Due to work events I've had unusual pints on a Tuesday. As a strictly weekend pisser it's all a bit topsy turvy I won't lie.

Dexter says hello!

Knew it. They absolutely bottled that the shit houses. That's not getting disallowed down the other end is it?

Outstanding stop by Raya!

Well that's European football in the bin then. If you'd have offered us solid midtable with signs of progress at the start of the season I'd have taken it. But it feels like an opportunity squandered now doesn't it?

Get up you diving get!

What's that you say? They bollocksed it up again?

Dear Everton. This is a very winnable game. If you can somehow not bollocks it up again, that would be nice. Cheers

Tonight was the first episode of #SNLUK I watched with my wife after I bigged it up for weeks. Not one of the best episodes for me but she really enjoyed it so what do I know!

Have yous seen Mickey 17? Just watched it now. While I thought the pacing was a bit off and it could have been shorter, I have to say it absolutely stuck the landing. Pattinson was excellent and it was a spot-on satire that did have a real heart to it. Rating: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 + 👨‍🚀

Well this happened today. We are well through the looking glass at this point.

🧵

Seems like a good time to remind all match going Evertonians that the Holy Trinity gaff opposite HDS is owned by a knobhead who stood for Deform in the 2024 GE. Pains me to see people in there every time I go past

Some good news, the Reform restauranteur lost! And he's managed to likely alienate 2/3 of his customer base in the process.

Rare politics post. Idea for the Labour Party. No matter how much you try to pander to the right wing, the press will still call you a bunch of Lefty Loons. So if you're being accused of it anyway, you might as well, I dunno, try and be a bit lefty, like you were supposed to?

Go on the Villa! Always had time for them me. Except when you know who was in charge obviously

"You might think you look like Tom Selleck with that muzzy but honestly you look more like Kevin Webster." Funny thing for Sir Dave to say but he's right, of course.

Local restauranteur round here is standing for Reform and has defaced his own gaff by pockmarking it with their cuntish signs. Wonder what their new menu is? KKKale Soup Salt & Pepper Mings A bad sausage with fash Nazi Goreng Strawberry Mousselini All comes with Large Lies

Get in! If you haven't given it a go yet and are able to, I would recommend it. If you bear with the first 10/15 minutes of the first episode, it gets A LOT better.

Dead Turner, am I right?

For some reason I wouldn't half smash a Burger King right now.

“There’s a film on about the rise to fame of a nonce and his troubled relationship with his dad? Let’s go!”

Also you know #Everton were never going to be allowed to win when the little know & seldom used rule is applied 17.1.b, Fouls: 'Rugby tackles are permitted when a player from a Top 6 club with 115 charges against it does it' This was checked & cleared Explanation in Alt Text

Go ead Wu Yize! Doctor Wu put on a potting clinic. #snooker

All we need now to put the cherry on top of the turd cake is Tory pig boy Murphy winning the snooker

That's just bollocks. The very generous 6 minutes were well up but apparently we keep playing til city score apparently. Fuck off!

This Everton v City match is drunker than I was last night!

Fucking HELL!

BARRY LAD!

Illy would want that one back for sure.

Alex Higgins shit this by young Wu. #snooker

Oh well, turns out you DO know it turns out

Shot to nothing tonight so you never know do you? Up The Fucking Bank Holiday Toffees!

Rats joining a sinking ship?

Do this one next week! #SNLUK youtu.be/AZh11m_2uwY?...

Don't mess with these. They're fucking nails.

Gods of snooker, you better not make me root for Mark Allen in the final now. #snooker

If, like me, you've been enjoying SNL UK and in particular the remarkable George Fouracres, look what the YouTube algorithm has just delivered! It's all good but the last 5 minutes is inspired. youtu.be/ONkClYuVZCA?...

Who are yous rooting for in the snooker then? For me it's Wu or Higgins but really ABM. Anyone But Murphy. Can't stand the slimy piggy fucker.

I can never work out if Romesh Ranganathan's agent is either the hardest working person in showbiz or is just a pre-programmed message saying "He'll do it".

So it's been really sunny all the working week and the absolute minute we finish for a Bank Holiday weekend it's about to piss down for 3 days straight? Anybody got one of those online petitions? Dear cunts in charge of the weather....

I'll hazard a guess most of yous wouldn't know David Allan Coe or that he died today. He was a character to put it mildly but also he did sing one of the absolute best ever country and western songs. youtu.be/LZbso7sNqv0?...

And the plums have mutated and have got beaks.

Hossein Vafaei, take a bow son!

If any of you beautiful bastards on here is in need of a CSCS labourer, give us a shout. I'll work weekends as well if need be.

Number 723 of things most people would rather drink than Carlsberg.

THAT'S a fucking goalie. Go on lad!

My friend just told me about the time she was tricked into fellating the World Cup winning former German football manager Joachim. Apparently it was a real Löw blow.

If I’m being honest, I’m feeling pretty down about my small business. I’m working so hard but it’s been very quiet. It’s bloody difficult at the moment. Please have a look at what I do and repost to spread the word. www.gailmyerscough.co.uk