Grace Jarvis
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
š¤ 3142
š„ 445
š 1273
I am a stand-up comedian and that is okay
https://linktr.ee/gracejarvis
pinned post!
if a woman tells you you have ānice handsā she is doing everything in her power not to fuck you senseless please release her from her torment her friends are receiving the kinds of messages someone in prison would send
over 2 years ago
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Grace Jarvis
Catherine Kneen
5 days ago
I saw
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
last night at the
#MICF
and she was great! Check her out
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honestly obsessed with the people proselytising on the street this weekend, they really think the reason Iām not in church is because I havenāt heard about the concept
6 days ago
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thinking about the pastor at my all girls school who told us that the rock in front of Jesusā tomb couldnāt have been that heavy because ātwo women managed to move itā
6 days ago
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Grace Jarvis
oak blanco
9 days ago
love work april fool
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my camera roll is obsessed with reminding me that this time last year I was also doing a comedy festival show
10 days ago
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sometimes at comedy gigs the bar staff get stressed about me using my drink ticket for soft drink so I end up with a pint of lemon, lime & bitters which is more lemon, lime & bitters than anyone has ever needed
10 days ago
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āI asked chatgptā well I asked the sage and mighty oracle and she said the only way to prevent the village crops from failing is to drag you around by the ankles, behind a horse-drawn chariot, for seven days and seven nights
20 days ago
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the whole of Australian society runs on the back of the āfriend with a uteā
20 days ago
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Grace Jarvis
danielle weisberg
22 days ago
you idiot!!!! (me to me)
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nothing transforms from friend to burden more rapidly than the humble neck pillow the very minute you set foot off the plane
21 days ago
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need a shock collar that goes off when I start telling a story that Iāve already told on my own podcast because Iām telling it to a different guest and, in the throes of good conversation & new perspective, I forget
23 days ago
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anyone who has ever used disability to justify their use of generative AI: may the ghost of Maud Lewis strike you down, Iām so serious
25 days ago
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honestly insulted to be getting targeted ads for ebay like thatās not where Iām spending half my screen time already
26 days ago
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ātwas the night before International Womenās Day and all through the house, not a woman was stirring because theyāre all being forced to get up obscenely early to go to breakfasts where they donāt actually get to eat nor complain about not eating
about 1 month ago
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and for the lady, perhaps a respite from the āØcalamitous screamingāØ?
about 1 month ago
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at London Zoo today, in the pygmy hippo enclosure, looking at the pygmy hippo asleep under a sign that says āthis is the pygmy hippoā and a guy says to his wife, āoh the hippo isnāt even here, thatās a statueā HUH??
about 1 month ago
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Grace Jarvis
Gillian Branstetter
about 1 month ago
They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.
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Grace Jarvis
The Daily Tism
about 2 months ago
Coming this Thursday -
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
is back to chat about our most heinous sensory icks, why standup gigs for Autism Parents are a trap, & the hidden dangers of door-to-door onion salesmen.
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muuuuum theyāre accusing me of contributing to the downfall of society again!
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Grace Jarvis
orcus
about 2 months ago
pretending to be a branch by pointing my chin towards the sky and closing my eyes
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š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦
@thedailytism.com
about 2 months ago
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girl math is buying something expensive and then using/wearing it a lot so that the cost per use/wear becomes as low as possible and boy math is getting catastrophically addicted to sports gambling and then killing your family
about 2 months ago
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with Valentineās Day approaching weāre about to see an influx of my favourite kind of post in which a couple commemorates a relationship thatās less than a year old by going, āweāve been through so many ups and downsā how many could there be?? itās been 6 months? maybe break up!
about 2 months ago
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this toilet canāt be separated from its bonded partner
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Grace Jarvis
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS)
3 months ago
AHOY-HOY! We have updated our list of free comedy specials on YouTube
noblefailure.org/specials
to include newness from
@andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social
, Catherine Bohart and Rosie Jones, alongside
@abigoliah.bsky.social
,
@brainmage.bsky.social
,
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
,
@joznorris.bsky.social
...
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why do I feel so odd and unsettled? could it be because Iāve been switching between the audiobooks for Heated Rivalry, The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein and Dire Straitsā debut album Dire Straits all day?
3 months ago
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people who say things like, āwe didnāt have all this autism/ADHD/trans people back in my day?ā make me want to get the āinstances of left-handedness over timeā graph printed and distributed like a business card
3 months ago
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sheep really dig their big one with lanolin those guys are really onto something
3 months ago
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I accidentally left my beautiful, brand new woollen hood on the bus on its second ever outing because I was so tired after work and Iām just crying because I feel stupid
3 months ago
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Bugs Bunny over here
3 months ago
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Iām writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack
open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...
3 months ago
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this year Iām gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word āahoy!ā
3 months ago
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my New Yearās resolution is to have made better choices in adolescence
3 months ago
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reposted by
Grace Jarvis
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS)
3 months ago
This is exciting, Grace is booked in for the first
#ACMS
of the New Year and we've never had a mighty oak on the bill before. (Just logs. Obvs.)
add a skeleton here at some point
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in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree
3 months ago
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Grace Jarvis
bƦddelbotsno$
4 months ago
hope you have cheeses for those meeces because theyāre fuckin coming for you
add a skeleton here at some point
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just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas
4 months ago
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reposted by
Grace Jarvis
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS)
4 months ago
Come see us* in January
wegottickets.com/event/685242/
! Bring any unwanted Christmas presents for the swaps table! Have an excellent rest of December! Have a nice time! HAVE A NICE TIME! * Inc.
@turlygod.bsky.social
,
@barrstard.bsky.social
,
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
,
@joznorris.bsky.social
, etc
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audiobooks, much like bisexuality, are wholly more enjoyable when you stop engaging with whether weirdos on the internet think they ācountā
4 months ago
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pretty grim that Iāve been sick enough in my life to be able to recognise the difference between a bacterial infection and a viral infection just from how they feel in my body, but itās fun to have a party trick at the doctors
4 months ago
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Grace Jarvis
nora rude (they/them ze/hir)
4 months ago
gaston movie should just be 1.5 hours straight of him being terrorized by eggs
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I have been upset by the Grinchās terrible fluffy fingers my entire life
4 months ago
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Grace Jarvis
Sara Gibbs
4 months ago
The Daily Tism is not an educational platform, thatās why it doesnāt have sources for its information because itās not information
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reposted by
Grace Jarvis
The Daily Tism
4 months ago
A chronically ill autistic woman has endeared herself to yet another specialist, according to the letter sent to her GP. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/posts/123513...
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itās that time of year again! the time when my social media feeds are filled with Australians and New Zealanders very politely explaining that we have Christmas in summer to some American person in their comments calling them stupid for not wearing a jacket in December
4 months ago
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I went to the post office yesterday to mail my friend a cross stitch that I spent weeks making and the lady behind the counter asked, ādoes the item have a value?ā and I said, āwell, I made it with my handsā and she just stared at me until I went, āso I guess notā¦ā
4 months ago
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put my vibrator in the bathroom sink to give it a quick wash while my flatmates werenāt home, got distracted by one of the eight other tasks I was doing concurrently and then forgot that Iād put it there until one of my flatmates came home and told me thatās where it was
4 months ago
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reposted by
Grace Jarvis
Memento (artemis) Morty š
4 months ago
I worship at the altar of stained glass
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thereās something to be said for the deep spiritual bonds and genuine precious friendships I have formed with people Iāve simply made eye contact with, at the back of a comedy club, while someone was doing or saying something absolutely batshit insane onstage
4 months ago
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Grace Jarvis
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS)
4 months ago
#ACMS
š Monday 12 January š° The Phoenix šļø buy online from
wegottickets.com/event/685242/
š» hosted by
@turlygod.bsky.social
, with
@barrstard.bsky.social
,
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
,
@hollyburncomedy.bsky.social
,
@joznorris.bsky.social
AND MORE š free guestlist for trans & non-binary folk, just ask
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