As we enter 2026, remember that…

The number of times I just find myself singing “Rock and roll, roll and rock away, Up and down, round and round we sway, We're the swell in the spell, Of the rollin' rockin' rhythm of the sea” to myself while pottering around is quite worrying.

Me looking back at 2025

What was your biggest impact on the internet? Probably Pie Club.

Six episodes on Friday, fam #TOTP

Just imagine if this was Sweden’s only contribution to music, they would be very rightly shunned #TOTP

We’ve got Whitesnake at home! #TOTP

YMCA is apparently not about gay men’s things #TOTP

Why’s @gillianmcshane.bsky.social on #TOTP?

Dancing Queen is about 21st on my list of Abba songs #TOTP

ABBA have come in their away kit due to a clash with Brotherhood of Man #TOTP

Linda, Denise, Coleen and Keith #TOTP

The Nolans have come in the home, away, third and goalkeeper kits #TOTP

Two Hearts is about Les from Vic Reeves Big Night Out. #totp

The death of the combat trouser is on your screen right now #TOTP

This song is about The Doctor #TOTP

Let’s hope this episode of #TOTP doesn’t overturn, eh?

Simon hs come a semi-hopkirk (Deceased) #TOTP

Strike a pose #TOTP

Brogues #TOTP

Also, 1000 years and only four generations on, they must live for a hell of a long time #TOTP

Living underwater seems quite a fundamental change, tbh #TOTP

Let’s hope no-one brings a football on to ruin this performance #TOTP

Lesser-seen Roy Wood not doing a Christmas song #TOTP

Great Cthulhu - YOUR TIME HAS COME.

Whatever you want Whatever you need Whatever you want Whatever you need Whatever you want Come on sweet caroline Your my sweet caroline I know you want to… me Come on sweet caroline Would you like to ride me paper plane #TOTP

Elton John’s real name is Engelbert Humperdinck #TOTP

Joan Jett was invented in Rugby by Frank Wittle #TOTP

Will.i.am is the only subdomain to ever be involved in a UK number 1 #TOTP

Will.I.Am is not in a band with Sarah Ferguson #TOTP

What’s that noise I can hear? Oh, ist’s Cathy Dennis rolling in money. Again. #TOTP

Why has Lionel stolen Simon Mayo’s glasses? #TOTP

Is everyone doing a keynote speech at Apple after the recording? #TOTP

Why are they all dressed as Steve Jobs? #totp

I prefer their earlier work #TOTP

Beyoncé and Jay-Z are America’s Richard & Judy #TOTP

Beyonce seems to expecting to arrest a number of small people #TOTP

One of the degrees has come as Hopkirk (Deceased) and one has come as Dairy Milk #TOTP

Lord Reith stands over the bloodied carcass of Trevor Horn, raises his sabre and roars to the gods.

BBC Four begins at 7pm #TOTP

What you have to remember about any story involving Christopher Lee is that Christopher Lee as an invariant bullshitter.

By some distance it's Ana Ng

You have until midnight to apply to be the next BBC Director General.

This is a very good recommendation!

MTV Europe was the first place to show Yo! MTV Raps. That seems odd, but the US MTV at that point was a pretty racist station. Yo! got good ratings over here and then the execs over the pond saw that the advertisers weren’t afraid of people with brown skin and commissioned their own version

Favourite: Winona’s Big Brown Beaver by Primus Best: This Is America by Childish Gambino

Jools’ Hootenanny or Ronan Keating & Friends?

We can’t have Clive James’ Review Of The Year nowadays, but we could have Andrew Mueller’s. Come on TV execs, we need acerbic Australians showing us what happened in the last 12 months, not Ronan Keating singing pop hits of yesteryear.

New Year’s Eve

Mixed Tag Team Match