realized that since I started working from home I've given myself the same schedule as a second grader every couple hours I make sure to stand up and go run outside for a bit if I do all my tasks I get a pizza day i'm nervous about giving Becky Mitchell the GOOD valentines card life is a circle.

I exclusively cheer for blue and white teams who suck ass all year except for their Portuguese player and then finish the season on a high note that makes every other fanbase mad.

Watching soccer on an American channel and holy shit it's wild how many of the commercials are for lawyers or medicine. The whole country is just popping pills and suing each other... Which tracks with the discourse to be fair.

Happy two year anniversary to Eras Tour Lisbon. Here's a video I don't think I've ever shared from the best day of my life.

A ball got lodged in the outfield during the Jays game........

Are the Oilers aware they are allowed to acquire players and staff who weren't formerly Leafs???

Fucking finally. I knew all this reading would pay off eventually.

The Carolina Hurricanes this week

Wearing a white shirt while walking outside which means in about 5-10 minutes I will be wearing an iced americano coloured shirt.

My apartment is in a great area with great rent control but it's too small for me to host board games and bevs nights so I'm considering moving.

Walking down Yonge Street right now and noticed a storefront that used to be an Army Surplus Store is now a flower shop. Incredible environmental storytelling right there. Straight out of a background gag in a Wes Anderson movie.

Got three laughing emojis in the group chat just now. Did this with purely hard work. No trust fund. No nepotism. No one believed I could do it. But here we are. Put in the memes and now we're seeing the results. We did this. You can do it too.

I'm gonna crash out. Get this loser away from my team.

Injuring an opponent's star player and/or starting goalie = $5,000 fine Not spending 5 minutes saying "we're trying to get pucks in deep" = $100,000 fine

It's gonna be 20 degrees all long weekend here in Toronto and no patio is safe. Condolences to the server who's going to have to listen to me sing the Monster Rancher theme song at full volume while on my seventh radler.

As someone who doesn't enjoy Drake's music, what if instead of simply not engaging with his new album, I instead messaged every Drake fan I know to let them know I hate it. Would this be a normal way to spend my day or a psycopathic one? As a Taylor fan, I've been told this is normal behaviour.

DALTON VARSHOOOO

Y'all shit on Chayka but in a week he's already won the lottery and fired Berube, both things only he could have personally achieved.

BABE WAKE UP CRAIG BERUBE IS GONE

The internet is dangerous because humans aren't built to rapid fire see this many attractive people. It used to be that if you wanted to see a 12/10 you had to go sail the Aegean Sea with a bunch of your homies just for a single baddie.

hell yeah brother

It wasn't a dream??? The Leafs really won the draft lottery???

Leafs really sacrificed Sundin to Vancouver only so he could rise again 20 years later and steal their first overall pick.

What if Danford makes the jump this year and we have both Danford and McKenna/Stenberg on rookie contracts for the next three years??? The 180 this team just did is so exciting. I will not be pessimistic about any of it, I haven't been this excited for the future of the team since the 4 goal game.

I'm going to be in Vancouver this summer, am I in danger?

Sports are scripted and I'm in the writers room.

Undefeated in the John Chayka era.

Do I get 7 2 11 12 tattooed across my chest???

This is so much better than losing a game 7.

As I was saying, this was a fantastic season for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I haven't been this happy since I saw Eras Tour

HOLY FUCK UOLY FUCK I CANT BELIEGE IT LMAOOOOOO SUCK IT PLAYOFF NERDS WE WON THE SECOND BEST PRIZE OF THE YEAR

MATS SUNDIN FINALLY WON WITH TORONTO

AHHHHHHHSJDUDJDHEJEJFF

to be fair, 19/20 people who work in hockey would also tell you that woke causes autism so I dunno if that's a valid source to be citing in a press conference

I refuse to care about hockey* even 1% when it's sunny and over 20 degrees out Y'all cannot trick me into caring which dude in a suit will be head of decisions for a team that plays a sport where rules are made up and suspensions are based on vibes *exception: tomorrow's draft lottery

anyone who is being negative about the Chayka hire doesn't know anything about hockey "but-but he quit on the Arizona Coyotes!!!" ummm hello? there's not even a team called the Arizona Coyotes??? Get educated nerds.

If the Sceptres lose Emma Maltais in the explanation draft I'm gonna crash out.

DID THE RAPTORS JUST WIN ON ANOOOOTTTHHHEEERRR CRAZY BOUNCE????

SCOTTIE BARNES IS MY NLGROAT* *Non-Lowry Greatest Raptor of All Time

The Leafs have 3 NHL quality goaltenders going into next season so a deal with the Oilers seems completely obvious. Especially since they can no longer send down Hildeby without waivers. Which means I'm terrified that they're going to trade one of them straight up for Nurse no salary retained.

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only. Mr Bean The Good Place Lost Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Breaking Bad South Park Ted Lasso The Boys Community DBZ Kai Friends Freaks and Geeks Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Yuri on Ice Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Feeling This - blink-182 Exile - Taylor Swift Misery Business - Paramore The Best of Me - The Starting Line Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast Guerrilla Radio - Rage Against the Machine Til I Collapse - Eminem Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Her: Send me a dirty pic. Me: Uhhhhh...

Audio: The Ending Writes Itself Physical: The Copywriter Words From Hell Animorphs Graphic Novels

Excuse me? The Cleveland Cavaliers play in a place called ROCKET Arena? There's literally a team in the league called the Rockets???????????????????

are the jays so back??? 👀👀👀

replacing "finish your drink" with "show me you can take it all" to find out which of my friends has a praise kink

I don't know man, I feel like the fact that every hockey fan I know barely cares about the regular season and superstars are consistently missing significant amounts of games is a pretty glaring red flag that the season may be too long. Less games and no more expansion before you kill it further.

Life hack: there is nothing stopping u from ordering a pup cup for yourself