oh dear

They all thought we were a small-minded racist little backwater who'd bow down to their hateful rhetoric with little effort on their part. They expect a fight in Brighton Pavilion, they never thought they'd have to fight in Gorton. They were so wrong.

The funniest thing would be if the Labour Party also got arrested today

Hunting by the River, by the pool!

Matt Goodwin lol more like............ more like..................... Matthew SHITHEAD

I was at the count in Gorton and Denton last night and we all saw Matt Goodwin eat ballot papers. His girlfriend and team begged him to stop but he kept stuffing it into his mouth and making grunting sounds like the Cookie Monster

Parrotting Trashfuture a bit but it's so telling that MATT GOODWIN was seen as the electable option, the world's most wildly unpleasant and off-puttingly online man. He's your first draft pick?!

They have fizz as a breakfast option here (ah, Portugal) - I normally wouldn't partake but on this special occasion, a very happy GET FUCKING WRECKED MATT GOODWIN YOU HORRIBLE PRICK to you all! 💚🥂

RIP to a real one

And Matt Goodwin who DID NOT win

Call it misplaced essentialism but not here for smug 'lolz what's a Gortondenton' posts from Americans. YOU'RE making fun of a weird electoral system, my pals?

you know I would say her matching pink phone case really makes this, gives Goodwin a huge "sad loser man at the end of Legally Blonde" vibe

EAT SHIT, GOODWIN

crying in the club* (*at my desk) bc stanley tucci took the USA women's hockey team out for a meal at his favorite restaurant and they gave him his own jersey

I'm hearing from Tory sources that theyre quietly confident that Susan Hall has won Gorton and Denton

...I'M WAITING!

Influencer location: nailed. The look: to be desired.

We had a lovely day in Monte, but I remain extremely bemused by the hotel we found high up the mountain that was - no exaggeration - DESERTED. We saw not a single soul. Jack Torrance whomst.

Waiter at the rooftop bar made fun of my sunburned nose but then deliberately undercharged me for drinks so I'll accept that as a trade-off.

Turns out more friends than I realised live in Gorton & Denton. My mum had no idea an election was even happening.

Hulme, baby, Hulme!

A happy Wednesday to you from on top of the rooftop bar that plays a delightful amount of Queen music.

Hey, I wonder how the Kyle MacLachlan AMA is goi-

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

Swam in a sea water Lido earlier. It was chilly and windy and GREAT.

Sad to be missing @joelycett.bsky.social @ @xsmalarkey.com tonight, especially fresh-ABM/Mandy arrests! Enjoy the silliness, everyone.

s'up pals

"...and there's been another arrest for misconduct in public office but for who Chris Kamara?"

Did a double take in Funchal Cathedral earlier when I saw a relic of a young man wearing, wildly uncharacteristically for the setting, a polo shirt and sunglasses - have now learned the fascinating story of (Saint) Carlo Acutis. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlo_A...

a year is a long time in politics

About to try Madeira wine for the first time. Is this going to end with me dancing on a table?

"John Prescott would be loving this"

Peter Mandelson has been arrested - send up the hater signal. It's once again a poster's holiday.

i want an in car high flash pap shot of mandelson and i want it now.

Terrible time continues.

great news

Ele é só um garotinho!

"bluesky is dying" nobody cares. true posters will write "my dog a chonky boi" or "fuck Matt Yglesias" on a torn rag, stuff it in a bottle, and throw it into the ocean

Delighted to learn that NT is putting this production out on YouTube FOR FREE in March. Been dying to see it based on this clip alone. youtu.be/fid5dBaFgMY?...

Saw this old-timey ship on the sea earlier which made me wistful for Our Flag Means Death. I miss my brief dip back into fandom madness! It was fun!

Take it from me: Earnestly giving a shit to the point of cringe can bring absolutely beautiful things into your life

Phwoar, etc

Got chatting to a Finnish guy in a Utd jacket at the rooftop bar who was delighted to learn that I not only live there, but live walking distance from his Old Trafford heaven. "We're doing good! We're gonna win the League!" - Finnish guy in Madeira laying down his gauntlet.

Happy birthday to this young man, and really to us all

Thirst trap checkpoint.

Having an absolutely terrible time.

Things I forgot to bring on holiday: - Sunglasses - Suncream - Bug spray - Toothbrush & toothpaste - Casual sandals I think antidepressants have made me stupider.

Yeah, this'll do.