Troutman
@robotrowboat.bsky.social
📤 506
📥 82
📝 139
@robotrowboat elsewhere
Ok I'll bite. Baby is on board with what?
11 days ago
0
10
0
I mean, what child doesn't love an abused fish?
about 1 month ago
0
7
0
I wish I loved anything half as much as little kids love showing you how fast they can run.
about 1 month ago
0
5
0
still find it hard to believe that some people look down at their innocent newborn baby boy and think ahh yes I'll call him Geoff
about 1 month ago
3
5
0
[milking grimace] oh god too much milk
about 2 months ago
0
6
1
Inventor of getting attacked by a bear: Hey let’s go for a hike in the woods Inventor of not getting attacked by a bear: No thanks
about 2 months ago
0
14
0
[to the realtor showing me a property on sesame street] wait is that a vampire
2 months ago
0
13
0
dang exactly how much 69-ing did Bryan Adams do that summer??
2 months ago
0
8
1
Turtle 1: It’s cool how we always carry our house with us Turtle 2: Which is also our coffin Turtle 1: What the fuck’s wrong with you, Jeff?
2 months ago
0
23
5
FOUND: Flying fish. Colorful feather-like scales. Can talk w/ limited vocab. Sneaky eyes. Refuses to stay in water.
2 months ago
1
21
6
Malcolm Towards The End
2 months ago
0
9
0
[hiking in bear-filled woods] Friend: Wait do you have food in your pockets? Me: Haha no why would I have ham in my pockets? Friend: I didn’t say ham Me: Ok detective
2 months ago
0
6
0
Me: So what’s this lowlife in for? Zookeeper: Again, this isn’t animal prison
3 months ago
0
12
0
Take me down to the Paradox City where the grass is green and the grass isn't green
3 months ago
0
15
1
Boss: Let’s put this matter aside for the time being Me: [looking around nervously] Can only you see the time being? Boss: Huh? Me: Is it standing near me? Boss: Who? Me: [on verge of panic attack] The time being
3 months ago
0
143
52
[inventing the hot air balloon] I don't give a fuck where I go
3 months ago
11
587
156
Wolverine’s mom: If you’re going out take your brother with you Wolverine: But Mom he’s so weird Listerine: Nothing weird about fresh breath
3 months ago
0
66
17
If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.
3 months ago
20
3893
925
Hi Barbara? Yeah I just saw the posters you put up and no, I have not seen your cat but I'd love to. Is now a good time to come take a look?
3 months ago
2
145
30
Me: If I give you another piece of fruit, do you promise not to throw it? Chuck Berry: Maaaaybe
3 months ago
0
7
0
the world is an umpire
5 months ago
0
3
0
a reading from Paul's first letter to Penthouse Forum
6 months ago
0
27
5
[misfortune cookie] that wasn't pork
7 months ago
0
14
3
everyone assumes my shirts are always covered in dandruff and that's fine I just let them because it's actually parmesan
7 months ago
0
2
0
the clash: should I stay or should I go now? me: what'll happen if you go? the clash: there will be trouble me: and what'll happen if you stay? the clash: it will be double me: well I'm no genius but the answer seems pretty obvious to me
7 months ago
1
12
1
We are all God's children. Except for you, Jeff. You were adopted.
8 months ago
0
3
0
Goofing off in high school?
8 months ago
1
3
2
I would not trust the first person who called them "sneakers". What are you up to in those things?
8 months ago
0
2
0
judge: your record shows you're a repeat offender me: a what? judge: repeat offender me: offender haha
8 months ago
0
7
2
Load more
feeds!
log in