there's several hundred hours that aren't counted because i launched it via a mod manager instead of Steam)

i don't like apps they're too convenient for me to post brainrot to the population of a moderately sized township we gotta have forums again i wanna have niche shit again

💖 happy valentine’s day 💖

snake. this is Dank Weedman. we need you to infiltrate the Final Sesh. intelligence we got from the head shop infiltration indicates that they are constructing Metal Gear BONG in there. that's right -- theyve added carburetors and a water chamber to the walking tank, making its lethality the highest

Those who weren’t resigned to the Math Idiot Garbage Bin as kids may not grasp how much “if you’re bad at math, you’ll die in a ditch and all will be better off for it” sentiment was floating around in the 90s and 2000s, but it sure felt real to me. (my parents are great! It didn’t come from them!)

seeing someone dressed in like a full mechsplo Handler getup just out and about playing pinball and thinking "gosh but i love living in a neighborhood full of weird, gay little freaks" keep it up, perverts, i love all of you very much

Weak point of a mech, is the pilot. Weak point of the pilot? Depends, but usually hot evil women.

sneaking around the neighborhood at night, slapping stickers that say "I bought this after Elon begged to go to the wildest party at Pedophile Island" on every last Tesla I find

well that seems not great tbh

can i vote for anti war ? can i vote for abolishing ICE ? can i vote for stopping supplying israel ? can i vote for universal health care ? can i vote for legal protection of trans healthcare ? can i vote for abortion rights ? can i vote for a minimum wage increase ? no ? kys

hey everybody lifelong tech expert here > "system crash” deleted nearly two weeks of surveillance footage from inside the facility that's not how anything works they're lying and destroying evidence hope that helps

Nuremberg trials for ICE is the moderate position

the dm: [desperately trying to keep the party on track as we continue to make jokes about catacombs being the Bone Zone] me: [sending the DM pictures of my tits]

i should do something this weekend idk what, but i wanna get out of the house

can one of his staffers just the end of one flew over the cuckoo's nest this motherfucker and call it a day please

Trust me on this. I can save the world

yeah I also just give money to the Trans People Should Be Killed Bulletin for the crossword puzzles

⚠ 𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 ⚠

weaving status: sweet mother,

new all time reaction image just dropped

i see your grumpy one and sunshine one dynamic and raise you two grumpy ones

i don't really have anything in me to post about it other than 'this shit sucks'

in retrospect of course we were gonna end up doing a white helmets about medecins sans frontieres

high key need to be in mental subspace for 12 hours straight

SELL IT TO WHO, BEN?? FUCKING PUMAMAN??

all these dweebs pushing for a bunch of genai "coding" in 2026 have basically guaranteed that the 2027 CVE landscape is gonna be fucking lit as hell and i'm very excited to see what kind of insane security flaws are discovered

*absolutely covered in bruises and scratches* mister scrooge was a bitch i handled three miraculous apparitions on christmas eve so well

dudes in the cars universe texting like "i showed u my muffler pls respond"

kind of unfair that the family dog can get titanium canines but i cant she's not even going to do anything lesbian with them what the heck

I feel like one thing media narratives about us miss is how much fun it is to be a girl

Pretty women stepping on me = hell meh Pretty women working out knots = hell yeah

I have PTSD PTSDEEZNUTS! But for real tho

i need to be hugged until my stuffing permanently displaces and i get all floppy and weird

i really gotta start actually leaving the function when the cis dude(s) with rancid vibes start being problems