Thanks Barret ur right 🌍

SOMEBODY clearly hasn’t called the emergency hotline to go through the neck lump phone tree.

Telling another cowboy to stand down:

You call THIS French Onion Soup?!

I guess this means humans write the headlines at Polygon?

Wishing a happy Brian’s Hat Day to all who celebrate.

Onan the Barbarian. A rugged Hebrew tribal warrior who cannot stop masturbating.

🌈🌈🌈🪻🪻🪻✨✨✨turn off your push notifications for signal (or similar). push notifications are not encrypted and can be retrieved ✨✨✨🪻🪻🪻🌈🌈🌈

r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay

Fun Fact: The name "Fido" is actually just an abbreviation of "financial doberman"

Pope Deepdish should excommunicate All of the US until he's forced out of office

That’s it. I’ve had it. I’m gonna go out and vote.

Today I learned I can read German

To be fair, he was dead just shy of two full days, so “on the third day” is a bit of a stretch for marketing.

Proof that Batman is a billionaire

(nodding as I complete the saying) Wal sober, nut at sea

The most beautiful phrase in English

Patient: I don't think it's working. Doctor: Have you stayed on the dosage schedule? Patient: I've made it to the battle with Alduin but my skin isn't any better. Doctor: *Pinches bridge of nose* I prescribed Skyrizi. Not Skyrim. Patient: Oh. Well that explains a lot.

The only thing I have in common with Clavicular is that we both want to hit him in the face with a hammer.

All motor vehicles should be mass transit only. Personal motor vehicles would be outlawed.

I accidentally captured a picture of my subconscious with the pause button

Mr. President sir, the people want you to die.

Read this if you need a laugh.

first you suck out the curds and then you use your prehensile tongue to extract the succulent nutmeats

If after 9pm, which means it’s time for hot flashes and fart attacks.

INVENTOR: i have just created the push button MARKETING GUY: should i do a press release INVENTOR: that’s how it works, yes

That’s Denver

Procrastination? Don’t get me started.

i don’t like this painting in my hotel

server: doggy bag? me: yes please

You can’t yell “fire” in a crowded theater but no one can stop you from yelling “I have diarrhea”

actually, the oscar went to frankenstein's *costumes*

Pants-less man about to be tackled.

Philippe Chancel's photos of the Nazi hunting Rockabilly street gangs of 80s Paris.

June and I had an idea for a bumper sticker and now it exists in real life

Me watching the BBC Asia documentary: “There’s my boy, the Strait of Hormuz!”

Fun Fact: Claude AI is named after Dario Amodei’s cat. The logo is also based on the same cat’s asshole.

🧵 1/ Happy International Women's Day! Oddly enough, this is a post for men. It's not angry or accusatory. It's a thread asking you to use this occasion to make us feel, and be, less alone in battling inequity, and giving you some ideas of why, what, and how. 🙂 I really encourage men to read it.

Take back your life! Take back your freedom! Carry the hour to Monday afternoon and now the COMPANY springs forward!

living in a walkable city where you can get anywhere you need by walking, by bus, or train is goated in an economic collapsed based entirely on gas prices

#lastfourwatched #letterboxd #filmsky Chris Fleming: Live at The Palace (2026) ★★★★½ Hell or High Water (2016) ★★★½ Videodrome (1983) ★★★½ 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) ★★★★★

This is the game that introduced my barely toddler self to the idea that, at any moment, an adult man might come charging out of his house to stab me to death.

When that tissussy is too tight

Cory Archangel: