Australian and New Zealand-made art is some of the best art in the whole world, I don’t fuck with cultural cringe or tall poppy syndrome - we’re good

I notice that the same freaks who are very into The Matrix when it comes to misusing the red pill metaphor in aid of misogyny are weirdly not as opposed to AI being forced upon us as they should be

you should listen to episode 26 of The Agonies with @davidpostoffice.bsky.social & @ajinhd.bsky.social ✨ we establish which pokémon we are, our fighting styles, our most controversial takes and towards the end Correos starts drinking a mysterious unlabelled goo and I haven’t seen him since

i love making wizards guess things with little to no clues

no costume, unlike you posers I am truly embracing the spooky season by waiting to discover if my boyfriend has gastro in a science experiment exclusively hinged on whether I get it too

Are you a “warn everyone of imminent danger” autistic or an “infodumping at all costs autistic”? Sketch written by @brainmage.bsky.social & starring @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social @stuartlawscomedy.bsky.social - background gremlin by @sararoseg.bsky.social Full show here: linktr.ee/tdtnews

polyester halloween costumes are to me what garlic is to vampires watch me hiss and run out of the room to wash the feeling off my hands

Well look what we have here! It’s only The Daily Tism’s sketch show, back in audio form with a spooooooky Halloween special! In this episode, an autistic ghost has some unfinished business, Dr. Frankenstein makes a terrible mistake, and we take on THAT “I Am Autism” ad. Enjoy & tell everyone!

you should be allowed to take a break from sweating while you’re on holiday

you should be able to smoke weed with your dog

my most prolific hobby is moving an ice pack around to different parts of my body

I am once again at the shops looking for a face cream that will change my life

there’s no way to make this a functional technology, but I wish there was a way to completely block my access to TikTok on my phone except in the instances that I have to post something or that I’m having diarrhoea

why is there no ABC miniseries about the woman who married Morris Gleitzman and then after they broke up went on to marry Paul Jennings??

love when porn websites advertise “Australian Girls” as exotic yeah I’ve met Australian girls - country road bag, "here if you need," who bought pineapple cruisers, let’s go smoke down the servo - that’s them

depending on the kind of media you consumed as a kid you either thought you’d have to deal with a lot of quicksand as an adult or you thought you’d have to pour a lot more boiling oil on your enemies

can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure the people who work at those little booths in shopping centres and apply phone screen protectors without bubbles all day are more skilled labourers than literally every architect

let the soft animal of your body get stuck in a blackberry thicket

when I was at uni I read a news article about a guy who ate a slug on a dare and became paralysed which is a really sad story, but now every time I see a slug my brain tells me not to eat it, which is crazy, ‘cause that was never my instinct before

here I am, on public transport, catering to the male gaze

I do not have kids, but I do have a lot of tabs open

who up twitching their limbs

the feminine urge to bundle your hair up under a hat and pretend to be a cabin boy aboard a sailing ship

my favourite Shakespeare play is The Tempest, because I am also a young girl who likes to walk along the beach just muttering to herself

my head is obsessed with having an ache

I live with a constant dread of the day I wake up to a National Geographic cover of a turtle with a tampon string poking out of its mouth and the global media starts blaming women for climate change

you haven’t been bullied until you’ve been “your laugh is annoying” bullied oh you mean the demonstrable evidence of my joy!!! you’re right I’ll shut that down

I’m worried all the lolly snakes I’ve eaten in my lifetime are forming a rat king situation inside me

my parents used to have to bribe me to play team sports with hot cinnamon doughnuts like a cartoon policeman

a dog at the pub is one of the world’s greatest pleasures and should be in the bible

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have a crush on a comedian you want to do comedy

I need a chiropractor to wring me out like old timey laundry press I just want all my joints squeezed out of me into a river

I really like art that involves little woodland creatures participating in human activities so sue me

cancelling plans because I have to look long into an abyss

if anyone took a picture of me onstage at The Apollo tonight please send it to me, my friend Lou was in the foyer arguing that Australian ID should count as proof that their comp ticket was for them

my trichotillomania and I have been at a pretty significant impasse since year nine where we disagreed on whether or not I should have eyebrows, but we’ve finally compromised over a bald patch in my pubes

kid me really thought I’d have to put my hair up under a cap and disguise myself as a cabin boy on a pirate ship at some point in my life

I am a woman simply filling up her vag with tap water and carrying around a secret pocket of water in case of fire

you’re not “kinky” if you just wanna hit women while they’re naked, you are my nemesis and I am coming for you with my sword

yesterday I was in the park taking a video of a squirrel and a bunch of people saw me filming the squirrel and stopped so that they could also film the squirrel, I suppose on the assumption that it might be a famous squirrel or that I am some kind of cultural tastemaker or sommelier of squirrels

you think you can hurt my feelings? I had braces and a jaw expander in grade three nobody even knew what they were looking at to bully me properly

people with an extra toe are embarrassed normally, but if they’re kidnapped and have to have an extremity cut off and sent to their family in a box? that’s a perfect situation

as a kid I had nightmares about driving my dad’s 4WD without knowing how to drive, but he’s a helicopter pilot so I also regularly had the same nightmare about flying a Huey gunship

yeah me too mate, that's why we're both at the local library

I love a beautiful things girly, like, even their bong is nice to look at, that type of gal

“but doctor, I am the reviewer who called Pagliacci ‘derivative and juvenile’”

under special skills on my resume it just says “musing” and employers do not like it

you think you’ve been victimised by the shuffle function? I lost my virginity to a Flight of the Conchords song

saw The Shining at the cinema last night and when the credits started rolling I looked down to pick up my bag and looked up at the screen again to see, in that matter-of-fact square font they used, “HAIRSTYLES: LEONARD”

you’re in his DMs, I am in the little Gaulish village still holding out against the Roman invaders