“My wife went to Riyadh to see an edgy comedian” “Jimmy Carr?” “No, she went of her own accord”

Got my performance review.

And now it’s been hijacked by Oracle where every single American is separated from the rest of the world, with our own special algorithm. Wonder what they’ll do with it now! I bet it’s all for the greater good.

“The Riyadh Comedy Festival” should be a Comic Strips Presents… episode about a group of edgy comedians staying at the same luxury hotel for the festival, all trying to out ‘edge’ each other and terrified of appearing woke, while also panicking as members of their group start disappearing.

I have the impression that the combined policy choices of his tenure so far have done something I think Labour assumed was impossible: they’ve dislodged the progressive, ideological left. That group (which, yeah, includes me) isn’t locked in for them anymore.

There’s a Labour talking point at the moment that the left has ignored immigration to this point. I’m not sure who it’s aimed at. Immigration was point 4 on the Ed Stone… www.theguardian.com/news/2015/de...

Is anyone else in the UK getting an absolute shit-ton of spam phone calls lately? Or am I somehow blessed?

They arrived. oh no. OH NO.

CHOTINER: And you didn’t know this person - what did you call him again? CELEBRIMBOR GREATEST OF THE ELVEN SMITHS: Right, his name was Annatar but CHOTINER: And you taught him to create a ring harnessing all his malice and cruelty? CELEBRIMBOR: Well I mean I was deceived CHOTINER: So you’ve said

Reposting this bc the Spacediversary and it being Back To Uni Time is a great reminder (threaded are some photos from Xennial Student Houseshares looking EXACTLY like this)

Ah, fall, when a young man’s fancy turns to soup.

hes_outta_line_but_hes_right.gif

I feel like a madman pointing this out but the plausible, real world explanation for the marked uptick in work visas after 2019 is quite simply that in the previous year, the UK blew up its entire labour market by getting rid of FOM, on which it was intrinsically and inherently dependent.

i see what the slack icon was going for here, on ios 26, but to my eyes it just looks blurry. like a low-res icon, badly upscaled

You live, you learn

And since she's Tatiana Maslany she was actually able to cancel 17 separate times

10/10, no notes

I met Dan Ackroyd at a liquor store. I asked him “why would Elwood Blues select a Ford LTD for the new Bluesmobile when the 94 Chevy Caprice 9C1 is better in every way?” He looked me dead in the eye and said “Ha. It looked weird.” A king.

A producer told me once she has to warn young crewmembers to avoid being alone with Aykroyd. "Not because he's a creep, he's a gentleman. But if you let him strike up a conversation the next thing we know all the PAs will be huddled in his dressing room learning how humans evolved from dolphins."

heh, I just noticed that the gradual size creep of the apple watch means the "small model" series 11 is the same size as the "large model" series 1 (although thinner)

They've been told that racism is wrong but they've also been told that the views they hold are right. So if the views they hold are right then they can't be racist because that is wrong

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

"we cannot express our regrets profoundly enough, but it is our hope that you will use these two free passes to return to jurassic park"

Each alleged mass shooter is even more On the Computer All the Time than the previous one. Probably nothing to worry about there

A rather telling sign of the times. Matt from Mongoose explains a tweak to the "rescue a billionaire" sample adventure in their upcoming near-future RPG. #games #rpg #gooddog

to put a fine point on it: for all intents and purposes, charlie kirk was not only a member of the government, he was a highly valued and senior member. on the other hand congressional dems and career civil servants are not viewed that way at all.

Live your life in such a way that a neutral description of your actions isn’t called disrespectful to your family.

“The Gang Investigates an Assassination”

The people who cover politics cover the sport of politics as distinct from government. To them a very successful political influencer *is* more important than a state legislator. They’ve heard of him before. (Because this is bluesky so it helps to be explicit — this is bad)

@govpritzker.illinois.gov's take on Kirk is the correct one: "Political violence, unfortunately, has ramped up in this country ... I think there are people who are fomenting it in this country. I think the president's rhetoric often foments it." On point. So glad Democrats are saying this.

well then

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

fraser reboot / twisted metal crossover episode when (btw the twisted metal tv show is v. good, as improbable as that sounds)

Now that’s an patriotic American quote for the ages, right there. “Yield, man! Let the troops come into your city” How far we’ve fallen. And the bottom is still not in sight.

Q: but what if a full Epstein investigation also takes down Bill Clinton????? A:

this is called "doing a streeting" which is to position yourself firmly on the wrong side of an issue for no reason and to no one's benefit

I told @joshua.stealingheather.com, developer of @iceblock.app, that he was running a vulnerable version of Apache on his server. He ignored my vulnerability report and blocked me, and his service is still vulnerable today micahflee.com/iceblock-han...

Fun fact! The word "euphemism" comes from UEFI because the ancient Greeks knew better than to reference it directly.

it is very telling that “BIOS”, in addition to being an acronym, is also the Greek word for “life”. meanwhile, “UEFI” is, of course, ancient Greek for “unified extensible firmware interface”

UNLIMITED VELOCITY

Travel in England is basically the opposite of that classic wormhole demonstration with a folded piece of paper.

This gets progressively funnier with every use of the term "floppy".

lmao

On the same day in the Telegraph:

memento (2000)