The moral of the The Matrix was actually about how important it is to have cool sunglasses

*westside gunn voice* vape clouds in the courthouse bathroom. Boomboomboomboomboomboom

May 2024

Long story short, bringing home the bacon isn’t code for hooking up with a cop...

PLEASE GOD DO IT

My dad went to high school with this guy and said he used to wear suits to school everyday and everyone thought he was a fucking loser-ass weirdo.

This is why I don't go to therapy anymore

There’s no shortage of reasons to rip senate dems a new asshole but I’m really not positive “black senate dems taking a selfie together” is among them

*atop a pile of corpses whiteknuckled grips still pulling desperately at a barn door wedged open by stacks of hundred dollar bills dumped by the glue/feral horse lobby. Gazing bravely into terror frozen eyes of door closers and captured ponys* I refuse to jam anymore money into this open door

Rich nerds visiting a cool city: what if this place sucked shit instead and me and all my shit sucking friends lived here instead?

I bet they wait til just before the midterms

They need to stop using the paperclip hypothetical and start using the "create ad revenue at all costs" very real and apocalyptic happening right fucking now.

If these evil dweebs really wanna bring on the singularity as they see they gotta make a reality TV love competition where an ai wins

btw as an invasive species starlings are exempt from the migratory bird act so you can just grab one and put data on it that’s free real estate baby

Some people are allergic to creating friction and I don't know why

Rewatching a should be classic Man from nowhere

the back with two mr beasts

Yeah this is how people are going to justify punishing people for being right too early

Lovecraftian geometry eldritch horror ass hairdo

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

Searching if its gay to drink diet coke

Every word of this thread

Frantically looking for my phone and repeatedly yelling, "WHERE'S MY BLUESKY INTERFACE!"

Thinking of trying this approach with my students: Ask them first: Would you say that you're a better or worse writer than the average person writing stuff online? Then tell them: If you're a better writer than the average person on the internet, using AI will probably make you worse.

it’s because he has nothing to say other than some variation on “look how sophisticated i am, especially compared to other black people”

A tribute to no one's favorite rapper by no one's favorite writer

Most of the internet used to be like this. This is actually the default, it took companies enclosing the internet and adding weird, soul-killing incentives to make people behave the way they do now. In a way, there is truly nothing special about Wikipedia except that it survived longer.

I love it when people go this hard

Accidentally pushing a pull door at first is a completely understandable mistake. It’s that second, angrier push that tells the world who you really are

We should have listened when the modems screamed at us.

Had forgotten about this. Trump might not be the only local grandpa in the Epstein files www.salon.com/2024/03/07/r...

Glad he got away from those clowns. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

just wrote a poem for ur girl. no big deal. she hated it

If at any point in your life, you find yourself arguing over the dictionary with a prosecutor in court to find some weasel-word excuses, you have made several very poor choices, regardless of the outcome.

Watch this balding unc fuck up some dudes on his lunchbreak, forearm shiver to make space and hit one foot Kobe fallaways while wearing a tucked in polo

That fact that a third pound burger failed because people thought it was smaller than a quarter pound burger is really all you need to know to understand American politics.

lol no amount of views, clicks, or dollar signs would have me defending my right to exist in front of stupid dangerous people. Like I love myself too much to do that. bsky.app/profile/waga...

lol folks want to "stick it to the bad guys" but don't want to beat the bad guys up. Stop talking to people who are trying to kill you. bsky.app/profile/waga...

We're the sons of the quixotic weirdos who didn't die futile deaths in distant lands

The governing party of the United States is shutting down the federal government to cover-up evidence the president sexually abused children so he can continue trying to implement dictatorship. That's just a true statement about the world!

Not to brag, but I’ve been named a "person of interest" by my local police department.

Is bigfoot just anti-bear propaganda?