Terrible batting average but still pretty well known as a hitter.

Hearing the average American Gen-Xer yap about taxes and theories of fair taxation is like listening to a beagle who thinks it can talk and has to tell you about every chipmunk, jogger, and mailman like they’re a national security risk. Buddy, eat your kibble and relax.

I want to know who/what is subsidizing J Brooks at this point. Is it just wealthy boomers and Lilly folks who don’t cook anymore? These are the most insane hours I’ve ever seen.

I think more people still know who Spitz is than Scwarbs. After Spitz, David Blase might be the non-bball/fball Indiana University athlete who is culturally most well-known. People probably don’t know his name, but I bet more people have seen Breakjng Away than watch baseball at this point.

The only good plantation houses were the ones that burned. Knock it down immediately or it will become the throne room for the next Chud who gets the office.

Say what you will about the tenets of MAGA, Obama getting arrested for treason based upon the slanderous accusations of Lady Jigsaw would be objectively funny.

Diet Coke drinkers in a week:

Clean up your trash, losers

This clip of Trump’s mom that the Majority Report played is one of the most Wicker Man-subtext-loaded videos I’ve ever seen and I feel like @davidjroth.bsky.social needs to know about it, though my intuition tells me he already does via some connection to the old gods

Lol NPR is doing Jonathan Pollard rehabilitation. Jesus Christ, they are fucking captured.

Isiah Thompson and Magic Jordan are my favorite 90s style basketballers

Starting a substack called “Smashing my own dick and balls sure makes these billionaires toss money at me, this must mean I’m doing good journalism,” and then continuing to hit my nut sack with a ball peen hammer while pedophile tech oligarchs throw quarters at my eyes.

tfw you’ve been reading too much Gordon Wood

I call him Merde Dick Garland because he does nothing but shit on his own dick and balls.

This motherfucker Obama is the coach of The Washington Generals asking for the Globetrotters to play fair.

Slenderman ass Holmgren

If I had a time machine I'd change the course of history by visiting the set of News Radio, killing Andy Dick, and then framing Joe Rogan for the murder.

As someone almost 50 years old, whenever I break my “No goddamn amphetamines” rule, I feel like the most desiccated piece of shit for three or four days after. I cannot imagine being 50+ and being in a gack cycle like all these fiends. Look at this wiggly sniffy ass motherfucker.

Vaccines are the safest, most life-prolonging, overall-health improving, side-effect minimal, medical intervention in history. If you want to be skeptical about them, that’s your choice, but you have to go live underwater while you do that.

just a historical note that I never miss an opportunity to bring up, Taibbi infamously fought (and overruled) the Rolling Stone fact checkers who flagged that the vampire squid does not actually have a blood funnel with which to jab anything

New Trump Virus just dropped

Hate to say it but it’s Sober Bands.

Wwwwhahahhhhaattt the fuckkkkkk

This fucking match is insane

If the other team played the fucking ball he can’t be offsides

90s Babes (driving semi-trucks over my prone body)

Jèrèmy Goku

The Hammers Agency. Any unmanned technology that hurts you gets reported to the Me and My Friends With Hammers Agency.

Dombrowski signed this guy to 7 @ $21 million per on his way out the door.

To the tune of Montell Jordan’s “This Is How We Do It”: 🎶RUDY GIULIANI🎶

I hope he and Mo Atta have a good time pulling spoofs and goofs on each other.

A Villa comeback would be pretty funny

Joyce manor was right..... suck a titty by the ocean....

Trump take plane

If I were the board I would simply chute the guy in the head at the next meeting and keep the 158 Billion dollars for the company.

Me when I forget to turn on the microwave

Nuggets with zero motion

Mugabe should be the name of a food and Spanikopita should be the name of a dictator

What if Graham Platner was Dominican and could really hit the ball?

Kevin Durant is dressed like he’s supposed to be standing behind Sen Dog in a Cypress Hill video.

Jan Six Jackson

lol www.wishtv.com/news/politic...

A little on the nose, don’t you think Apple photo widget?

She wax on my hatchee ‘til I come right back to it.

Everyone in the United States just wants a reason to genuinely celebrate, a reason to cry out in ecstatic joy, a reason to stagger through the streets, drunkenly kissing strangers. Every single person who is not a dyed in the wool MAGA psycho knows what will happen that day

Shout-out to the Bond movies for making an evil tech founder a super-villain back in 1985, at least 25-30 years before the rest of us caught on.

The guys who wrote Mr. Brightside and Decoration Day aren't on here. Drone strike this newspaper right now.