By the looks of him on The One Show, Peter Kay's final live shows next year might be Final in more than ways than one.

Tax the year-round fireworks fuckers

Having my first Philpotts Christmas sarnie since Covid. I regret to inform you, it's not what it was. And definitely not worth 6 and a half quid. A once mighty institution, now humbled, an economic bust and a shadow of its former self. Choose your own metaphor here

[bursts in panting covered in Sharpie]

Fucking well in Everton! That was boss that. Up the fuckin self-handicapping, teammate slapping Toffees!

Holding on by our fingertips here. COYB!

Gana absolutely was a dickhead there. But the game's gone soft as shite if that's a sending off and OH FUCK ME DEWSBURY HALL! GET IN!

The fucks just happened there? Absolutely bizarre

Who's Ric Flair's favourite film director? Yes it's John Woo No, you sod off!

What's your least favourite Christmas advert this year and why is it the Asda?

Can I buzz in? I think he means RFK will eat PUSSY out of ANY OTHER WOMAN THAN THE ONE HE'S WITH

Most of yous are asleep now but I have a genuine question. Those of you who are still actively on twitter/X and, importantly, it's not because of your livelihood/work. What do you get out of it? What would be your tipping point for sacking it off?

Dexter was fast asleep and I swear the second I pulled my phone out to take a pic he knew it. You be the judge

Hey, maybe thish Slot machine jusht paid out too early guys!

Been doing some Saturday Bon Jovis for work. Have I missed anything in the footy? 😜

Buying #Christmas cards or presents? Shop with small independents (like me) instead of the big high street names. www.gailmyerscough.co.uk Are you a small business? Reply with your link. Let's support each other this Christmas.

Trump's looking at Mamdani exactly like the South Park version of him looks at Satan. I have no idea what that means and be honest neither does anyone.

Made an experimental vegetarian risotto for me and the veggie wife tonight. Yes that is avocado in there. Come on then, give it to me!

What To Know About ‘Pluribus’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-pluribus/

See what happens when I don't watch any of the cricket. England fans, I'm available to not watch any of the Ashes this winter for a reasonable price!

wanna hear a joke?

QS are purple Roses are blue We all agree though The toffee ones are poo

Bloody hell Mani's dead? What happened there?

I've never done this before but I have a family connection here. It's all on the level like and some decent prizes. If there's any way anyone fancies it and is able to spare some cash at this time of year, here's the link below. Cheers raffaly.co.uk/raffles/ente...

Read this if you want to be more depressed about the state of the nation. The brain worms have taken root it seems. I'm starting to think this internet lark hasn't worked out too well for us you know!

Fucking hell BBC New Comedy Awards. No spoilers if you haven't watched the final but that's a very strange decision to me!

If you're interested in things of this nature and with Christmas coming, I can heartily recommend Matt's book about Siskel & Ebert "Opposable Thumbs".

I got loads of these. Brace yourselves! Stab Bar Milky Gay Shittles SARS bar

Change one letter and ruin a sweet (or candy if you're so inclined) Dairy Milf

Fucking freezing cold and pissing down in Manchester as per. I'm full of cold about to cram myself onto a ridiculously busy train in rush hour. No matter how many lights they put up and how much they blare out Last Christmas in the street, I'm not feeling it right now lads!

Is there ANYONE out there who actually enjoys it when they sing on Only Connect? I'm a reasonable man but it makes me want to smash people's teeth in with a hammer

Turn the sound down due to the swearing. Here's Roger Mellie - The Man On Your Telly. #petercook youtu.be/reddQPySNTU

Vegan biscuits. Is it just me or does that sound like something filthy out of the Viz Profanisaurus?

I eat Green Berets for breakfast... and right now, I'm very hungry!

Watching the Stars game and win or lose it's great to see my wife and Dallas Stars OG fan @ymberlenis.bsky.social is buzzing off Joe Nieuwendyk getting his props. #TexasHockey

What are the criteria for the heats here? Only 2 out of the 5 are even Scottish. I had very high hopes for Glasgow but this has been disappointing. BBC New Comedy Awards - 2025: 5. Scotland: Glasgow - BBC iPlayer share.google/8R7Ca4db877Q...

What is your favourite song about the rain? youtu.be/T9MXNbpXQ3g?...

Get to know your mutuals, list ten random things you like Dogs (especially Dexter our dog) 60s - 90s music Good films & Terrible films The Toffees Comedy (not unrelated to the above) The wife (obviously) Sports Cold German beer Books Quizzes

Can't say I remember all of these but oh my, Golden Cup was incredible!

Get really stoned and turn your alarm off?

That's terribly sad news. I haven't read The Observer for a good while and didn't even know she was ill. R.I.P Rachel Cooke, a hell of a writer.

Tarka Dhal. Does anyone else say that to themselves in a Trey Parker South Park voice?

Alright then amateur detectives, who do you reckon this is?

Say what you like about old dead Jeff Epstein but he was efficient. Apparently his maxim was "This paedophile meeting could be an email".

What's that big Waitrose Christmas advert all about? Is the message you too could cop off with an attractive Hollywood actress if you go to Waitrose? Is Keira Knightley the titular "perfect gift"? Not that it's aimed at me anyway. Literally. They don't have a store anywhere in Liverpool!

It's true! 3 of my all time favourite chocolate bars there as well. RIP Topic, Drifter & the divisive but delicious dark chocolate Bounty

Save you a click. It's Death Wish V: The Face Of Death Butt Woman Jingle All The Way 2 Mrs Brown's Boys D' Movie

Please feel free to share. Got commitments to meet on Friday and have a lot of spare time outside of a very part time role! Local to Liverpool and Wirral, but can travel in the right circumstances Thanks pals! 💙 #Liverpool #Jobs #Chef #Hamdyman #Wirral #ManualLabor

Alright, this one's too easy. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Every morning at 6am, he’s woken up by the radio playing this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN86...