all these AI company freaks are genuinely just pushing themselves onto us more and more and more because they think eventually we’ll give up and let them fuck us - we are being culturally raped by these rich, evil Thunderbirds puppets come to life to imperil a college campus and then the world

it’s cool that like six of the richest guys in the world are allowed to hold every other persons, like, pensions and superannuation hostage over a technology that no one asked for or wanted and is literally removing them from the employment that made it possible to contribute to that superannuation

new podcast episode with @tomcballard.bsky.social is up now!!!

a glory hole but for stroking peoples hair in a calming manner

The first ad for It’s a Superpower?? is now live! This is the first ever sitcom made by & for autistic people - please share far & wide. Search for It’s a Superpower?? on your favourite podcast platform to make sure you’re subscribed & to hear the full-length ad! 📷 @frasergeesin.bsky.social

I was saving my last chocolate bilby from Easter because I miss Australian chocolate so much when I’m in the UK and the London heat has THWARTED my treat

got my period wearing spanx at a wedding reception while Robyn’s Dancing On My Own was playing - some incredibly, industrial-strength womanhood for a Friday night

just caught myself restocking the poppers at work and feeling sad because BERLIN XXX HARDCORE can’t stop flying off the shelves and I hardly ever have to restock PIG FILTH SLEAZE - poor little guys must feel so neglected

I have discovered a tiny puritan living inside my head - I am woman with a man inside watching a woman, but that man is wearing a stupid capotain hat - I have to choose to viciously slaughter him every day, but every day he grows back like the liver of Prometheus

my brain all day and all night

the phrase “there are no stupid questions” may have done colossal and irreparable damage to society, which is a shame because the sentiment is kind

still accidentally getting on the bus going in the wrong direction at my age, still choosing to believe it’s because the universe needs me to look at some stuff over this way

watching the Australia vs. USA game and the number of American fans in the stadium wearing Uncle Sam hats as a genuine display of patriotic support feels incredibly unnerving

Adobe’s AI assistant keeps trying to get me to let it summarise my cross stitch pattern BITCH IT IS A SERIES OF SYMBOLS IN SQUARES

"a spoiled French Bulldog lives here" yeah I would hope so! you bought a dog genetically destined to suffer its whole life - the least you could do is give it attention and treats

thinking about the time my phone got stolen while I was on a call with my boyfriend so he got to experience what it was like to Be Kidnapped, while being somewhere else entirely and completely fine

My train just came past a construction site and I saw a man tugging as hard he could on a cable attached to a digger. It looked like the digger was a very large and stubborn pet dog whose owner was trying desperately to move him on from sniffing a pylon.

you know how they age wine and cheese by putting them in barrels in cellars and such? I’m gonna do the same thing with a bunch of clothes by putting them in a tub under my bed until they’re vintage

I have so much faith in humanity’s enormous capacity for kindness and community spirit and that faith dwindles slightly every time the person sitting in front of me on a plane reclines their seat

what I imagine my salt shaker is thinking as it watches me scramble an egg: “damn my guy is getting beaten while he is cooked, didn’t stand a chance”

cause of death: grass pollen and hips hurt

I've made an Etsy shop, because I keep having ideas for patches and finding no one has made them yet www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4...

I’ve got crumbs in my bed serving much like a shakti mat

since childhood I have always been delighted and bewitched by the way a middle aged straight woman can so charmingly refer to her “girlfriends”

just rewatched the original Star Wars trilogy and I am once again viscerally upset by the death of Jim Henson

I am only trying, it is all I am

baby foxes scampering and gambolling along the rooftops out behind my flat no photo

if I was writing an action/revenge film where the antagonist was an insurance appraiser I would have the revenge seeking main character say something like, “Appraise this!” in reference to his weapon before he used that weapon on his target

took myself out to dinner, no headphones, immediately overheard a table full of english people in their thirties who are “sooooo excited for the new Harry Potter series” - it is the damn wild west out here

I live directly above a music venue and, I tell you what, they are never not playing Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand down there

just got a fraud prevention phone call because I’m trying to pay the NHS fee to extend my UK visa and the lady asked me if I was using a legitimate website and if I found it via google search or if someone sent me the link and if it could possibly be a scam IT IS THE UK GOVERNMENT WEBSITE

it’s so demoralising to use the bathroom while you’re travelling just cramming your suitcases into a tiny stall with you like they’re small children who can’t be left by themselves

when I was a kid my uncle had a picture of Britney Spears with a snake around her shoulders as his desktop background and even at my tender age I thought, “this is some textbook uncle shit”

you book me for something and I WILL do my time

slaying the Met Gala by showing up in a giant wooden horse

I have a bunch of stickers left and I’m in Australia for a few more weeks, if anyone didn’t get a chance to buy one at a show and wants some mail

To mark our 2nd birthday and the end of our Patreon Pledge Week, we've teamed up with the amazing @coherentcomedy.bsky.social to bring you an hour of live comedy, headlined by the brilliant @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social!

🍓TISM/COHERENT🍓 We will be doing a cross over show with @thedailytism.com next Sunday. Joined by Coherent favourite’s @natyougn.bsky.social and @thatbaldyfella.bsky.social with the incredible @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social headlining. The show will be for Daily Tism patreons, details below 👇

The Brisbane show tonight by @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social was so good. You should check out her podcast too. And maybe buy her stickers.

Brisbane! Monday 27th of April! This coming Monday, in fact! 7pm! Good Chat Comedy Club! goodchatcomedy.com/shows/grace-...

Our team has written 14 bonus pieces for all paid levels for Patreon Pledge Week & at the end of it there’s a big virtual standup show for our 2nd birthday party with @coherentcomedy.bsky.social running the show & @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social headlining. Please sign up, we’re all half dead now!

me and my friends getting "left behind" by AI

all the Grill’ds in the Melbourne CBD are fresh out of Healthy Fried Chicken Bites (Australia’s Favourite Nugget) (and mine also) if anyone has any intel on their restock schedule, spread the word!

the cinema popcorn choctop combo is one of the few culinary experiences where you can enjoy cold and hot AND sweet and salty simultaneously

I saw @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social last night at the #MICF and she was great! Check her out

honestly obsessed with the people proselytising on the street this weekend, they really think the reason I’m not in church is because I haven’t heard about the concept

thinking about the pastor at my all girls school who told us that the rock in front of Jesus’ tomb couldn’t have been that heavy because “two women managed to move it”

love work april fool

my camera roll is obsessed with reminding me that this time last year I was also doing a comedy festival show

sometimes at comedy gigs the bar staff get stressed about me using my drink ticket for soft drink so I end up with a pint of lemon, lime & bitters which is more lemon, lime & bitters than anyone has ever needed