Epic dance remix in 5… 4… 3…

Delighted to accidentally discover someone's selling cheese scones on ebay. If I buy now I could have them by Thursday.

This just reminded me of Julian Clary talking to Paul Merton on the new/old Room 101. JC: I've got one of those Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candles PM: I bet that's the closest you've ever been to a candle

I absolutely loved this song when it came out, but only discovered recently that it has the most incredible video too. Go on, stop what you're doing for 3 minutes and have a look, it's so perfectly made and full of wonderful moments. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkRN...

Trick question. Those things only played Brothers In Arms and Graceland.

Popped into Cambridge yesterday. Quite strange to see the huge construction site where they've demolished loads of buildings on Hills Road (including the BBC Radio studios 😢) but, in the middle, the Flying Pig still standing (just about)

What's your sign?

What's your sign?

"Iconic Ballroom" klaxon #strictly

We now go live to the back of Ross King's head #strictly

"Content creator" #strictly

This seems sarcastic

How are you? It's Alan (Partridge)

Honestly? Under-30s these days seem to be managing pretty well with life already, considering all the awfulness the world is throwing at them. They're far healthier, smarter and more sensible than I was. The best advice I can suggest is this, by @joshuaidehen.bsky.social youtu.be/eNmxddPMU8Y?...

Yes, because there's no such thing

I'm 15 minutes into this and already I never want it to end. A joyous, fascinating chat about one of the best, most beautifully-made comedies. Like sitting in a pub eavesdropping on a conversation at the next table between four smart, funny people, occasionally thinking "OMG I'd forgotten that bit!"

Man on Masterchef says his first 'dessert memory' was the time his mum let him make his own pudding, so he mixed together meringue, cream & strawberries. WTF? You're six, your mum says "Go on, make a pudding" and you decide to dick about with Eton Mess when you could just down a bottle of Ice Magic?

A guy came up to me and a mate in the High Street once. "Alright lads, do you know where the Bell Hotel is?" "Er, you see that bell...?"

Narrator: Sadly though, we could hear him #totp

I was once invited to see Silver Sun play the 100 Club. Cue idiot teenage me wandering up and down Oxford Street trying to find the 100 Club, eventually giving up, asking a man in a tourist shop "Um, where's the 100 Club?" and him saying "Err.. Try number 100" #totp

SILVER SUN!!!!! #totp

B*Witched and B*Witched (Deceased) #totp

"Doofer Love" #totp

I often wonder what the modern equivalent of Fun Boy Three and Bananarama would be. This might be the 90s equivalent #totp

This reminds me of Ardal O'Hanlon doing stand-up. "Look at the size of this stage! What am I doing with all this?! I've got no business being over this side at all!" #totp

(Spoiler alert) #totp

Jo Whiley's links tonight have a weird Industrial-Action feel to them. Either that or she'd forgotten her keys and had to host the show from the biscuit factory over the road #totp

If you can't type a basic email address then frankly I'm not interested #totp

The UK version of Monopoly should be updated so when you build a hotel, there's a load of bald middle-aged blokes shouting outside.of them.

Music For A Skipful Of Trumpets is my favourite John Cage piece.

An important update for everyone who was concerned about that skipful of trumpets search.app/astJB

🚨NEW EPISODE !🚨 Out today, our Smashie and Nicey End of an Era Special. Guy Walker and @robertcheath.bsky.social are joined by @ricardoautobahn.co.uk and @robgilroy.bsky.social Get it below, alright? Amazon: shorturl.fm/1vDBU Apple: shorturl.fm/59TlH Spotify: shorturl.fm/6vFBr

Google Photos just reminded me of my son's old coat, where the designer apparently didn't send over one of the comic-strip fonts, so it just said 'BAM' in lower-case Helvetica, like he was the least-interested superhero ever. Punctual Man. The Credible Hulk. Hullboy.

This week I learned the Sugarcubes once covered the Carpenters, and it's WONDERFUL. The original was such a sweet song, it really benefits from having a tiny bit of grit added to slightly rough it up. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq6O...

Today's NYC Connections

I feel just a few years ago, anyone attending that rally would be sacked by their employer. Bring that back

Spent a really busy morning cleaning the house, hoovering, dusting, polishing, laundry, the lot. Then, to give myself a break, decided to visit my mum for a cup of tea and a chat. Within two minutes she'd got me up a ladder to pull some branches off the roof, then down to the garage to catch a rat.

The B-side (or whatever they're called on CD singles) to C'est La Vie was great. It was the girls doing a quiz about what different words were in Irish #totp

This B*Witched dance routine is making my back hurt #totp

Are those wide tippers in the room with us? #totp

Ooh! Bookmark this tweet: In the next week or so, this song will appear on #totp again, with one of the most awkward directorial decisions and video effects ever seen

One of my favourite almost-instantly-dated lyrics, up there with The Streets' "You won't find us on Alta Vista" #totp

Yay, here we go! This is perfect #totp

Round of applause for that woman on the right, who managed to go through her whole showreel of expressions in one intro #totp

I swear one of those dancers is about to kick Daz up the arse #totp

"Sorry, can we go again? I think they've left last week's script on the autocue" #totp

Good news for Dutch people who hate their partner's shoe collection

I need you to understand what this country feels like right now for those of us who look different. I'm sitting here, trying to plan for Saturday, make sure I don't even need to go to the corner shop for milk, like it's Christmas Day or lockdown. Why? Because I live near where Yaxley-Lennon will 1/

Is it me, or is today's NYT Pips game a picture of a robot giving me the middle finger?

Bad news for TV show contestants touting for votes by standing behind the host as they give out the number, doing the phone-hand gesture. How are you meant to mime online voting? Stare at your hand and waggle your thumb?