it's not actually an honor to end up on the cover of Viziers Monthly. it shows your machinations aren't subtle enough

I don't know how I got this, or when, or why. Or who I should send it to without a return address.

Ye have lost thy pass-word? Ye oath-sworn secret by father and father-upon? And remember not ye his Mother's Mother's name? And in what shallow midden, what rotten hollow did thy Mother's womb spit thee forth?

Tracy Morgan: "New York City that's where King King died... and we told Godzilla you next motherf*cker. You, the three headed monster, the flying turtle, all y'all can all get it."

What was the conversation about keeping Lincoln on Meat Rushmore?

Sorry I don’t watch this show and Facebook keeps showing me this scene as a harrowing moment for the character and all I can think is that she took a wrong turn at Albuquerque

Bluesky: the sports app @davidjroth.bsky.social @normcharlatan.bsky.social

Did I get the first @ditzkoff.bsky.social tag on this one????

Endorse

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if i lived in popeye town and one day i saw a ropy little sailor punch a huge guy so hard his skeleton flew out of his mouth thats the only thing i would talk about for the rest of my life

Penguins-Flyers gonna light up Bluesky, the app for sports

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME DARLING YOU GIVE LOVE A

Happy March 15. Here is my favorite Ides of March meme:

Death comes for us all; even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little.

I've seen too many roadrunner cartoons to fall for this again

Another point for nominative determinism

from time to time I consider that basically everything with a spine likes being pet, and due to the vagaries of hand evolution Team Human has the best petters in the game

All this time it's been "Anchors Aweigh"????

Somebody FINALLY said it

Boss: And who should be the face of this sexy new network for teens? Me, first time I've spoken all meeting:

Hemingway was once bet that he couldn’t write the world’s happiest short story in just 5 words. He replied,

(walking up to an ape who is using a stick to scoop ants out of a rotting log and eat them) let me get a bite of those ants

POV you are about to lose at Guess Who

They should list the relationship status of the skaters because I don't like not knowing what's going on between those two.

Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics

6 year-old me: ROAST HIM

How are kids supposed to watch Price is Right if they have remote learning days instead of snow days??

I endorse the hiring of anyone, for any job, named Jim Bob Cooter

every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie

Just won $5,000 on an in-game parley! 1. Globetrotters win 2. Slam dunks, 25 (over) 3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over) 4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)

They're calling the N64 THE Christmas gift of 2025: Physical media Cannot connect to the internet Does not ask for money

"Ho, ho, ho, children! Here’s that crack you ordered in your stocking!"

if I were Scrooge, Jacob Marley showing up in chains would have been all it took. message received, thank you Jake, I will give Bob Cratchit a raise

As the kids say

Broken Windows Theory but for gingerbread houses

the best argument against cord-cutting — the one i would use if i were trying to market a cable company — is that streaming has yet to replicate the wonder of “stumbling across the last 30 minutes of My Cousin Vinny before bedtime”

SHOW JERRY JONES YOU COWARDS

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

PA politicos will recall a direct line between this tendency, and the current makeup of the PA Supreme Court. www.cbsnews.com/news/pennsyl...

You could spend an entire career and $1 billion to uncover a more perfect situation for the tush push, and you'd fail.

As a communications professional and completely unrelated to my support for the Eagles, my advice is to Keep Doing This

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