The last paragraph of Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said is the most unexpectedly poignant and beautiful thing I've ever read

In one of those social media spirals where I am watching a large account disregard experts and the truth and I am refreshing my feed faster and faster and saying things like "stop fucking lying about figure skating" under my breath

And Sam Darnold, who was NOT out indefinitely

My terrible 90 days of working for an agency contained a 1:1 with my boss where I said that I did not like that the job's default was for action and change when the client is in a very good position right now Boy did I have an angry glare directed my way

“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it

i have been thinking about this nonstop after i saw it for the first time last night. this is an immaculately crafted joke. maybe the best joke ive ever seen

I enjoy the suggestion that generative AI is a lousy lay

I needed six seasons and a movie of Raising Hope

My favorite artifact in the "you don't need AI to do art" discourse is, of course, screenwriter Dan O'Bannon's sketch of the facehugger to explain it to Giger.

we gotta open the schools…or close down the schools. not sure. yikes

JD Vance going to Italy like Francis I in 1525, and with a similar result (humiliated in or around Milan)

The third, ascended form of William Petersen

Anyone who says nihilism can’t be fun hasn’t partied with The Bleak Boys

It hurts the first time, but you kind of get used to it. Just make sure you hydrate beforehand

Already reposted the quoted post but just started cracking up all over again because I can’t believe we saw a wholesome example of this exact format in the wild

i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired

IMPORTANT OLYMPIC NEWS: THE POLISH FIGURE SKATING TEAM HAS A PLUSH PIEROGI

Oink for the pigman

No fucking way

I'd recognize that shitty writing and holier-than-thou writing anywhere

It’s so strange to simultaneously think ‘I wish this person were president now’ along with ‘I hope this person is never president’

i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit

fell victim to one of the classic blunders (opening threads) and was immediately subjected to whatever the fuck this is

man's always hated books and the people who love them tbh

“play la marseillaise”

Marimar Martinez, shot by federal agents in Chicago, testifying in Washington today:

And it *ruled*

Magazine cartoons are good.

preoccupied with whether or not/didn't stop to think etc

Three ancient cities with thousands of years of combined written history and they still couldn't invent the Chicago-style hot dog Medium talents

The European mind simply cannot fathom how thicc Chicago is.

NFL wide receiver: the enemy sings sweetly & holds a *knife*

they sent me to space to find aliens but i only found myself - rupi kaur

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, everything was totally fucked up. this is the story of three losers, a wolfman, and their two robot friends

It sucks when you find out you’re the only true believer

The weirdest place on the internet is the comment section of Nancy cartoons. People respond as if they're true stories. I have been reading them for three years, and I thought it was kayfabe, but it *is not*

sometimes bad things happen to bad people and i think that’s beautiful

This tribute is so touching, to me

Yeah but what if the Melania movie was called Seven Samurai instead? And then when you went to see it they just showed you Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai? I bet you liberals would *love* it then. Typical.

Walked past a child and her mom on the sidewalk. Heard the kid say "mommy. That man was walking—" And I was out of earshot before I heard what I assume was going to be an absolutely devastating critique of my body and mannerisms

Noam Chomsky and Stephen Pinker say Epstein was an intellectual force with a mind like steel trap and then his e-mails read like the ending of Flowers for Algernon.

Just say Neil Gaiman, this is taking forever.

[emits strangled vowel sounds, wheezes, tugs at collar]

Close, but that was the wrong one from Home Alone 2.

Goddammit