baby foxes scampering and gambolling along the rooftops out behind my flat no photo

if I was writing an action/revenge film where the antagonist was an insurance appraiser I would have the revenge seeking main character say something like, “Appraise this!” in reference to his weapon before he used that weapon on his target

took myself out to dinner, no headphones, immediately overheard a table full of english people in their thirties who are “sooooo excited for the new Harry Potter series” - it is the damn wild west out here

I live directly above a music venue and, I tell you what, they are never not playing Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand down there

just got a fraud prevention phone call because I’m trying to pay the NHS fee to extend my UK visa and the lady asked me if I was using a legitimate website and if I found it via google search or if someone sent me the link and if it could possibly be a scam IT IS THE UK GOVERNMENT WEBSITE

it’s so demoralising to use the bathroom while you’re travelling just cramming your suitcases into a tiny stall with you like they’re small children who can’t be left by themselves

when I was a kid my uncle had a picture of Britney Spears with a snake around her shoulders as his desktop background and even at my tender age I thought, “this is some textbook uncle shit”

you book me for something and I WILL do my time

slaying the Met Gala by showing up in a giant wooden horse

I have a bunch of stickers left and I’m in Australia for a few more weeks, if anyone didn’t get a chance to buy one at a show and wants some mail

To mark our 2nd birthday and the end of our Patreon Pledge Week, we've teamed up with the amazing @coherentcomedy.bsky.social to bring you an hour of live comedy, headlined by the brilliant @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social!

🍓TISM/COHERENT🍓 We will be doing a cross over show with @thedailytism.com next Sunday. Joined by Coherent favourite’s @natyougn.bsky.social and @thatbaldyfella.bsky.social with the incredible @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social headlining. The show will be for Daily Tism patreons, details below 👇

The Brisbane show tonight by @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social was so good. You should check out her podcast too. And maybe buy her stickers.

Brisbane! Monday 27th of April! This coming Monday, in fact! 7pm! Good Chat Comedy Club! goodchatcomedy.com/shows/grace-...

Our team has written 14 bonus pieces for all paid levels for Patreon Pledge Week & at the end of it there’s a big virtual standup show for our 2nd birthday party with @coherentcomedy.bsky.social running the show & @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social headlining. Please sign up, we’re all half dead now!

me and my friends getting "left behind" by AI

all the Grill’ds in the Melbourne CBD are fresh out of Healthy Fried Chicken Bites (Australia’s Favourite Nugget) (and mine also) if anyone has any intel on their restock schedule, spread the word!

the cinema popcorn choctop combo is one of the few culinary experiences where you can enjoy cold and hot AND sweet and salty simultaneously

I saw @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social last night at the #MICF and she was great! Check her out

honestly obsessed with the people proselytising on the street this weekend, they really think the reason I’m not in church is because I haven’t heard about the concept

thinking about the pastor at my all girls school who told us that the rock in front of Jesus’ tomb couldn’t have been that heavy because “two women managed to move it”

love work april fool

my camera roll is obsessed with reminding me that this time last year I was also doing a comedy festival show

sometimes at comedy gigs the bar staff get stressed about me using my drink ticket for soft drink so I end up with a pint of lemon, lime & bitters which is more lemon, lime & bitters than anyone has ever needed

“I asked chatgpt” well I asked the sage and mighty oracle and she said the only way to prevent the village crops from failing is to drag you around by the ankles, behind a horse-drawn chariot, for seven days and seven nights

the whole of Australian society runs on the back of the “friend with a ute”

you idiot!!!! (me to me)

nothing transforms from friend to burden more rapidly than the humble neck pillow the very minute you set foot off the plane

need a shock collar that goes off when I start telling a story that I’ve already told on my own podcast because I’m telling it to a different guest and, in the throes of good conversation & new perspective, I forget

anyone who has ever used disability to justify their use of generative AI: may the ghost of Maud Lewis strike you down, I’m so serious

honestly insulted to be getting targeted ads for ebay like that’s not where I’m spending half my screen time already

‘twas the night before International Women’s Day and all through the house, not a woman was stirring because they’re all being forced to get up obscenely early to go to breakfasts where they don’t actually get to eat nor complain about not eating

and for the lady, perhaps a respite from the ✨calamitous screaming✨?

at London Zoo today, in the pygmy hippo enclosure, looking at the pygmy hippo asleep under a sign that says “this is the pygmy hippo” and a guy says to his wife, “oh the hippo isn’t even here, that’s a statue” HUH??

They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.

Coming this Thursday - @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social is back to chat about our most heinous sensory icks, why standup gigs for Autism Parents are a trap, & the hidden dangers of door-to-door onion salesmen.

muuuuum they’re accusing me of contributing to the downfall of society again!

pretending to be a branch by pointing my chin towards the sky and closing my eyes

🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 @thedailytism.com

girl math is buying something expensive and then using/wearing it a lot so that the cost per use/wear becomes as low as possible and boy math is getting catastrophically addicted to sports gambling and then killing your family

with Valentine’s Day approaching we’re about to see an influx of my favourite kind of post in which a couple commemorates a relationship that’s less than a year old by going, “we’ve been through so many ups and downs” how many could there be?? it’s been 6 months? maybe break up!

this toilet can’t be separated from its bonded partner

AHOY-HOY! We have updated our list of free comedy specials on YouTube noblefailure.org/specials to include newness from @andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social, Catherine Bohart and Rosie Jones, alongside @abigoliah.bsky.social, @brainmage.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social...

why do I feel so odd and unsettled? could it be because I’ve been switching between the audiobooks for Heated Rivalry, The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein and Dire Straits’ debut album Dire Straits all day?

people who say things like, “we didn’t have all this autism/ADHD/trans people back in my day?” make me want to get the “instances of left-handedness over time” graph printed and distributed like a business card

sheep really dig their big one with lanolin those guys are really onto something

I accidentally left my beautiful, brand new woollen hood on the bus on its second ever outing because I was so tired after work and I’m just crying because I feel stupid

Bugs Bunny over here

I’m writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...

this year I’m gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word “ahoy!”