lol theonion.com/rfk-jr-denie...

probably been done but here's my version

finance bros gassing up a bunch of computer nerds to commit financial crimes

I love LA, once i heard a guy having a very intense phone call discussing the ethics of his project which would “turn every single person on earth into a weapon” and it turned out to be a martial arts youtube channel

I think I should be allowed to try to shoot them with a gun while we're passing

I can't believe I have to say this, but if you're happily welcoming MTG to 'the resistance,' you're incapable of having an opinion worth hearing.

Oh the beautiful look of the world’s most obvious bubble about to pop

Just heard re: some ICE agents who raided a Chicago taqueria, then went back to the same taqueria for lunch the following week and got confused when the owner kicked them out, and I realized "jesus these doofuses really do believe we're all living in a video game where the NPCs have no memory"

Told ya ;) The techs literally CARRY the dealerships and their owners' relatively lavish lifestyles on their backs for slave wages. It's wrong on so many levels.

man, seeing Sigur Ros in concert was so cool... they played that one song, and the other one you'd probably recognize, plus the one that sounds similar but is actually a totally different song... all the hits, really

Like what are we doing here lol?

deeply intrigued by the fact that the current conservative line of defense is "hey he wasnt so bad, the girls he raped could have been even younger. its almost like he raped adult women, which as we all know is moral and good"

this country will not be healed until genuinely rich and powerful people start experiencing genuinely severe consequences for their evil actions. these people will only respond to force. And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.

nobody is talking about this but what if Jeffrey Epstein was actually the only human being in the history of late capitalism to achieve work life balance

Jyhad is a beautiful name for a babygirl

every single day

I have in my hands definitive evidence that my opponent has committed a world-historic evil. Evidence that, were it to be released to the public, would cause his supporters to abandon him and his entire world to crumble to dust. I therefore have no choice but to give in to every one of his demands

Me: Pull the plug, I’m ready Doc: But you’re not sick? Me: Coward

this is a rich text but my favorite part is that despite being presumably good at math, her husband is so illiterate that he cannot read a baby's report card

I'm mad how right this is

“primary every democrat” only becomes a serious threat if bsky doesn’t go goo goo babies over platner-esque candidates

I will also add: I can do this for evictions in Illinois too, if SNAP benefits being cut off or the government shutdown means you can't make rent.

Never read him. Never wrote about him. "Murakami, conversely, has faced accusations of emotional detachment and circular storytelling. Yet, writer Rebecca Solnit defends his approach...." Did AI write this? pakobserver.net/lawrence-and...

not many know this but "christmas" means "more christ" in spanish

Yeah I looked upon Cthulhu's dread visage and I was fine. Big octopus on a man's body. Not exactly "difficult to comprehend." Maybe you guys should go outside more idk

THIS! “I don't expect Zohran Mamdani to be perfect. None of us should. Perfection isn't the point of politics. Conviction is. What matters is that he believes the government should serve the people.” - Frederick Joseph

The vice president of the united states of america had Charlie kirk killed so he could fuck his wife

Night of the wrong wives coming for the American right.

At your job reading all your bad posts outloud like when they list complaints against cops at a protest

Have you ever dreamed of an issue of Flaming Hydra where two of the authors are married to each other? That's weirdly specific and kind of odd of you, no offense, but anyway @todseelie.bsky.social and I will make that happen on this very special day: flaminghydra.com/issue-433/

any white hat hacker/espionage types out there could do the world a lot of good with One Weird Trick. you know the one

Here’s something really graphic for Halloween:

The way people talk about this, and about colonizing Mars, which is really just the same thing blown up to a species-wide scale, is delusional, and you don't have to humor it or pretend it even skims the surface of reason.

Immortality is a child's answer to death anxiety, not a real thing with which humanity will ever have to contend. No king's alchemist ever granted him eternal life, and it isn't going to start happening now just because of Computer.

The moral of the The Matrix was actually about how important it is to have cool sunglasses

*westside gunn voice* vape clouds in the courthouse bathroom. Boomboomboomboomboomboom

May 2024

Long story short, bringing home the bacon isn’t code for hooking up with a cop...

PLEASE GOD DO IT

My dad went to high school with this guy and said he used to wear suits to school everyday and everyone thought he was a fucking loser-ass weirdo.

This is why I don't go to therapy anymore

There’s no shortage of reasons to rip senate dems a new asshole but I’m really not positive “black senate dems taking a selfie together” is among them

*atop a pile of corpses whiteknuckled grips still pulling desperately at a barn door wedged open by stacks of hundred dollar bills dumped by the glue/feral horse lobby. Gazing bravely into terror frozen eyes of door closers and captured ponys* I refuse to jam anymore money into this open door