Pretend you're a professional tennis player by going to the supermarket, pick up 3 green apples, look at them for a second & then throw one of them away

Cartoons with added Goodfellas

Melania Trump 💁‍♀️

Less than a month to go for our next live show in Glasgow! Get your tickets here www.thestand.co.uk/performance/...

Storm Dave sounds like it gonna turn up & help you move an old couch to the tip

My wife pointed out Leonardo Dicaprio is starting to look more and more like Benny Hill and I can’t unsee it now #oscars

What a great time I had mixing with the stars at last night's Oscar ceremony #Oscars

My favourite Bullseye moments

Hats off to whoever did this (and the beautiful model).

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

Demi Moore's full name is Demimoore-Demimoore Didyougetveryfar?

NEW EPISODE DAY!! From Marty Supreme to The Big Racoon Adventure Of Paris. In this episode Stu & Joe discuss, among other things, the uselessness of science fiction doors and what happens when potatoes go to war. “He’s a high kicking flank of silverside.” www.buzzsprout.com/2208783

New socks

Worst bus journey ever

James Horner’s score for THE ROCKETEER (1991) is some of the best work of his career and it deserves to be celebrated more.

Every time I listen to the music of Sergio Mendes, I can't help thinking of this photo of him and his band with Harrison Ford in 1970, just after Ford had finished building a recording studio in Sergio's back garden. I like to think Mendes later went to see Star Wars & shouted "That's my carpenter!"

I've never watched Call The Midwife. Here's what I think it's about

NEW EPISODE DAY!! From Ben Hur to Culloden-A-Gogo. In this episode Stu & Joe discuss, among other things, the animated version of Basic Instinct and Marilyn Monroe; nightclub bouncer. "I can't believe the grandfather clock was a puffer fish." www.buzzsprout.com/2208783

Your podcasts will never be as cool as this.

Die Hard with dialogue from A Muppet's Christmas Carol.

Cracking new episode

the coop this evening with possibly the most baffling musical choice i have ever experienced in a supermarket

Catch up with the latest episode

Noel Edmonds: Who’s the first Noel? His wife: Oh God. Not again. Him: Do it. Her (wearily): You’re the first Noel. *lovemaking commences*

Maga: Drag artists & same sex marriages have destroyed the morality of the United States Also Maga: Seriously though, is raping a child really that bad?

Everything's better with googly eyes

New episode day and it's an absolute belter open.spotify.com/episode/6Yv2...

This is happening tomorrow night in Glasgow. Get your tickets here www.thestand.co.uk/performance/...

Emily was no help

This snooker table is fuckin' huge

How to deal with an attacker

While Stu & Joe get geared up for Season 2, please enjoy this fine example of mirthful quizzery from the archives of our Patreon page. Enjoy. www.buzzsprout.com/2208783

NEW EPISODE DAY!! From Thursday Murder Club to Lambs Of God. In this episode Stu & Joe discuss, among other things, a vengeful ghost mouse and a murderous, rage-filled backside. "I've got teethproof skin.” www.buzzsprout.com/2208783

The existence of Betty Boo doing the do implies the existence of Betty Boothroyd doing the doothroyd

Get your tickets here for another live recording at The Glasgow Stand at the end of October. It's bound to be another top laugh www.thestand.co.uk/performance/...

Here's my stupid face with a new haircut. I hope you smashers are keeping well & remember, most folks are bloody aces

Really funny new episode. Give it a listen open.spotify.com/episode/07XU...

open.spotify.com/episode/562K... Brilliant new episode with the fantastically funny Gareth Waugh

Here's Christopher Walken performing the theme tune to Are You Being Served

New episode day! It's a special live show recorded at the Edinburgh fringe. ://open.spotify.com/episode/2wxTD5lHYxV15gLivfQDoc?si=r-xwHfuSS5iQSha1tyyY6A

From Poltergeist to The Spirit Of Amour. In this episode Stu & Joe discuss, among other things, why gangsters and rock music don't mix and the risks of having an affordable hatchback care for your child. "Low sugar Ribena for you next time." www.buzzsprout.com/2208783

Catch up with the latest episode open.spotify.com/episode/2lIM...

Tomorrow night! Get your tickets here www.thestand.co.uk/fringe/2435/...

Belting new episode open.spotify.com/episode/2lIM...

Knew it

He got their asses

Really funny new episode. Give it a listen open.spotify.com/episode/4aCN...

Trump in Scotland.

LIVE SHOW NEWS!! We've managed to secure a time and a place for a live show in Glasgow at the prestigious Stand Comedy Club no less. Tix and details are here - www.thestand.co.uk/performance/...