Look at you, you vulgar oaf, you Rustlers burger of a man, you cagoule of farts. All distressed because "they're" putting potato in your beef.

World Cup USA 2026 is sponsored by Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Land of the Free… Taste of the Crunchy. Get your soccer on and chow down on the Bell. 🇺🇸

I've not watched "Euphoria". Nor do I intend to. I'm more of a Stonker's Bonce, On The Buses kind of guy.

Get your American person name by combining two England players' surnames - e.g. Lampard Rooney, Keagan Pickford, Hurst Waddle.

Sausages used to have integrity - thick, proper ends, something honest about them, eaten with my wife at a table that still meant something. Now they are all uniform, neutered, like everything else. She is gone, the taste is gone, and I am left chewing memory.

There was a time when this image didn't offend - when blokes could be blokes, before my soon-to-be ex-wife was possessed by the woke mind virus. Now it's all suspicion and scorn, and I am left clinging to these images, angry, alone, yet comforted by Rupert's patriotic machismo.

You spoke. We listened. #Revorce - Replace all traffic lights with British roundabouts - Mandatory carvery - Bring back old money - One queue: no more little queues - one big one - Ban on self-checkouts - No more woke seat belts

Sir Keir Starmer cuts a casual figure as he flaunts new look for M&S Blue Harbour.

"Let me be clear: yo momma is so significantly overweight that, frankly - not to put too fine a point on it - she's becoming a burden on the NHS, which is already overwhelmed because of the cost of living crisis."

Damned Atheist is my favourite content producer on ThatGuyWithTheGlassesDotCom.

"Why are young people flocking to Restore Britain?"

I've just heard the news. Your dad's got an account on X and his profile picture is Rupert Lowe swimming.

Look what I found in Sue Ryder, tucked between forgotten relics like a message from a freer age. They don't make things like this any more. No doubt I'll be hauled off by the humourless, woke custodians of the present just for running my fingers across the plastic case. 🇬🇧👍

It's interesting that, if you're on social media, you'd be forgiven for thinking that there's a relatively large community of transphobes, but whenever there's a protest only about 30 of them turn up. And it's the same people at every protest.

Sir Keir's 2002 Simulator puts you, the player, in a world populated by Deep Pan Pizzas, Dixons, and default men on their way to purchase the latest issue of Loaded magazine. The quintessential 2000s London experience.

That's Billy Corgan.

In Westminster. What an incredible turn out for today's transphobe protest in London. Literally DOZENS of spiteful losers.

Just read that the Billy Corgan claims he shaved his head as a tribute to Kurt Cobain. This reminds me of how Eric Pickles had his hair lasered off in homage to his hero, Margaret Thatcher.

I long for the halcyon days of Frufoo - that yoghurt treat that came in a UFO-shaped pot, a toy alien entombed at its core, as if joy itself required excavation. Now my wife has been taken by the woke mind virus, I scrape the remnants of sweetness from memory, the centre empty.

Podcaster Billy Corgan cuts a casual figure as he debuts a new look at the Pride of Britain Awards.

If you vote for Revorce at the next election I'll send you a signed copy of this.

Billy Corgan

Smashing Pumpkins Singer Billy Corgan Mysteriously Claims the Government Contacted Him About ‘Things Way Above My Pay Grade’

Me outside my ex-wife's home (the home we used to share together) insisting that she take me back.

Back in my day we had proper rock 'n' roll – not this autotuned, mumble-rap, TikTok bollocks. Give me Racey, Cliff, Blue Mink, or even a bit of Lenny Swamp. Proper guitars, proper drums, proper sweat and attitude. Not some skinny jeans wanker staring at his laptop pressing play.

I pine for Berni Inn - the ceremonious arrival of gammon and chips, a floater coffee, my wife beside me. Now she has taken the home, I am left pacing the dim corridors of memory, determined to crush the woke mind virus that convinced her to leave me.

I think of the Cheltenham & Gloucester advert: the choral tune of Adiemus filling the room, my wife beside me. It sounded like promise then. Now it echoes differently, through an empty house, as I sit awake, body failing, replaying a life that no longer belongs to me.

Cracking on to birds, pint in hand, laughter thick as the smoke, no apology required. Britain felt loose and alive then. Now I sit alone, wifeless, with nothing but the ghost of that thirst, scrolling rage into the small hours because even memory has been declared problematic.

Posting this was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm never going to stop getting people telling me that this isn't Billy Corgan. I'm never going to stop being followed by weird Americans. I hate my life.

History has already laundered the evidence, but for a brief interval Cliff Richard produced some of the most raucous rock 'n' roll ever. I saw him at the Roundhouse in 1981 and he tore through the night like a man possessed, vomiting on the audience after sniffing a dead badger.

It's arrived.

Final Fantasy VIII (1999)

British people will see this and say hooooochie mama!

Still one of the best to ever kick a ball.

Still my personal favourite thing I've seen on this great website full of fun people.

I wake up every day and I can't wait to hop on Bsky and experience more fun. It's all I have left.

Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan says rock music was “purposely dialled down" by CIA and MTV from the late '90s

These days you can't even put your carkeys in a bowl at a swingers party because not everybody owns a car. It's PC gone bongo.

Failed gay man? Well, at least I'm trying. What are you doing to be gay?

Billboards for Andy Churnwell's Sauce 'O' rama in Actua Soccer 3. Nobody, not even my ex-wife, can take these precious memories away from me.

Come on, patriots. Let's show them lefties. RETWEET if you want Rupert Lowe to take you high as a kite every single night. 👍😊🇬🇧👉👌

"Anybody got any zingers?" "How about: 'Jeremy Corbyn? More like, deranged antisemite, am I right?'" *laughter erupts*

Great news! BBC producers confirm that, following the US-Iran ceasefire, filming will now commence for "Tom Skinner's Strait of Hormuz Adventure." Skinner will pilot a crew of beloved influencers on a 500 mile voyage through mangroves, majestic coastline, and the "odd minefield". Fantastic stuff.

Look at the patriots here today, guys. Proper flags. Proper British music. 🇬🇧✝️🍆

I can't believe it. I just heard the news. Your dad's on Channel 4 news because he makes AI videos of Richard Hammond tossing off Jeremy Clarkson.