This is so bad I never want to spend money ever again. I’m taking it out on all products everywhere.

We know. Do something about it www.theguardian.com/society/2026...

Pleasure to have you starting here at the Castle, Mr Crapper. You've already met Lumiere, Cogsworth and Mrs Pots. Oh this is my dog Footstool. Ha! I just realised a lot of the staff here are also named like the things they do. Let's hope we don't get cursed to be them aye, Crapper. Hahahaha.

A good week to bury Kemi Badenoch’s Desert Island Discs Her first dance was to Wet Wet Wet's cover of Love is All Around Me

Today I purchased out of date chewing gum. Didn't know that could happen. How does it taste? Sort of has the texture of a tissue that was left in a jeans-pocket and went through the wash.

Colin Jost: What is happening? Oh boy. Can we just PLEASE get on with the show? This is just... Oh my. Oh boy.

A 15th-century Inca citadel located in the Eastern Cordillera of southern Peru on a mountain ridge at 2,430 meters (7,970 ft).

Below - in this voice.

It stands for How Much Really Cost?

Imagine having Bruce Springsteen AND Billy Bragg release songs about how much you fucking suck and how much the people fighting you rule you within the same 48 hours

absolutely not, why the fuck would I want to do that

Help us make hope normal again. Join the Green Party now.

I wish I was successful enough to tell Top Secret Comedy I don't want to do their stupid gig.

Even Jack Whitehall probably thinks 'this is low'

Robbie Williams is so far off the artistic roster I think he might actually work from Nestle HQ.

We live in a world where there is no cafe in London called Mornington Croissant.

You can't make a Hamlet without breaking a leg

Frank Sidebottom's Hamilton

Jordan Peele's Little Shop of Horrors

I saved money by buying a leap year diary even though 2026 isn't a leap year. How does it work? Simple, I'll just start using it tomorrow, 2nd January. You're welcome

If you press play on Gordon Ramsay Hells Kitchen Season 4 ep 3 at 23:26 tonight you'll see in the New Year with Gordon Ramsay being very disappointed with some scallops over "the worst dinner service this restaurant has ever seen".

If you press play tonight on Das Boot at 22:46 you'll see in the new year as the Boot finds it's long lost Boot brother.

If you press play on Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings at 22:36 tonight you'll see in the new year just as Frodo wins his breakdancing battle.

Play Lynyrd Skynyrd's Freebird at EXACTLY 11:54.24 and when the clock strikes midnight you'll still have bad taste in music.

Someone told me Brussel sprouts look like 'little cabbages' and now I can't unsee it 🤣🤣🤣

🎵 SIMPLY HAVING A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN

Princess Diana would have loved Christmas Day x

"You bot, what day is it?"

What? John Cena's retired? You'd think they would make a big deal of this

He's brought shame upon the FIFA Peace Prize.

TikTok trend of making a dining experience for a classic film watching. But that film is Trainspotting.

attention everyone. we've got a live one here.

just make a fucking sandwich

Some of the most politically progressive people i know eat regularly at McDonalds. When did we stop going 'what are you fucking on about?' This is not snobbery. It is good old fashioned boycotting an awful fucking business.

In 2026 can we normalise not going to McDonalds? I haven't been since I was 13 and I do not miss it. They are a horrible company. Horrible food. If you think its fun / ironic / cheap / nostalgic that is just their marketing working. Fuck McDonalds

"Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace"

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/

10 years ago today we lost Queen Elizabeth. She reigned over this country with dignity and compassion. She brought the nation together and didn't suffer fools gladly. With her this country was united. She was a powerful voice. Thoughts go out to her children. x

10 years ago today we lost Queen Elizabeth. She reigned over this country with dignity and compassion. She brought the nation together and didn't suffer fools gladly. With her this country was united. She was a powerful voice. Thoughts go out to her children. x

Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen

The feeling I felt watching was familiar but I couldn't place it for a few minutes....then I realised....I felt the way I feel when I'm at a party and Cards Against Humanity comes out.

This Friday evening is The Morl Society: A livestream of short niche presentations delivered by people who signed up to give short niche presentations. Even I'm not 100% on what they're all about, exactly. Watch live from 7.30pm at www.twitch.tv/seanmorl

We need solutions, not scapegoats. Stop attacking asylum seekers and tax the rich instead!

"You can agree or disagree with him, but Polanski does not pretend to be something he is not. He is unusually willing for a politician to give a straight answer to questions. Does he want to rejoin the EU? “Yes." observer.co.uk/news/nationa...

The man who inspired this six years ago I often still see round my neighbourhood, and he still hasn't found the rest of his car.

Fuck Around (making a rocket ship at home in Lancashire with help from your dog) & Find Out (that the moon really is made of cheese)

Most of us have no idea how bad it is inside ICE detention centers because they have kept it hidden. Then a truth teller shows up and says it plain. The conditions are filthy. The treatment is inhumane. The abuse is Systematic and routine.