Took that man’s soul with the crossover hezi

Yung Shooter on the pitch for the Arsenal

Every Israeli soldier could solve this problem by simply killing one single person on one day, and then they'd never have to do it again.

Rick Carlisle fucking hates Rick Brunson’s son.

Maybe it’ll happen

Nikola Myopič

Bam Adebifocals

Somehow 16 Oz of 11% beer is more potent than 500 ml of 13.5% wine. Maybe it loses potency in the metric conversion? This fuckin shit is moonshine.

Thinking about getting so high I have a panic attack and then listening to Massive Attack Mezzanine at full blast to overstimulate my sympathetic nervous system so thoroughly that nothing could possibly make me afraid for like a good year or two.

To the tune of Uncle Freddy Died?: “Netanyahu died?”

If she does it with a Delco accent I’m in.

They said it was impossible to make a Cuck Shoe. Our syphilitic president and his coterie of lil’ guys proved them all very wrong.

Lol Kershaw looks like he’s been living on whole milk and wonder bread.

League is soft. Bam couldn’t score 83 against the AI 1994 Knicks powered by Claude©️

telling my child in 30 years that bam adebayo played against vibe coders and doordashers

What idiot called him Bam and not Whack Mamba

THIRTY SEVEN FREE THROW ATTEMPTS

Bro I can’t tell you how cooked the Zionist project is when relatively normal kids in the Midwest are describing their bad days with the phrase, “Today was Israel.”

Me and my friends would beat Tilly to death with hammers, I can tell you that much.

It was the right move, Dog.

The phrase is “Be Gay, Do Crimes” not “Be Gay, Talk About The Crimes You Commit.” The shoplifting game is to be sold not told.

Returning to the Carter 70s has always been Trump’s deepest desire. Before he took a bite of the Epstein apple. Before AIDS. When Times Square was 80% porno and 20% Broadway. When a well done steak and a martini with ice cubes was haute cuisine. He wants to go back there and die. We should help him.

Drop them all at The Hague

Today is the day women became President

Who's going to cast it that way, @jaketapper.bsky.social, you dumb zionist twat? And are you going to challenge them on it when they do, you dumb zionist knob?

Way too many Jalens in the NBA

Was not prepared for how true this is 🤣

Garnacho looks like a flaming Rockabily Skull with skin

Genuinely one of the best and most accessible analogies I’ve seen. Write better songs! Play them better! Sometimes you have to write a hit if you want a big audience! You’re the band on stage here, not me! Are you dim?

Something that speaks to a sudden decline in our society is the amount of people I’ve seen lately approaching stop signs and then going right through them like “nope, don’t believe in this anymore!”

Damn Smith

But if you can keep him clean and keep his crunchyroll account paid up… you might have yourself a solid piece of work

Challenge: prove that there aren’t nanoscopic clockwork elves turning little gear cranks in the middle of every quark.

Replying to every woman’s story on IG with “There she is” and just seeing what happens because I think 2016 is coming back bigly.

Just seen on a variance application: "I own a childcare ministry, which is operating out of a residential class two structure. I am looking to get structure up too cold to become a class one structure." Trying to get a structure "Up too cold" is amazing.

@npr.org 1A doing the rational liberal passive voice “The war in Iran is expanding” and trying to talk about it a cooly measured toned sounds fucking INSANE. Girl, listen to yourself. You are talking about The US triple tap bombing school. Go take a toaster bath.

Lindy West? Profiled in the New York Times?! About her polyamorous marriage?!?! WOKE IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS LFGOOOOOOOOOO

🎶I don't care because they both suh-uck anyway I don't care about that🎶

Rivers Cuomo voice: 🎵Ooo Weee Oooo, Secretary Markwayne Mullin Oh-Oh, is replacing Kristi Noem🎵

Officially old enough where, upon rewatch, I’m saying first season Arrested Development Jessica Walter can get it.

Rivers Cuomo voice: 🎵Ooo Weee Oooo, Secretary Markwayne Mullin Oh-Oh, is replacing Kristi Noem🎵

The first class action lawsuit against corporations engaging in aura farming is going to really challenge the boundaries of our legal system.

I think I originally saved this clip on my phone like 7 or 8 years ago. Dropping the kernel of it here just because, I don’t know, sometimes you have to keep pointing at the stupid monster and calling it a stupid monster, emphasizing both the stupidity and the monstrousness.

Just got tickets to see Brenn Lukens open for Jeff Rosenstock in Chicago. (Semi)MOBO comeback might save the world.

I hope Eve Fartlow gets pancaked by a dump truck

In Woke 2, we're shutting down the rat-runners. Stay on the main roads, Lebowski!

“HE FELL FOR THE SOUP!!”

President Analrapist.

This is the Tobias Funkë administration.

Big fucking magnet. Mystery solved, officer.