Read the thread 🧵 👇🏼

Periodically, this @pftompkins.bsky.social bit about the quality clientele he would encounter during his time working at a novelty hat shop will bubble up in my brain and then, having delighted me once again, will recede into the depths to await its next surprise visit...

KWP. 3-1. ALL OVER NOW!!! YOU EYE RONS. ⚒️

#COYI #WHU

"World's first potential trillionaire has killed 600,000 people, including 400,000 children" is the only headline that anyone should ever read about Elon Musk

Always amazed by people who have watch parties for their favourite TV shows. If I was ever forced to attend one, it would be remembered for me shouting ‘CAN EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE?’

Ok, it's done. It's out. No 'beta version' excuses allowed now. Here's the review of the full release version of Football Manager 2026. trackrecordmedia.org/2025/11/05/f...

Southampton have sacked Will Still with the side 21st in the Championship following the 2-0 loss to Preston.😇 .

Make that an hour. Proper performance from the team today and a drop of hope splashed into to the rather gloomy outlook. Might actually watch a football highlights programme later. #WHUNEW

Some seriously committed and determined performances from West Ham players there to see out the win. Fist pumps for tackles and fouls won from Bowen, Paquetá, Diouf + more since the 60th minute

Every Saturday afternoon on 5 live; Ian Dennis is consistently outstanding; commentary and score updates with the context to them all; Radio at its best when Denno is operating.

@mattgreencomedy.com brilliant show in London. 2 shows for the price of 1. BOGOF? I am sure there is a heckle about the blind pigeon and was it the right wing that hit you. Not clever enough to think of it. See you in Brighton!

hearing teams look more coherent when you don't stick everyone out of position, more on this as we get it

A mother with settled status whose child is disabled. The father is British by birth. They have received DLA for the child. A Tory government would deport her? I'd really like any Conservative who has ever talked about the "party of the family" to explain why this is the right thing to do.

So this guy (1) wasn't a teacher, (2) didn't get sacked, as he was actually a temp employed by an agency, and (3) made some social media posts about "problems we have in the country such as young girls getting raped" which a head teacher thought were racist. www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk...

Emily was no help

The eternal pressure for a woman: to have hands the size of bears in the textin' and hands the size of pixies in the pocketin'.

as someone who has 1) been drunk in multiple countries and 2) got tattoos while drunk on multiple occasions but 3) does not have even one vaguely Nazi-related tattoo, I am around for all TV, radio and podcast appearances as an expert in the matter

This is where it all went wrong. When Pablo left😢

My £40m CB just lost an aerial to Mikkel Damsgaard. Help.

Free pass to #6, free turn and unpressured ball over the top. You just will not get away with defending that poorly from the front.

Louvre Thieves Given Immunity After Confirming Jewels Stolen For Purpose Of Training AI Software https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2025/10/20/louvre-thieves-given-immunity-after-confirming-jewels-stolen-for-purpose-of-training-ai-software/

The horror of emerging from a recording session to find a message from your husband saying that one of the cats has had a digestive malfunction and has “Donald Trumped the whole flat”

Of course, yes, this guy is the robber. It’s friggin Arsene Lupin the gentleman thief. But spare a moment for the others here. bsky.app/profile/drsk...

an Italian restaurant in Highgate has closed and they’re not happy, I mean really ‘what a sad little life Jane’ not happy

Fitting send off for a fine fella today. #RIPDickieBird #cricket

Films: We need to hack a keycard, obtained by seducing one of the guards. We then need to drop in from the skylight after jumping from a plane, and dodge all of the lasers and traps, carefully switching the jewels for fakes that weigh the same to avoid tripping the alarm. Real life:

Has anyone questioned him? #louvre

On my way to BRISTOL for my show tonight. The Comedy Box is a great venue and the pub does good food so come along and have a laugh! www.thecomedybox.co.uk/site/301.asp...

The jenrick football thing is just more evidence of nostalgia for something that didn’t exist and you would hope it might set off alarm bells among followers but more prob won’t

It's hard for us to appreciate the true scale of Mount Everest. So to put it in a context that we can all understand, here's a comparison chart showing the height of Mount Everest alongside other tall things

people will criticize your dreams. "you can't marry the moon." "being sad is not a real job." "stop summoning the devil." ignore them. be real. be yourself. start a cult.

Glad to see Nigel Farage has finally remembered Nathan Gill, former leader of Reform in Wales - found guilty of taking bribes from Russia. Maybe he'll now remember how much he took from Putin's propaganda broadcaster Russia Today for all his TV appearances when he was a MEP?

The thing about the Joe Wicks protein bar is like yes if you purposefully put 100 bad ingredients into something it will be bad. It feels like me inventing cyanide gummies and being like wow they look me do this, what a world but the reality is we don’t sell cyanide gummies

A thread of inspirational quotes from two of my idols: Kemi Badenoch and Ange Postecoglou (uh-oh, I may have gotten some mixed up... or have I??) 🧵

I think I'd describe this as "unsparing".

Indeed, it really is ridiculous how much it needs restating that it is the cost of living and services that are central here. This is why these voters elected Labour; it’s why they’re pissed off.

Comedian goes to Saudi Arabia - and beyond!

Just happy to see Potts play. Smart early sub for Magassa on a yellow with a tendency to go to ground. Potts assured with the ball, not at all outmatched or overawed. To go to academy talent rather than Irving or Rodriguez is a huge plus point for Nuno imo. Brave to do in your first game. #whufc

Boooooowwwweeeennnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

Happy birthday to my friend @elizabethammon.bsky.social whose healthy diet remains an inspiration:

Youth Opportunities Programme 1976-83 Youth Training Scheme 1983-89 Youth Training TECs 1989-mid90s Modern Apprenticeships 1994-98 New Deal for Young People 1998-2010 Traineeships 2013- Kickstart Scheme 2020-22 Youth Unemployment UK 2012- UK Youth Programmes 2021- Youth Guarantee Trailblazer 2024-