Bloody hell Ireland.

Ilford is not in Essex and hasn't been since 1965. #EubankBenn #BennEubank

Post an image that will always make you laugh

Taskmaster's just brilliant isn't it?

The more I hear about this guy Epstein, the less I like him. Anyone else feel the same??? Something off about him

Heart FM plays in my office, typically from 8am. Here's this morning's playlist FOR ACTUAL FUCKS SAKE.

I noted on Sunday that there's not a single flag tied to a lamppost between The Olympic Park and Leyton Station. Come on you big brave patriotic men. Surely you're not just targeting predominantly white areas where there is little chance of resistance to your actions? Isn't the flag for EVERYONE?

Put that on fucking Netflix Ryan.

Elderly referees ahead.

Important news @lordshortcake.bsky.social @louisepepper.bsky.social

Make that an hour. Proper performance from the team today and a drop of hope splashed into to the rather gloomy outlook. Might actually watch a football highlights programme later. #WHUNEW

Another one with their violent honour-based imported culture...

West Ham proudly enter their 15th minute of being ahead this season. Presumably it'll be the 30th by the time we kick off again...

You might say loo, lavvy or bog but round here we call it a

Took the Windrush Line to Dalston yesterday and it reminded me of that time I tried to enrage Twitter with a list of suggested Overground names.

Farage: Racist Traitor Grifter Liar Coward

Me waiting for the BBC to report on a sitting MP publicly stating that she's "driven mad" by people of colour appearing on her telly.

Well worth reading. When Tory mouth-honkery policy is put under any kind of spotlight it evaporates, leaving a greasy stain of old-school racism and xenophobia.

Talking of disapproval, Suki really doesn't care for 1960s Central Line rolling stock.

Seen a lot of flowery admonitions but sometimes - like now - you have drop the niceties and respect for different opinions, and instead say "what a disgusting cunt Pochin is"

Yesterday it was Ghorman, today it's Slough House.

"Catford? You're having a laugh mate - I'm not going south of the river at this time of night..."

The only positive thing about last night is that on the way to London Stadium we came up with the idea for a giant screen porn festival called Climax at the Imax.

Speaking as an angry Jewish football fan, I wish the police had banned me from going to West Ham tonight.

Out walking the dog around Epping this morning and placed a @billybragg.bsky.social sticker at the epicentre of flag noncing (outside the Bell Hotel).

Might just repost this weekly from now on.

I see it's still illegal to vote out white men on this show. #TheTraitors

Established celebrities banish a far less famous young man at the very first opportunity on the basis of fuck all. #CelebrityTraitors

I've been reading a book about having no sexual organs or bodily orifices but tbh now I can't be fucked.

Tadej Pogacar wins the final Monument of the season, taking 3 of the 5, alongside retaining his Tour de France title and the World Championship jersey, and winning the European Champs too. No doubt he won't get a mention in BBC's International SPOTY category. share.google/5gXb66JET7ZW...

Used a Lime bike for the first time yesterday. It was fun but too expensive. Tune in for more in-depth reviews tomorrow.

Best email of the day.

No matter how many times you may think I called Robert Jenrick a cunt while in the pub last night, your guess is still way off.

Official: we can't have nice things

I seem to be in a Central Line fever dream. I've just been on a Grange Hill via Woodford train and now I've seen one going to Hainault NOT via Newbury Park. The board now says: Loughton Epping Epping which has never happened in all of history.

I attended @makingthemarrow.bsky.social's wedding reception and she's been to two of my kids' school quizzes.

Until the state broadcaster unequivocally calls Robert Jenrick a cunt on the hour, every hour, British media will remain broken.

Jenrick. Always fucking Jenrick.

Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”

It's not just the views of London that make me proud to be Britiish.

Can't beat London commuting on a good day.

Your occasional reminder that Samsung's strap line sounds like Danny Dyer didn't quite hear the last thing you said.

Every word.

Me waiting for any socially-aware celebrity I follow on Insta to remark about a terrorist attack occurring on British soil today. Even just one.

If your response to Jewish people being stabbed to death and mowed down by a car in Manchester is “Gaza” you’re a charlatan and an antisemite and you need to get in the fucking bin. I’ve had enough. Jews have had enough. And you’re no ally of the Palestinian people if you behave like this.

Bloody hell. Was watching The Firm on iPlayer just the other day, where he plays someone other than young Micky.

I never post on Yom Kippur but: When British Jews tell you antisemitism is getting worse BELIEVE US. It shouldn’t take us getting stabbed by terrorists on the holiest day in our calendar for you to believe us.

If anyone's accidentally mislaid their dinner on the Central Line, you'll be able to pick it up at Epping Station in about five minutes.