random but I just realized that I haven’t been to a wedding or a fancy party in literal years now (I think pre-COVID??). need to put a suit and tie on again just to feel something

had a fun night hanging out with friends, now to take a comically large sip of water and see how three of my favorite sports teams — the Georgia Bulldogs, Washington Huskies, and Atlanta Braves — fared in their games today

eating lunch is goated when being hungry is the vibe

there we go, Hogs

I admittedly laughed out loud at this, but as an SEC school alumnus I promise you that none of the men look this good

“are y’all showing football later?” [guy from Spartanburg, SC] “we’re showing football now, mate 😏”

people watching European soccer on the best Saturday of college football all season are going to be arrested and tried for treason against the United States of America. I am anti-carceral state and take no pleasure in reporting this

guy on the train with a Defector tote bag. um, Performative Man much???

still not cool enough for my liking, but enjoying some slight hints of fall around Brooklyn this morning

woman on the sidewalk gave me an enthusiastic “Go Dawgs!” when she saw my UGA shirt. Dawgs by 60

wow, a big milestone for all of us who grew up with a crush on Winnie Cooper

good morning www.youtube.com/shorts/iyWDM...

holy shit, Tatis just launched a grand slam in the Padres/D-backs game

WAHOOWAH

[referees talking to each other like it’s Apollo 13] Jim, I have a foot Bill, I see a ball Chuck, what do you see JIM, butting in: I have ball. I HAVE BALL

holy shit ahaha

holy fuck

whewwwww that was a thing of beauty

Noles getting pushed around out there

this would also be helpful for the times when I want to post something funny that I think 25% of y’all would appreciate and 75% of y’all would think was completely deranged lol

it’s so funny how my entire tl made fun of the same Mike Norvell pic at the same time, and the pic was just “guy with a goatee” lol

after recuperating from my vaccines for a day and a half, I was back on those Friday beers at the GOAT bar earlier

Braves just got Alek Manoah off waivers? wonder if that dude has anything left in the tank

Talkin Bout the Noles (derogatory)

if y’all ever just do not hear from me for a while, it means I’ve cleaned out my retirement accounts and am bopping around Europe, eating and drinking until I run out of money and/or die

streaming platforms have robbed us of the randomness that used to be both an essential property of tv watching and a quality that mitigated its addictiveness somewhat. we were wholly beholden to whatever happened to be on! if we didn’t like any of it we were obligated to go do something else!

repeating the phrase "full books" as I slam my head against my desk until I pass out

this is INSANE but also why I am skeptical of WAR as the be-all, end-all: I truly don’t know how someone’s defense can be bad enough to be a sub-replacement level player if they get on base 40% of the time

[Renaissance painter guy voice] I call this one…uh…Horny For Jesus. ah shit, that’s what my last three were titled also

re that LRT:

I told you guys

human beings were not meant to sit in boring conference calls in their air-conditioned apartments while scrolling their phones, they were meant to stand around an office wearing nice suits then have three martinis and a steak at lunch

looking at the low temps next week and rubbing my hands together like Birdman thinking of the fits I can start getting off

Aaron Judge this year: 36 intentional walks Most in AL history Barry Bonds in 2004 36 intentional walks... Before June!

Who called it inbox zero and not the mail loneliness crisis

really need a private alt because I took a good thirst trap pic this morning that I’m tempted to post but people would definitely be weird as hell about it

no idea how they’ll end up but style-wise, this Seahawks team feels like a poor man’s version of the 2012-2014 teams: power running/play-action game, don’t ask the QB to do too much, big DL that can apply pressure without blitzing, an athletic, playmaking secondary. loving this type of team

never in doubt

welp

We need to set up the NFC West as their own little league, we can’t risk letting our normal teams catch whatever infection has sprouted in these teams brains

The Weeknd used to make songs about doing drugs and fucking, and now he’s doing Nespresso commercials. another sign of societal collapse

the Baker Mayfield conversation reminds me: he met his wife by sliding into her DMs on Instagram while he was still in college. truly inspirational

alright, score another TD here and squeeze the life out of these bums

Calling timeout to throw a screen for 2 yards is one of the funniest things I've seen in a football game

Seahawks’ D is playing great imo but it also helps that Arizona’s #1 wideout can’t catch and their quarterback is three feet tall

Darnold with the wheels! who knew

Tigers beat the Guardians. The #Mariners have clinched a first-round bye.