dude

well, shit

what idiot called it “something Adam Carolla thinks more contemporary men should be doing” and not Stu Holden

[me, seeing a guy make a pass that I’m guessing only 1% of soccer players in the world can make, to one of the fastest players in the world] why don’t more teams play like this? it would be so much more exciting if they did

nothing but professionalism over here

lol this was also my first job

was going to make a dumb, innocuous post on here but was worried it would become Discourse Fodder so I just decided to text one of my equally online friends about it instead. this is growth

I’ll be spending my birthday commuting to and from work in 97-degree heat for an auditor site visit, so I’m treating myself to working from home and doing very little today. I’m a wild man

quarterly yearnings call

love it when there’s an unhinged hornypost on IG and you can see that it has however many likes but has been sent to someone else 1.2 million times lol

MLB on its All-Star break means I’ll miss my daily activity of “analyzing and tinkering with my fantasy baseball teams” so I’ll need to find another way to waste several small pockets of time every day in the interim

The polar opposite reactions here to the deaths of Sam Neill and Lindsey Graham are such a reminder that we all have a choice whether to live our lives in a way that brings joy or misery to those around us. I think if you’re remembered fondly as Sam Neill is today, you’ve pretty much won at life.

between not having enough storage for clothes and not having hung up all my framed stuff yet, the fit pics have really suffered since moving into my new place. we apologize for the inconvenience -mgmt.

Meanwhile

happy one-month anniversary to the New York Knicks winning the NBA championship

when u die but u keep sucking

OFFICIAL: Sen. Mitch McConnell's team has confirmed that he WILL be participating in the Home Run Derby during the MLB All-Star festivities.

I need to get a lobotomy during my lunch break tomorrow

every time you post, you could have one of your pals say something normal and relatable in response or you could have some random weirdo say some shit to you that makes no sense whatsoever. what a rush!

my night so far

it’s the end of a lazy Sunday and I have no plans so I am very tempted to walk to a bar nearby and have two beers while bullshitting with the bartender, but instead I will be responsible and watch a movie or something while drinking water

that Jorge Polanco AB was one of the most uncompetitive at-bats I’ve seen recently lol

even on Facebook, where some of the most broken brains on earth reside, the news stories of his passing are filled with laugh-reaction emojis and comments ridiculing a pathetic life of zero purpose. imagine being “mourned” that way lol

holy fuck, that shot

a lot of y’all have my phone number, and I just want to say: I want each and every one of you to text/call me when It Happens so we can exchange celebratory “let’s fuckin’ gooooooo”s

I was hanging out here and everyone was saying “the news event of the day is very sad and we should wage war with Iran forever in his honor”

Jannik Sinner and Alexander Zverev on if they have any lucky charms they hold onto before matches Zverev: “My dog and my chains.” Jannik: “No, I need to go to the toilet before, but…” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (via BBC Sport)

sister got me this for my birthday…dawg

i stand corrected

Group Stage of the World Cup of It Happening

that was cool as hell

yikes

please feel free to tell me I’m not a Baller Knower — because that would be accurate — but in all the games I’ve seen so far (I didn’t see the Egypt game), Argentina has seemed pretty unremarkable minus Messi occasionally doing some insane shit. it’s crazy that they’re ranked number one in the world

gotta be honest, a lot of people who (rightly) dunked on that nerd for saying we shouldn’t care about sports because we have a dang Cheeto in charge are the same ones who turn every single sporting event into some sort of wannabe morality play so we end up in the same place on here anyway

Linda Noskova thanks her mom after winning Wimbledon, who passed away just before Wimbledon in 2024 after a long battle with cancer: "There's also one more person I would like to thank, which is my mom. I definitely would not be standing here without her, so thank you." 🥹 "I don't cry normally.."

Crowd Boos After Little Boy Steals Foul Ball From Adorable 42-Year-Old Man

huh, another picture of me where I look like a gargoyle who got smashed in the face with a frying pan. so weird that the camera/angle/lighting is distorted every single time someone takes a picture of me; I guess it’s just the world’s biggest coincidence

sunset went crazy last night

sister got me this for my birthday 😮‍💨

saw a clip of a comedian (woman) a while back who had a bit about how sharing YouTube videos is like a mating ritual for a lot of men and whew buddy, she was not lying

Eats, Shits & Leaves (Truss, 2003)

there’s a commercial that keeps airing here during Wimbledon that’s from the state of New York, trying to recruit social media professionals or other teenagers to help design an anti-drugs and alcohol ad campaign aimed at teens “that isn’t cringe” lol

“Hey, you like tennis? Here’s some other shit!”

babe wake up, tickets for the U.S Open Finals Afterparty featuring Zedd are on sale today

I know this guy has a Bluesky account.

I thought this was a cool pic, even though my place is still only half-decorated

Mad Men S5 E11 (“The Other Woman”): holy shit, what a television show. that could have been a three-hour movie and I would have watched every second of it

do you think dr pepper and mr pibb ever explored each others bodies

This always makes me think of Baldwin. www.themarginalian.org/2017/05/24/j...

someone just shared this on Twitter. so good