This is why I won’t read your Substack, people.

Even if you did a lil freelance bit for WaPo 20 years ago, your data has been compromised.

England dogging a 1-0 lead in the semifinals and then playing so loosely in the 3rd place game is so ACC coded

Is the third place match being played at Agincourt?

Well... bsky.app/profile/mich...

High Bee > High T

please help my friend. she honestly can’t catch a break. 💜

When I worked at this bar in Old City, one day the boss put GoMo on a pitcher special and I told him it was the worst idea in history and it was gonna be trouble but instead everyone was so drunk in the place that they went right past rowdy into dead silence. So hammered that no one could speak

Broke some news tonight that the 30 year old federal court, the Alien Terrorist Removal Court, got its first case ever and created a hastily made website. www.courtwatch.news/p/alien-terr...

fourteen new states it is then! Morgan Griffith Introduces Bill to End Birthright Citizenship in U.S. Territories morgangriffith.house.gov/news/documen...

Then we can stop focusing on Mamdani once the candidates in Trump +2 districts have learned such broad (even banal) lessons as “be a good communicator” and “build coalitions”. Or when we stop nominating people who can’t learn those lessons. P.S. Mamdani might be a LaGuardia in the fullness of time.

Andy Green said of MLB’s increased limitations on iPad usage, as reported by @enosarris this week: “I care about that about as much as I care about game times changing… whatever the rules are, we remain compliant.”

My “We are fully compliant as of now” t-shirt is raising a lot of questions about our prior compliance status.

not loving this sale, kroger

We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1!

Pardon me while I go panic about the explosive diarrhea parasite a little bit.

I hope they were arguing about punts

If you didn’t want him at his worst, you don’t deserve him at his best. But they probably should trade him anyway because he’s a 26 y.o. 1B/DH with only one year of arb control left.

To be bougie in America, and I am, I’m a class traitor but I’m bougie til I die… is to be at a farmer’s market, buying an heirloom tomato, in a haze of smoke from 1000 miles away AGAIN, and being able to reconcile these two mutually hostile truths

One cool feature Bluesky could add is the ability to scroll down in the goddamned alt text input box

The Nationals Cyclospora 🤝 Blowing Out A’s

Imagine thinking war crimes is “using American power for good” but USAID is government overreach. Miss me with that kind of energy and creativity.

Washingtonian magazine’s food editor Jessica Sidman speaks with WAMU about her investigation into a “mafia” of unlicensed food trucks spreading high prices, food borne illness and confusion for tourists and residents trying to just get a snack on the National Mall.

Swallows the driver too. The underworld was looking for a fight. See what those undead boys could do. Everything dies, baby that’s a fact But maybe everything that dies, some day comes back Get everything you need to kill zombies, kiddy, And meet me tonight up in old charm city.

Couldn’t agree more, Kurt.

Pulled it myself

It’s Delaware, The Highway Construction State.

Hellmouth season starts earlier every year.

The Proud Buoys are loose. www.texastribune.org/2026/07/17/t...

taco bell isn’t fully off the hook because they’re a diarrhea vector, and they did serve the diarrhea lettuce. it’s not purely taco bell’s fault though. so i guess you can charge taco bell with (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) unearned runs

the air quality today = Ovechkin grilling

FOX soccer announcer: There’s the President, enjoying the game with FIFA President Gianni Infantino, we certainly hope he’s enjoying the action tonight in a great moment for him and our country TELEMUNDO ANNOUNCER: ¡ES EL GRAN NARANJA!

Sen. Schrödinger (R-KY)

Nice thing about the #Nats second half starting off with 3 games in Sacramento is that it’s functionally a three day extension of the all star break for me.

“I’m @readuction.bsky.social, I drink the milk that doesn’t have nanobots in it. Look at me!”

This Gallon of Flex Seal can fix pretty much anything. It would be great if for some reason you needed to seal a very large reflecting pool. shoplowes.me/4bKyy3S

Did they leave a note?

Just proving their point, really

My very cool job is Executive Director of the Jamestown Rediscovery Foundation. We were recently featured on @pbsnews.org and in @theguardian.com! Both center on our efforts to mitigate flooding caused by climate change. And if you want to support us, feel free! historicjamestowne.org/support/

ENOUGH!!! RALLY ROUND THE BELL!! SCHOOL WALKIOUT MONDAY AT 12 TELL EVERYONE

Frankly, we don’t give the @nationals.com enough shit for trading this guy for a AAA pitcher who appears to be worse in all respects. It’s not like they’re running Littell and Mikolas out there every 5th day or anything.

Frankly this seems like judicial overreach.

The Gray Havens, LOTR: The Return of the King (2003)

I miss Popehat.

If this were a joke by the Editor-in-Chief of “Science” it would be a very good joke. Unfortunately it appears to be sincere.

This isn't how that works, bro. Get a real job