I heard that on Trump’s birthday, June 14th, people will be posting photos of Barack and Michelle Obama on every social media platform. Sure hope this is true!

Farewell, Australia. Having failed to win Eurovision, the antipodean nation must now sadly be untethered from Europe's coastline, where it has been moored for the duration of the contest, and drift away into the mist, like Brigadoon but with beer and kangaroos.

Sneaking a giant screen into the flagshagger march is one of the funniest things @ledbydonkeys.org have ever done. "STAY HYDRATED" 😂🤣😂

One city. 9 million people. All of us Londoners. We will never be divided.

Hard agree with this one, with the additional point that the only people who actually do benefit from rising house prices are the people who own more than one home, i.e. the already wealthy

Grid-scale batteries are going in an absolutely wild pace. Every whingey objection to renewables you've ever heard is basically solved by batteries. This is happening whether any of the hopeless dipshits running the US want it or not.

Just been watching a brilliant documentary about Berlusconi. I'd forgotten the football connection - knew about the telly and vaguely the property development. Interesting to compare with Trump - Berlusconi seemed much brighter and genuinely self-made man.

John Lanchester's 'Look What You Made Me Do' is so good - entertaining, cracking pace, and full of deliciously nasty characters. #JustFinishedReading

Men will do *anything* except go to therapy

Staggeringly accurate.

www.maptap.gg May 15 90🎓 97🔥 95🏅 98🔥 54😞 Final score: 833

Murder: "Dude, what the fuck?"

For his 100th birthday David Attenborough should get to surreptitiously release an animal of his choosing into the home of a big game hunter.

Proust Baking Company Recalls Thousands of Madeleines

A fellow Labour Party member once described Wes Streeting to me as Zippy from Rainbow if he'd been radicalized by Mumsnet. which is a very specific set of references but also disturbingly accurate.

of course all the chaos is funny and I'm glad that Keir Starmer, a bad person, is having a bad time. but jfc what a waste of two years, what a waste of a majority, what a waste of a once in a generation window to improve things. and now it's just 24/7 infighting, briefing, backstabbing. pathetic

the closest we'll get to a scaled-down, land-based Ever Given situation - let's enjoy it while we can

Sent to Facebook jail for bullying my sister on her birthday

Happy Monday everyone, I who all the newly elected reform councillors are swamped with pothole complaints, bin collection issues and tedious site visits in the rain.

Starmer has lost Catherine West, but results are still being counted in Catherine East and Catherine Central

Catherine West says she is a lone wolf AND a stalking horse, I am excited for Britain's first werewolf centaur Prime Minister

Have just ordered some greetings cards from @gailmyerscough.co.uk . She's got such a lovely range of items - check out her shop.

2 transgender MSPs, and 10 (I think?) transgender councilors elected yesterday :) Transphobia is not popular. The ‘phobes can yell and scream all they like, but they are the odd ones. We’re going to be ok. Just gotta keep on going :)

Something that amuses me about how American culture dominates post-apocalyptic fiction is that nobody cycles. The petrol has run out so everyone trudges around.

Well done, Scotland! The Scots just elected TWO Green transgender MSPs, in a dramatic repudiation of the hateful ideology of JK Rowling and “Some Women Scotland.” Congratulations Dr Q Manivannan and Iris Duane! britbrief.co.uk/politics/dev...

For the last time, it's not a staycation unless you actually stay at home and go out for the day. *grits teeth* www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Perfect post right here.

This is why you never wear a cheap cagoule in the Western Isles.

OK so this is cheesy but good grief that is what we need today and I'm here for it.

This is just the beginning. Join our movement of hope: Join.greenparty.org.uk

What a nice interesting word on Wordle today. Often recently it's been so boring.

I got cancelled for German-Chinese fusion cooking jokes, because of wök.

Never met Tony Peters, don’t know who he is, but a million years ago on Facebook he posted this and I don’t think anyone’s ever put it better.

You can't even do Star Wars anagrams these days because of ewok.

Couple about to sign divorce papers… WOMAN: I wish I'd never joined that Star Wars dating app MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places WOMAN: And I wish I'd never married a guy addicted to Star Wars puns MAN: It was a wookie mistake WOMAN: Just sign it MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you

I just get the feeling the guardian has told all its columnists "can you Chiles it up a bit, make it a bit more Chilesy, basically Adrian and Tim Dowling do twice the numbers of the rest of you put together, can you take a leaf out of their book"

I gave life to the plums that were in the fruit aisle And which you were probably not that afraid of Forgive me They are a god now Eldritch Immortal

"Veg-eater, light of my life, fire of my loins" It's Plumbert Plumbert.

The eerie sensation of having a Labour government and feeling it's exactly the same as the Tory government you're already lived through is called Déjà Screwed.

Tesco, emailing me this terrifying motherfucker to me on a Sunday morning is an act of war, what the fuck, no I will not meet Plumbert I will destroy Plumbert

Whoever came up with the name “Ewok Powell” to describe Tommy Robinson should take the rest of the year off.

famously the only joke allowed on Wikipedia is, in their List of Whales, any entry that is missing a photo says [cetacean needed] apparently some unfunny losers have made it their job to find public domain images of whales to eradicate this joke only one instance of [cetacean needed] remains

"A physical barrel of oil recently sold in Sri Lanka for $286... This entire war can be seen as a war against Asian economies and it is being interpreted by many there that way:"- @mazmhussain.bsky.social My slides: tinyurl.com/PolycrisisWe... bsky.app/profile/70sb...

The big difference between the social media age and traditional media is editorial control. No one says ‘yes, but what’s your source?’ or ‘you’re contradicting yourself here’ or ‘hold on, that doesn’t follow!’ or, ‘mmm, we won’t get that past the lawyers’ or even ‘sorry, but this is terrible.’

I think about this all the time.

couple things benefiting the greens that were to the detriment of labour under corbyn the greens don't really have an internal element at the top of the party that deliberately briefing and setting landmines for the leadership we're also in a post oct 7th world where the public isn't as ignorant

Holy shit. Where to even start with this How about the ‘caricature’ of Polanski that looks nothing like him but does seem uh,… a familiar trope let’s say? Or taking an event where the cops repeatedly kicked a prone, tasered man in the head and lied about it and making the cop who did it the victim

Generational tweet that might even spawn a school of architecture.