with Valentine’s Day approaching we’re about to see an influx of my favourite kind of post in which a couple commemorates a relationship that’s less than a year old by going, “we’ve been through so many ups and downs” how many could there be?? it’s been 6 months? maybe break up!

this toilet can’t be separated from its bonded partner

AHOY-HOY! We have updated our list of free comedy specials on YouTube noblefailure.org/specials to include newness from @andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social, Catherine Bohart and Rosie Jones, alongside @abigoliah.bsky.social, @brainmage.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social...

why do I feel so odd and unsettled? could it be because I’ve been switching between the audiobooks for Heated Rivalry, The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein and Dire Straits’ debut album Dire Straits all day?

people who say things like, “we didn’t have all this autism/ADHD/trans people back in my day?” make me want to get the “instances of left-handedness over time” graph printed and distributed like a business card

sheep really dig their big one with lanolin those guys are really onto something

I accidentally left my beautiful, brand new woollen hood on the bus on its second ever outing because I was so tired after work and I’m just crying because I feel stupid

Bugs Bunny over here

I’m writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...

this year I’m gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word “ahoy!”

my New Year’s resolution is to have made better choices in adolescence

This is exciting, Grace is booked in for the first #ACMS of the New Year and we've never had a mighty oak on the bill before. (Just logs. Obvs.)

in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree

hope you have cheeses for those meeces because they’re fuckin coming for you

just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas

Come see us* in January wegottickets.com/event/685242/! Bring any unwanted Christmas presents for the swaps table! Have an excellent rest of December! Have a nice time! HAVE A NICE TIME! * Inc. @turlygod.bsky.social, @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social, etc

audiobooks, much like bisexuality, are wholly more enjoyable when you stop engaging with whether weirdos on the internet think they “count”

pretty grim that I’ve been sick enough in my life to be able to recognise the difference between a bacterial infection and a viral infection just from how they feel in my body, but it’s fun to have a party trick at the doctors

gaston movie should just be 1.5 hours straight of him being terrorized by eggs

I have been upset by the Grinch’s terrible fluffy fingers my entire life

The Daily Tism is not an educational platform, that’s why it doesn’t have sources for its information because it’s not information

A chronically ill autistic woman has endeared herself to yet another specialist, according to the letter sent to her GP. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/123513...

it’s that time of year again! the time when my social media feeds are filled with Australians and New Zealanders very politely explaining that we have Christmas in summer to some American person in their comments calling them stupid for not wearing a jacket in December

I went to the post office yesterday to mail my friend a cross stitch that I spent weeks making and the lady behind the counter asked, “does the item have a value?” and I said, “well, I made it with my hands” and she just stared at me until I went, “so I guess not…”

put my vibrator in the bathroom sink to give it a quick wash while my flatmates weren’t home, got distracted by one of the eight other tasks I was doing concurrently and then forgot that I’d put it there until one of my flatmates came home and told me that’s where it was

I worship at the altar of stained glass

there’s something to be said for the deep spiritual bonds and genuine precious friendships I have formed with people I’ve simply made eye contact with, at the back of a comedy club, while someone was doing or saying something absolutely batshit insane onstage

#ACMS 📆 Monday 12 January 🏰 The Phoenix 🎟️ buy online from wegottickets.com/event/685242/ 😻 hosted by @turlygod.bsky.social, with @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @hollyburncomedy.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social AND MORE 🌈 free guestlist for trans & non-binary folk, just ask

watching The X Files - the nineties were crazy!!!

shit is so bad that I am reading the terms and conditions

if you give me SEVEN godforsaken swans-a-swimming for Christmas, I assume you want to see my blood spilled that is not a present that is an assassination attempt

I’ve been thinking about the worms on the de-worming chocolate box since I was a kid, I just think they’re such fun little guys! they each look like such a good hang

I’ve made a Discord server for my podcast, if anyone’s into that: discord.gg/Hu66hp5WHN

stop doing Strange Things to those kids leave them alone

the original hot girl summer

my mum and I went to see The Play That Goes Wrong tonight and just before the show started all the actors were running around the theatre, panicked, asking everybody if they’ve seen a dog and the guy sitting next to us genuinely said, “do you think it’s part of the show or is the dog actually lost?”

I just need [5] more attributes to become an interesting character!

I miss when most businesses were interested in making a quality product for their customers.

Rain will often turn to hail if it fails to get enough attention

i could give up magnificently

our landlord is trying to sell our flat and there was supposed to be a viewing at 11:30, but I didn’t wake up until 12:30 so I’m not sure if they just didn’t come or if they viewed the house with me asleep in it like I was under some kind of fairytale spell

I am the poster girl for post-viral illness

A brand-new bonus episode of Autistic Women Oversharing is now live for your listening pleasure over on Patreon, featuring the hilarious @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social . Do we have ADHD, they ask, posting this several months late!

Australian and New Zealand-made art is some of the best art in the whole world, I don’t fuck with cultural cringe or tall poppy syndrome - we’re good

I notice that the same freaks who are very into The Matrix when it comes to misusing the red pill metaphor in aid of misogyny are weirdly not as opposed to AI being forced upon us as they should be

you should listen to episode 26 of The Agonies with @davidpostoffice.bsky.social & @ajinhd.bsky.social ✨ we establish which pokémon we are, our fighting styles, our most controversial takes and towards the end Correos starts drinking a mysterious unlabelled goo and I haven’t seen him since

i love making wizards guess things with little to no clues

no costume, unlike you posers I am truly embracing the spooky season by waiting to discover if my boyfriend has gastro in a science experiment exclusively hinged on whether I get it too

Are you a “warn everyone of imminent danger” autistic or an “infodumping at all costs autistic”? Sketch written by @brainmage.bsky.social & starring @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social @stuartlawscomedy.bsky.social - background gremlin by @sararoseg.bsky.social Full show here: linktr.ee/tdtnews

polyester halloween costumes are to me what garlic is to vampires watch me hiss and run out of the room to wash the feeling off my hands