costco ascension 0: 1h46m clear / achievements: *starter glizzy: applied hot dog buff before taking cart *cheap drunk: 2+ bottles of vodka at checkout costco ascension 14: 26m clear / achievements: *kirkland kaution: didn't add any new products to cart *small sample size: declined all snack buffs

Spotted on Tumblr…

For $96 a month he better be posting feet

the atlanta hawks have now joined the "30-point club," having scored at least 30 points in a single game

this is the same type of posting they did when cracker barrel changed its logo

MrBeast Co: “We have finally created the 100% liable corporation from the annual HR training, ‘Don’t Create the 100% Liable Corporation’!”

Everyone got that one guy in the group chat who grants an AoE debuff to the riffs

Blofeld: I'm afraid you've They'd your last Them, Mist- I mean, um, Non-binary Bond: It's still Mr Bond, thank you

I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The stuff which I find funny Is also kind of sad

Why did they put Callista Gingrich's picture in the thumbnail

i can hear it

check out this perfect dome on this corn cob

Could this work?

In every Republican presidency of my lifetime there's been a recession and a new war in the Middle East.

Dr. Ahmad Hassan just made his post-election statement

If they want me back they have to go fully Woke 2, sorry. Whole hog. I gotta be able to get an abortion there

For their many sins, Radiologists should have to do clinic visits where they go through every slice of scans while patients go "what is that. What is that. Ok what is that. What's that smudge? What is that? Doesn't look like nothing to me!!! THERE! right 🫵 there. Is that cancer? What is that. OMG wh

this week we surveyed 1,000 americans dumb enough to click the link in a bot text. the results will shock you

Sup chat this is Slouching Towards Bethlehem with your boy The Rough Beast, and it looks like today’s stream could be a big one, as some of you might’ve already seen there are rumors going around social media that the hour has come round at last, so we’re gonna get right into it

It’s disappointing when an author does or says something morally reprehensible and forever taints any joy we used to derive from their art. There’s always debate about whether or not we should continue to consume their works. But I think it’s trickier for more collaborative arts like movies:

The drugs.com AI is working spectacularly well

In England the ad campaign was 'Slip into a Slender James'

lmfao "my politics are NOT inscrutable, i think everyone should have healthcare but some people should starve"

What's up Bluesky! My name is Chris, I'm 42, I'm a software engineer at a start up that is disrupting the debt collection space, Xaya the busty pansexual lemur is my OC

texas, you are missing out on a once in a lifetime opportunity to send this man to washington d.c. if you do not vote for him

Barbisol tastes so good when you don’t got a barber in your ear going my liquid my liquid

👍

(walking up to an ape who is using a stick to scoop ants out of a rotting log and eat them) let me get a bite of those ants

A traveler from an antique land--great guy--said to me with tears in his eyes "Sir, two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert." And I said wow, that's really something. But we'll be building a big beautiful statue to my hubris and it will stand for eternity

If Bilbo had Chat GPT

big papa huge time is a jovial…JUBILANT cat as proven by his big grin and closed eyes…whenever you can, be happy like big papa huge time! he is happy and joyous, enjoying the moment; just like how you should allow yourself to be! be like big papa huge time!

the 45,000 gun deaths we suffer each year are just the price we pay to live in a society made safe from government tyranny by an armed populace

nine years old

I'm over it

I did my part today and let a insurance physician reviewer who denied a sleep study that they were a scourge to medicine and that I hope they don't have a sense of fulfillment in what they chose to do for a living

Ina Garten is kind of mother, really *My nurse charts A&O x1 before spoon feeding me Seroquel applesauce*

If loving your wife is unc, I don’t wanna be nephew

Bread

There are only two types of groupchats: wife guy chat and weepy horny chat

Had a patient that hadn't come in 2 years because I told her that her CPAP was NOT causing her knee pain. Halfway through the visit she said "you are being so nice, the last person I saw here was so ugly to me" and I cheerily said "oh that was me! 😇" she looked like this for the rest of the visit

all my enemies are fucking morons, which really makes things feel so much worse

The real work of the clinician isn't to diagnose the disease, or even find the right treatment. It's wrapping the medicine in a hotdog so the patient will take it