I saw @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social last night at the #MICF and she was great! Check her out

honestly obsessed with the people proselytising on the street this weekend, they really think the reason I’m not in church is because I haven’t heard about the concept

thinking about the pastor at my all girls school who told us that the rock in front of Jesus’ tomb couldn’t have been that heavy because “two women managed to move it”

love work april fool

my camera roll is obsessed with reminding me that this time last year I was also doing a comedy festival show

sometimes at comedy gigs the bar staff get stressed about me using my drink ticket for soft drink so I end up with a pint of lemon, lime & bitters which is more lemon, lime & bitters than anyone has ever needed

“I asked chatgpt” well I asked the sage and mighty oracle and she said the only way to prevent the village crops from failing is to drag you around by the ankles, behind a horse-drawn chariot, for seven days and seven nights

the whole of Australian society runs on the back of the “friend with a ute”

you idiot!!!! (me to me)

nothing transforms from friend to burden more rapidly than the humble neck pillow the very minute you set foot off the plane

need a shock collar that goes off when I start telling a story that I’ve already told on my own podcast because I’m telling it to a different guest and, in the throes of good conversation & new perspective, I forget

anyone who has ever used disability to justify their use of generative AI: may the ghost of Maud Lewis strike you down, I’m so serious

honestly insulted to be getting targeted ads for ebay like that’s not where I’m spending half my screen time already

‘twas the night before International Women’s Day and all through the house, not a woman was stirring because they’re all being forced to get up obscenely early to go to breakfasts where they don’t actually get to eat nor complain about not eating

and for the lady, perhaps a respite from the ✨calamitous screaming✨?

at London Zoo today, in the pygmy hippo enclosure, looking at the pygmy hippo asleep under a sign that says “this is the pygmy hippo” and a guy says to his wife, “oh the hippo isn’t even here, that’s a statue” HUH??

They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.

Coming this Thursday - @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social is back to chat about our most heinous sensory icks, why standup gigs for Autism Parents are a trap, & the hidden dangers of door-to-door onion salesmen.

muuuuum they’re accusing me of contributing to the downfall of society again!

pretending to be a branch by pointing my chin towards the sky and closing my eyes

🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 @thedailytism.com

girl math is buying something expensive and then using/wearing it a lot so that the cost per use/wear becomes as low as possible and boy math is getting catastrophically addicted to sports gambling and then killing your family

with Valentine’s Day approaching we’re about to see an influx of my favourite kind of post in which a couple commemorates a relationship that’s less than a year old by going, “we’ve been through so many ups and downs” how many could there be?? it’s been 6 months? maybe break up!

this toilet can’t be separated from its bonded partner

AHOY-HOY! We have updated our list of free comedy specials on YouTube noblefailure.org/specials to include newness from @andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social, Catherine Bohart and Rosie Jones, alongside @abigoliah.bsky.social, @brainmage.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social...

why do I feel so odd and unsettled? could it be because I’ve been switching between the audiobooks for Heated Rivalry, The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein and Dire Straits’ debut album Dire Straits all day?

people who say things like, “we didn’t have all this autism/ADHD/trans people back in my day?” make me want to get the “instances of left-handedness over time” graph printed and distributed like a business card

sheep really dig their big one with lanolin those guys are really onto something

I accidentally left my beautiful, brand new woollen hood on the bus on its second ever outing because I was so tired after work and I’m just crying because I feel stupid

Bugs Bunny over here

I’m writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...

this year I’m gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word “ahoy!”

my New Year’s resolution is to have made better choices in adolescence

This is exciting, Grace is booked in for the first #ACMS of the New Year and we've never had a mighty oak on the bill before. (Just logs. Obvs.)

in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree

hope you have cheeses for those meeces because they’re fuckin coming for you

just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas

Come see us* in January wegottickets.com/event/685242/! Bring any unwanted Christmas presents for the swaps table! Have an excellent rest of December! Have a nice time! HAVE A NICE TIME! * Inc. @turlygod.bsky.social, @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social, etc

audiobooks, much like bisexuality, are wholly more enjoyable when you stop engaging with whether weirdos on the internet think they “count”

pretty grim that I’ve been sick enough in my life to be able to recognise the difference between a bacterial infection and a viral infection just from how they feel in my body, but it’s fun to have a party trick at the doctors

gaston movie should just be 1.5 hours straight of him being terrorized by eggs

I have been upset by the Grinch’s terrible fluffy fingers my entire life

The Daily Tism is not an educational platform, that’s why it doesn’t have sources for its information because it’s not information

A chronically ill autistic woman has endeared herself to yet another specialist, according to the letter sent to her GP. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/123513...

it’s that time of year again! the time when my social media feeds are filled with Australians and New Zealanders very politely explaining that we have Christmas in summer to some American person in their comments calling them stupid for not wearing a jacket in December

I went to the post office yesterday to mail my friend a cross stitch that I spent weeks making and the lady behind the counter asked, “does the item have a value?” and I said, “well, I made it with my hands” and she just stared at me until I went, “so I guess not…”

put my vibrator in the bathroom sink to give it a quick wash while my flatmates weren’t home, got distracted by one of the eight other tasks I was doing concurrently and then forgot that I’d put it there until one of my flatmates came home and told me that’s where it was

I worship at the altar of stained glass

there’s something to be said for the deep spiritual bonds and genuine precious friendships I have formed with people I’ve simply made eye contact with, at the back of a comedy club, while someone was doing or saying something absolutely batshit insane onstage

#ACMS 📆 Monday 12 January 🏰 The Phoenix 🎟️ buy online from wegottickets.com/event/685242/ 😻 hosted by @turlygod.bsky.social, with @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @hollyburncomedy.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social AND MORE 🌈 free guestlist for trans & non-binary folk, just ask